Terminator: Salvation

Posted on April 11, 2020 by Steve

Why‽ Why‽ WHY‽ Why do they keep making sequels to the well-loved Terminator film from 1984‽ I haven’t seen one worth a crap, the short-lived TV show included and my complaint includes Judgment Day but Salvation really shits the bed.

There’s a horrible, predictable twist to this one. Instead of Skynet sending its machines to the past to prevent a future outcome, we start in the present. An untalented Sam Worthington (Avatar) is a convicted murderer who volunteers his corpse for Science. Being a Terminator film everyone and their dog knows he will be a cyborg or his psyche is imprinted on a robot via Skynet.

Jump forward to the future (2018!) with John Connor leading the fight against Skynet and its minions. The weird part here, he’s not in charge! An international cabal of generals and admirals traveling by submarine are. I’m guessing Sarah is disappointed. If she isn’t, then she should be with the casting of mercurial Christian Bale, the worst Batman since Val Kilmer.

Anyway, there’s chases, shooting, exposition, repeat. Nothing really new or interesting beyond the Terminators having motorcycle versions, a giant-mech-like version which collects people a la War of the Worlds style and an obligatory, digitally retro’d Ah-nold cameo. The resistance having functional A-10 Warthogs is a twist. They were effective at slaughtering Iraq’s forces fleeing in 1991, maybe Skynet hasn’t figured them out. The Sam guy just repeats the role Ah-nold had in Judgment Day but he’s keeping Kyle Reece (Michael Biehn’s character) alive so he’ll one day go through the time portal…in a few years because he’s a teen.

I watched Salvation for it was on Netflix, needed to remove it from my queue, I loved the original and I wanted to see what happened here. How I regret it. How I want those 115 minutes of my life back. Don’t make the same mistake I did. Pass or delete. I have pledged to never bother with watching anything with Terminator in the title regardless of Cameron’s involvement or not. If it’s the 1984 original, then I’m sold.

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1970: Apollo 13 launched

Posted on April 11, 2020 by Steve

The Apollo 13 mission was a demonstration of what happens when you plan and prepare for the worst. It was NASA’s finest hour back then. Hard to believe it happened when the GOP was in the White House since we lost two shuttles under their negligence. Ergo, we shouldn’t be shocked that America’s worst pandemic in a century is also during their watch…again.

Twenty-five years ago, it was a really excellent movie solidifying Tom Hanks’ career as a solid bankable movie star. Hard to believe he started out in a failed SitCom. The funniest thing which happened after seeing the film was a Japanese friend asking, “That really happened?” Her comment wasn’t too surprising though. I didn’t know about NASA’s near miss until 1981 while watching ABC’s filler material before the Columbia launch, starting America’s shuttle period. Our collective memory over the space program truncated so rapidly in the Seventies, it was pathetic.

I do hope my home country gets a more consistent strategy with human space exploration because after the moon landing, we’ve seriously declined and private enterprise isn’t going to fill the gap without sacrificing safety and lives to save money.

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All our pets are wondering this by now…

Posted on April 10, 2020 by Steve

My older cat Isis is in complete agreement, the younger cat Agamemnon probably thinks this is normal.

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RIP Mort Drucker

Posted on April 9, 2020 by Steve

Mort Drucker was a legendary artist. As Michael J. Fox once said, if you’re mocked in MAD by him, you’ve arrived. He was the TV/Film equivalent of Weird Al even though Mort was around first.

He had an incredible style combining realism/accuracy with the exaggerated physical humor of what the writer was conveying. He’d also throw in little references along the way. One I remembered well was Star Blech II: The Wrath of Korn. While Spook and Jerk are talking, you see a bowling ball in the background asking if Illeer can come put to play! Just too many to reference but he was a highlight I always looked forward to seeing alongside Al Jaffe’s fold-in, Sergio’s little squiggles, Don Martin’s weird stuff and Dave Berg’s The Lighter Side of… section.

It was also a thrill to find Mort’s work in contemporary culture. I have an Anthrax shirt he illustrated of the band from the Eighties. I didn’t go to the show, my roommate got it for me because they opened for Ozzy.

Mort did album covers, movie posters and magazines so whenever you saw these, you knew it was him before you found his signature.

Thanks for everything Mort. You filled my childhood and early adulthood with laughter.

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Aniara

Posted on April 9, 2020 by Steve

The short version. Midsommar meets WALL-E because it’s Swedish and many people lose their sanity during the journey.

If you’re still curious, keep reading…

In the near future, Earth is inhospitable thanks to Climate Change so millions are leaving for Mars via spaceships which can make the trip in three weeks. The main character is an unnamed Mimarobe on the Aniara. Her job is to supervise usage of the Mima Host, a machine used to calm people down by tapping into their memories of Earth’s verdant past before it became a shit show. Normally, only a dozen of the 30,000 passengers bother to utilize this due to the journey’s brevity and they’re more occupied enjoying the 22 restaurants, the night club, shopping…all the consumption responsible for Earth’s horrendous state; a point the film makes.

A week into the flight, Aniara is thrown off course by debris too small to detect/avoid (screws). To prevent immediate disaster, the Captain orders the nuclear fuel ejected but now the ship has no ability to regain its original trajectory. At an all-hands meeting, the Captain explains the situation while promising this setback will last, at worse, two years because they’ll encounter a celestial object to send them back towards Mars. The Mimarobe quickly learns the Captain is lying for her roommate is the Aniara‘s astronomer who reveals that the Captain promised the impossible to prevent the passengers from panicking.

As the weeks turn into months, the Mimarobe’s job becomes critical for scores at a time need the Mima Host to keep it together. This strains the device as the passengers’ nightmares/fears are overwhelming it. The Mimarobe asks the Captain to let the Host have a month to rest. He denies the request saying maintaining order is critical; his captaincy has transformed into a dictatorship. The Mima Host soon implodes/dies, so the Captain blames the Mimarobe and she’s assigned to penal duties with other uncooperative crew members and passengers.

The months become years. The Captain becomes even more ruthless. Cults form, namely a weird fertility one which is very Swedish: expect to see everybody in the altogether, dongs and dirty pillows galore, women hugging in the shower, etc.

Will they ever get to Mars, be rescued, return to Earth, what?

If you still want to watch this rather despair-ladened tale filled with false hope and people at their worst, check it out on Hulu. I was glad I did see it. Much like Prospect, this is Science Fiction at its best. Focusing on people reacting to the fantastic, the improbable and coping with their fate. There’s no Federation rescue starship rushing to find them and go pew pew at the evil aliens.

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Operation: Manhattan Stage One Complete!

Posted on April 9, 2020 by Steve

As of last night, the Master bedroom is over 95% cleaned up and I can’t wait to show it off to my friends in person. I sleep in there now. My cat Isis finds anywhere she wants on the bed when I’m busy elsewhere. Even Agamemnon climbs up to sit on me at various points of the night.

The green sections mean they’re cleaned up and ready for public view. The yellow (currently just the guest bedroom) mean it’s in the middle of being cleaned up/organized. With both bathrooms I will definitely hire pros to give them deep, deep cleanings. I’m not going to put anywhere in red until I’m actively working on it. Some rooms will remain yellow until they’re repaired by a contractor; the two guest rooms have damaged walls by a HVAC leak or something I can’t figure out.

Next up is the living room but it might have the guest rooms happen simultaneously due to the junk stored in them are similar things (books, comics, games, music).

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Bernie leaves, DLC circles wagons around a loser

Posted on April 8, 2020 by Steve

Being only in the Sanders camp to push the Democrats to the Left because we already have a Right-Wing party successfully turning America into a Third World Nation, I am no prepared for the blame throwing in Biden loses. Much like Bilary, He’s a shit candidate who is going to lose and even if he wins, he’ll still kill us all with his denial of reality, resulting in another loss of four years.

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Agamemnon loves Wolf chili

Posted on April 8, 2020 by Steve

He chose to stick his head into the can to see what was left over that he could eat. Then came the rush to get a picture before he cleaned the majority of the goop off his nose. Aggie still had trace amounts you could see on his white fur for two more days. What a silly cat AHS convinced me to adopt.

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RIP Honor Blackman

Posted on April 8, 2020 by Steve

Honor passed away a couple days ago (and not to CV-19). To most Americans, she’s most famous for being Pussy Galore in Goldfinger but I also knew she was one of the first two Avengers before Diana Rigg replaced her to make the show more famous. My good friend Steve B read the original Ian Fleming novels too and told me something the movie version of Goldfinger never tells you, Mrs. Galore was a lesbian. Given Fleming’s 19th Century mindset, I’m guessing that Bond was so great, he got her to change teams, namely in betraying Goldfinger to save America’s gold reserve.

Thanks for being an early female action star Honor! You paved the way for many, many more and my ongoing crush for Diana Rigg/Mrs. Peel.

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The Round Rocker crew promotes Social Distancing

Posted on April 8, 2020 by Steve

A big thank you as well to Kathy and her housemate Ox for loaning us his camera while directing; we’re nowhere close to mastering the art of acting through monitors as the amazing Henson Players can.

Before you tell me, yes, there is an imperfection in the message but the point was made which was the goal.

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EA NHL 20 – Entry 1, helping out my Stars

Posted on April 7, 2020 by Steve

The Pandemic has had one mixed result for me passing the time, I got re-acquainted with the PS4 I earned via points at Pinballz two years ago. Somara found out how to hook it up then I think I played a couple hours of Destiny which was bundled with it. Never touched it again as life and divorce got in the way. Plus I hate FPS games on consoles, they’re overcomplicated and boring. They all have the same storyline since Rambo II, shooting solves everything.

While searching for cheap games, I took the gamble on EA NHL 20 because the full thing was relatively cheap (under $40) and they’ve been including my teams in the AHL for a decade (Stars, Admirals, Wolves and Phantoms). So I’m replaying this season with the majority of their current lineup (EA is usually pretty close) but I moved Jason Robertson to the first/starting line, what were the programmers in Vancouver thinking? Initially I played the first several games at Rookie level, after I did the tutorial. Here the Stars clobbered all in their way. I’ve since bumped the difficulty to the next level, Semi-Pro to improve while I’m grateful EA brought back the earlier control scheme…Jesus, since the late Aughts, they made playing hockey as annoying as Fortnite. Anyway, Semi-Pro has been a mixed bag. I’ve managed to keep to provide the Stars a winning season, just no more shut-outs, terrible passing, beaucoup icing, weak face-off results while getting leading in hits! Above and below are the results of the first seven games (click on them to see a larger view), about 10% of the 2019-20 season. We look decent. We’re in second with 10 points. The rest appears random because the Rampage have never been in first nor undefeated in their 15 seasons of existence while the Wild, Admirals and Griffins should be in better shape.

The coolest new trick I learned with my PS4 is getting screen shots and movies of great moments I’ve pulled off. The downside is the media is posted to Twitter first. Check out this sweet textbook goal I made.

Moving Jason Robertson to the starting/scoring line has created what would be closer to the real-world results. He is leading my fantasy team with five goals! This guy scored over a hundred points with the team he played for last year so I expect great things of him.

On to the next seven games. Let’s see what could’ve been if the Pandemic and Orange Foolius didn’t screw everything up.

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At least they didn’t come from China

Posted on April 7, 2020 by Steve

Given the incompetence of this administration, I wouldn’t be surprised if they thought this was a real offer nor would they get the reference.

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My new cat isn’t terribly smart

Posted on April 6, 2020 by Steve

As you witness, Agamemnon doesn’t know the difference between recordings/emulations and the real thing since he grew up in the wild. Still, it’s cute and funny.

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Prospect

Posted on April 6, 2020 by Steve

Well, one thing I can thank the Pandemic for is it got me to clear out all the movies/shows piling up in my Netflix-Hulu-Disney-Apple+ queues. It’s also giving me an excuse to finally implement a section I’ve wanted to do for years! Originally, I wanted to name it Sick Day Theater but I didn’t want to give the impression, especially an employer, I’m goldbricking by calling out sick just to watch TV…trust me, when I’m ill, I’m illin’.

So…after years of ass dragging, my first installment of Pandemic Theater! (Formerly Sick Day Theater.)

Prospect is an indie, low-budget Sci-Fi flick I saw a trailer for in 2018 yet it never showed up in any Austin movie theaters beyond our annoying festivals. This is when Hulu shines over Netflix, oddly; they tend to carry more of Indie or Foreign stuff. Hell, Parasite will be there in a couple days.

The story entails a father (Damon) and daughter (Cee) team landing on a “green moon” to harvest these rare, lucrative gems called aurelac. Given the gems’ high value, the duo most overcome a few obstacles:

  • The moon’s atmosphere is toxic so wearing a spacesuit with an air filter is mandatory. Don’t let the lush, Pacific-Northwest forest fool you.
  • The aurelac-producing creature’s skin is dangerous. Damon points out during an accidental score that if the chemistry to bring out the gem is imprecise, a lethal explosion will result (as it did to a nearby corpse ) or the treasure dissolves.
  • Their pod didn’t land at their desired destination, forcing them to walk to the rendezvous point for about a cycle.
  • They only have three cycles to get what they can. After this, the mothership leaves and no further vessels are coming to retrieve anyone on the “green moon.”
  • They aren’t nor have been the only people trying to get rich quick. The pair carry a rifle to ward off claim jumpers which are common in the frontier.

Despite their initial misfortunes, they’re a little ahead with the previously mentioned accidental score. The main objective is to meet up at what Damon calls The Queen’s Lair. It’s supposed to be the biggest overlooked deposit of aurelac in years. They’ll make enough money to pay of all their debts and maybe get on to a normal life.

As per the trailer, they run into a couple armed and dangerous mercenaries. One merc and Damon are killed in a sudden exchange. The surviving merc (Ezra) is injured but he makes a deal with Cee, team up and they will both get off the “green moon” alive. Cee has the advantage by owning the only working air filter.

So they trek across the forest, encountering people who went native, environmental hazards and the unsavory people Damon made the deal with. Will they survive? Will they escape? Is Ezra trustworthy even though he killed Damon while explaining to Cee that life on the frontier can be transactional.

Overall, I loved it. Some of the best Science Fiction focuses on its true to purpose. Examining and pushing on the human condition. You don’t need flashy effects, mind-bending aliens or ray guns to tell a fantastic story. Sure, Prospect could be told in modern times and/or it’s derived from the California/Yukon gold rushes. The Sci-Fi spin throws in elements unique to it: the toxic air and getting a ride off the “green moon” which is on par with the Apollo moon landers. Pedro Pascal (now known as the Mandalorian and Max Lord in the delayed Wonder Woman 1984) was amazing as Ezra. I didn’t recognize him at all. Then again, he wears a helmet in the Star Wars show and I’ve never watched his previous work beyond The Kingsman sequel.

If you’re a fan of low-tech Sci-Fi and/or the game Traveller, better yet, other films like Outland, Alien and The Martian you will enjoy this.

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Agamemnon inherited Miette’s behavior

Posted on April 5, 2020 by Steve

One endearing thing my beloved Miette would do is hop into the shelves of my armoire when I was folding laundry. She’d poke around, mew and jump out before I closed the doors. Agamemnon immediately this upon his first opportunity. I managed to catch this while he was in a chatty mood. I thought this would cheer people up too.

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