Fifty years of the Lenten Special!

Posted on March 12, 2020 by Steve

The horrific sandwich has been around longer but the mint-flavored shake Ray Kroc OK’d to attract Irish customers was introduced in 1970! Being an anniversary, even southern McDonald’s are more likely to carry it. Normally, I’m biased toward Sonic because shakes are in their DNA and Jack in the Box, Mickey D’s and Burger King will often tell you…uhhh, the machine is broken or it’s being cleaned right now.

Given the celebration, maybe the people at the top cracked the whip on their franchises to cut that crap out, move some Shamrock Shakes!

Despite its weird minty flavor…

Wait! What else can you go with green on? Lime? Eww! Pistachio? Nah! After them, your headed toward green vegetables since grape is purple or clear.

Back to the shake.

Having a shake of any flavor to wash down a mediocre fish sandwich during Lent was a victory! It compensated for the crappy main course before kicking off the weekend while attending parochial school in the Seventies. My fellow Midwesterners know what I’m talking about. Options were limited in my mid-sized homes of Champaign-Urbana or Springfield. Red Lobster was only for special occasions and our parents just weren’t up for Howard Johnson’s all-you-can-eat clams every Friday. Good luck getting kids to eat Long John Silver’s fish.

McDonald’s is really campaigning hard this Spring too. Their ads plugging two sandwiches for five bucks comes up frequently on Hulu. Half the time it’s in Spanish which is a puzzling mystery.

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Refinancing is a go! F-I-N-A-L-L-Y!

Posted on March 11, 2020 by Steve

After all the pins and needles involving my house’s foundation repair being a condition to getting the mortgage refinanced (in case you forgot, when divorcing, you have to do this to get the other person off the debt), followed by a key person NOT being in on Monday…I received the e-mail very late yesterday saying it’s all going forward.

Next up, waiting for the time, date and place to sign everything. Then figure out how the money will be distributed to pay off the old mortgage, give Somara a portion and the rest going to me to regain all the breathing room I lost in the divorce.

I can actually start looking at my repair list seriously too!

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Some cat tranquility for our crazy world

Posted on March 11, 2020 by Steve

A rare moment in which Isis and Aggie are neither grooming followed by swatting each other on the couch. It was adorable to see them curled up…they’re not quite to the point of teaming up to stay warm but baby steps with these too. I think the problems lie in Isis being small for her age (~10) and Aggie just being big, dumb and young (~2) so he doesn’t know his own strength and/or how to be a cat. He now behaves as if he’s a puppy around me, all this separation anxiety he projects.

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Count Rugan is probably behind DST

Posted on March 10, 2020 by Steve

Two days in and I’m still exhausted but thanks to coronavirus, getting rid of this stupid, agricultural society remnant will have to wait. Thanks to Debbie for the gag.

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Watch for snakes!

Posted on March 9, 2020 by Steve

There’s never anyway to avoid the dangers of snakes as presented in Egah!

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The foundation repair is done!!!

Posted on March 7, 2020 by Steve

I just wish it didn’t look like there are corpses buried in the backyard now. My level of stress has lowered a tad because this was the last barrier to having my house refinanced while protecting its future from further decline (or sinking). The company’s owner said they couldn’t go any deeper too, they hit bedrock (twitch! twitch!). I’m also grateful the final price tag remained within the quote, $1800. Now some of you are going, “OUCH!” Nah! I’ll take it. In Central Texas, foundation repairs can run ten to a hundred times higher thanks to our horrible soil situation.

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SXSW 2020 is cancelled!!

Posted on March 6, 2020 by Steve

My bitching about SXSW is nothing new but its cancellation this Spring is a dream come true! We taxpaying, non-asshole residents get to enjoy our city for a little while longer.

The writing was on the wall anyway. Nazi-sympathizer Jack Dorsey bailed, Apple wasn’t coming to show off new TV shows and I think some other major tech players withdrew. It’s a shame for all the bands but the days of SXSW being the gathering to get them discovered by a major record label ended over 20 years ago.

Local businesses may suffer and I can sympathize only a little. Firstly, you need a better plan than putting too many eggs in the SXSW basket, similar to all the corporations that got into bed with the Chinese Autocracy (which is out to screw the West back for the 19th Century). Secondly, I have lived here for 26 years. I don’t appreciate being gouged and/or told to piss off in order to impress industry people who still consider Austin “fly-over country.” An example, the world premiere of Jordan Peele’s Us was at SXSW a couple years back and it was closed to the public, only Hollywood bigshots were allowed. If that was the plan, go back to LA, don’t use Austin.

My adopted home is more resilient than it used to be, which is why I’m not worried in the long run. I think the last recession which really hit us in the gut super hard was the Reagan-Bush fallout. After 1993, everybody and their uncle have been gobbling up all the decent real estate.

Will this huge demonstration of Orange Foolius and the Trumpkins failing at a crisis it can’t lie its way out of cascade into other upcoming events I do enjoy? Brian Posehn at Cap City this late March? Moontower Comedy Fest in April? Chupacabracon VII in May? I’m not sure. If the coronavirus does, I will have to accept public safety over my personal desires. Better safe than sorry and given how much the Right defunded Science for Big Jesus, cutting back on large gatherings is about the only thing Liberal enclaves have left to fight this.

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Foundation work day two (or three)

Posted on March 5, 2020 by Steve

With the rain passing over Austin and everything clearing/drying up, the next stage in shoring things up took place. Hydraulic devices pushed up the foundation to get it to the proper level. Then concrete cylinders were inserted to make it permanent.

I suspect there will be more cylinders because those hydraulic thingamabobs appear very expensive plus the goop inside will wear out.

Fingers crossed tomorrow is the end of this and how much I pay stays within the ballpark I was quoted.

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The Dems are circling around a guaranteed loser

Posted on March 4, 2020 by Steve

Plus rumors continue to abound about Bloomberg and Warren dropping out. One thing I know for certain, all the Warren diehards (who are assholes that just screech because many were Bilary supporters) will blame those of us backing Sanders. I make no apologies for not supporting a lukewarm progressive, regardless of her “I have a plan for that” crap.

Meanwhile, the Democratic Establishment aka the DLC probably bribed the other worthless Centrists with cabinet spots to clear the way for Sen. Foot-in-Mouth. Orange Foolius may rant, make no sense but the favored candidate has numerous weaknesses the GOP will attack and succeed on. Plagiarism, falsehoods and a very non-progressive record going back to the Seventies. The nepotism involving his junkie son Hunter will be nothing compared to what the dirty tricks team the GOP has.

Again, the limousine liberals I deal with daily, namely one living in Switzerland; I will be to blame because I didn’t join them in marching off the cliff for their losing candidate. The same type of Democrat who specializes in losing but remains extremely wealthy. Trust me, Bilary isn’t hurting as she goes on her book tour (written by someone else) bitching and moaning about how she should be president and it’s everybody’s fault but hers.

Another brought up the musty old chestnut on why I must support the Republican Lite candidate. “Now is not the time for [insert the issue].”

My rebuttal goes like so. That line of crap has been used since the 1800s. It was not the time to address…

  • Slavery
  • Civil Rights
  • Womens Suffrage
  • The Environment (we’re out of road now)
  • Gay/Trans Rights
  • The Erosion of Labor Rights
  • The Widening Wealth Gap

Do you know who else called bullshit on that litany. AOC! She defeated a 10-term, do-nothing Democratic Pelosi underling asshole whose children attend private school in the DC area. He was quite a “man of the people.” More like a man of K Street.

As Truman said:

Given the choice between a Republican and someone who acts like a Republican, people will vote for the real Republican all the time.

I’ve heard the counters about Sanders. Sure. I’m not thrilled about his age. I’m not onboard with all his positions. He is an old Boomer Lefty. At least he’s pushing for a better tomorrow and not Biden’s new slogan…

NO WE CAN’T.

It’s going to be a nasty while boring convention.

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No progress on the foundation today due to rain

Posted on March 4, 2020 by Steve

Thankfully not much got into the holes they dug out yesterday. The rain just reminds me that I need to install gutters so I will not be undergoing this horrible mess again.

I still remain stressed out though as this getting completed will get the next stage done.

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The Invisible Man (2020): Worth Seeing

Posted on March 3, 2020 by Steve

Another reason why I’m glad Universal’s Dark Universe (aka, “re-imagining” their monster properties) crashed harder than Windows CE. Their 1999 take on The Mummy was still good. It didn’t need Tom Cruise repeating his Mission: Impossible crap and then meeting Mr. Hyde to set up another craptacular film like Justice League. There were plans to piss away the GDP of Belize to have Johnny Depp lead before they remade this iconic HG Wells tale with Elisabeth Moss for a fraction while getting ten times the fright.

Instead of the story focusing on a person gaining invisibility and it leading them to go insane and/or prove they do immoral acts; Cecilia is the focus as a woman in an abusive marriage. During the first act, you see her executing her plan to escape. It’s pretty thorough: a duffel bag with her passport, cash, etc. To be super safe, Cecilia then hides out at a police man’s house (I guess a friend of a friend) because the abuser knows all about her family, and he’s rich. The horrors Adrian inflicted are so traumatic, she still won’t go to the front door after two weeks. Then Cecilia’s sister drops by to give the news. Adrian committed suicide, the nightmare is over.

After a few days, Cecilia begins to sense a presence yet no one believes her nor can she produce evidence despite Adrian being a world-renowned expert on optics. It seems to be implied that he was researching the means to improve stealth tech and/or being invisible to the naked eye, cameras, proximity sensors, etc.

Is Cecilia right or is she delusional from the PTSD Adrian’s obsession to control every aspect of her life?

At this point, see the movie  to find out! Given these trying times, pay the money to download it or wait for theaters to re-open. Definitely put it on your watch list on the first streaming service to carry it. I totally enjoyed this take on 100-year-old story. Invisible mixes the #metoo zeitgeist of today and gets your heart racing.

Alamo Extras: Mainly trailers for different iterations of The Invisible Man; the original UK version, Memoirs of an Invisible Man starring the unfunny Chevy Chase ; Abbott & Costello meeting him; a direct-to-video adventures of The Invisible Mom comedy (very Eighties or Ninties, all bad); commercials featuring the Invisible Man such as underwear and Scotch Tape; lastly, a short-lived 1982 sitcom involving an Invisible Woman with Bob Denver as her friend applying gallons of foundation to make her tangible.

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Foundation repair begun

Posted on March 3, 2020 by Steve

The process of shoring up my house’s foundation got underway a day early due to rain being in the forecast. This was done just by one person (I think) using a shovel and something that sounded like a jackhammer. The holes are all along the back with one on the side.

It’s a bit hard to see how deep the holes actually go but it’s around four feet. The first few inches are easy here. What takes forever is everything else below: clay and limestone fragments. They did  faster work than when Somara and I planted a 20-gallon tree in the front yard.

I hope it doesn’t rain tomorrow, I want to get this crap over with.

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RIP James Lipton

Posted on March 2, 2020 by Steve

For starters, wow, he was much older than I expected so a big round of applause for James taking good care of himself!

Like most people, he came to my attention through the Will Ferrel skit on SNL. James loved it and he also played himself interviewing Robert Evans on an episode of The Simpsons, it’s the one when Homer has insomnia over his mortality. The host then returned the favor by creating one of the most popular episodes his show had…the principle cast of The Simpsons! All the details regarding what was going on behind the scenes is explained on the commentaries via the DVDs because Al Jean had James on. I wish I could remember which episode right now. It’s before season 18. 

As for the serious elements of when James had actual guests on, not Charles Nelson Reilly (Alec Baldwin) or Toby Maguire (Elijah Wood), it could be insightful, interesting but to me, it depends upon the guest. Most actors that have mastered the craft make you want to vomit when they blather on about their favorite topic…themselves.

Still, thanks for everything James. You provided the world a great inside joke and I would go with your interview style over Barbara Walters any day!

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Rot in Hell Jack Welch

Posted on March 2, 2020 by Steve

The former CEO of General Electric who made Kapitalism a million times worse finally croaked. What a piece of shit he was too. Thanks to him, the majority of corporations are now managed according to his greedy mindset.

  • The shareholders come first.
  • Employees are a pain in the ass so they’re dispensable.
  • Customers are also a pain in the ass.
  • With those three rules in place, all profit flows up to the shareholders.

Thousands lost their livelihoods via his greedy whims and millions more have suffered as others have followed his example.

So whenever a right-winger goes on about how many have suffered at the hands of Communism, just remember Welchism, a subgroup of Kapitalism has done its fair share.

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Happy Texas Independence Day 2020!

Posted on March 2, 2020 by Steve

I can never remember if state government offices are closed today. Might as well be, have a nice three-day weekend, get some errands completed!

I’m sure the morons who promote Texas seceding get some electrons to waste via the SCLM, especially when professional morons like Gov. Goodhair and Gov. Shitbag make the empty threat. The truth is, despite Texas being the only Red state which pays more than it receives in taxes to subsidize its deadbeat relatives known as the Deep South, this state wouldn’t last very long as an independent country. To be fair, neither would California. The Federal government isn’t keen on surrendering active military bases as Fort Sumter proved in Charleston in 1861. The hands-off state legislature is too stingy to finance the infrastructure we need as the population grows. Besides, with the upcoming gain in House seats, the Confederate Party (known as the GOP elsewhere) is looking forward to screwing up the government more by installing additional assholes in the Louis Gohmert, John Carter and Lamar Smith mold. My douchenozzle, Bill Flores, is retiring to become a professional K Street Whore while he can.

History is also against independence. Last time, the Republic hung on for nine years before joining the US. Otherwise, Mexico had a good chance at winning the rematch and the settlers had difficulty fighting the Comanche Nation in the northern part.

It remains a cool little holiday and piece of trivia. My old home, Illinois, doesn’t do squat about when it joined the US or somebody decided to give it the French-sounding name. We do have something better, Abraham Lincoln’s birthday, the guy who was in charge of kicking the Confederacy’s collective ass. Currently, the former Confederate states and their sympathizers need another dose of whoop ass given their Stalinesque revisions.

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