D&D joke, January 2020 edition

The joke in this story is universal on the surface because everybody knows how a screw you gag works or the M Night Shama-lamma twist. Go ahead, read it first before continuing.

I think the closest mainstream example to the link would be the first act of Pscyho. You get all invested in Janet Leigh’s character and story…then she’s stabbed to death in the shower by Norman Bates as the movie is really about him.

In the D&D world, this enthusiastic player is an infrequent nuisance. They write an overabundance of material which practically hijacks the game into it being all about their character; the other players and the Dungeonmaster (part referee, part movie director) be damned. It’s something in my hobby called Central Character Syndrome. It works fine for a novel, TV show or movie but D&D is an ensemble game. Not every week focused on Captain Picard’s problems.

This also reminded me of an incident at the local gaming convention a couple years ago. I chose to play in a superhero game and the character provided to me came with a novella. It was exhausting to read for a three-hour session. Even proponents of Strasberg Method Acting would’ve told this host to dial it back.

What can you do? Some people have imaginations they gotta’ turn loose. The key is to gain some compromise which is an art with some D&D players.

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RIP Syd Mead

Sci-Fi fans will know Syd’s name alongside Ralph McQuarrie. I think Syd was more of a Futurist though since movie producers hired him to estimate what the designs would be like in the Near-Future flicks he did: Blade RunnerAlien, Star Trek: The Motion Picture, TRON, Elysium and Tomorrowland. Ahhh, just a moment, he was an industrial designer first. That would makes sense since he had Toyota and US Steel as clients.

No matter. He definitely gave those films a realistic look via what Decker or Flynn were using, gadgets which appeared practical and less of a McGuffin or something super implausible.

Thanks for all those awesome things you designed Syd. The light cycles in TRON, the replicant detector in Blade Runner and the lived-in universe of the Alien franchise.

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RIP Jack Sheldon

The most recognizable singing voice on Schoolhouse Rock (“I’m Just a Bill,” “Conjunction Junction”) passed away before 2019 ended. Jack even provided Bill’s voice for The Simpsons in what was one of their best ever retro jokes…

He also contributed a composite Schoolhouse Rock character for an episode of Johnny Bravo, which was written by Seth McFarlane years before he left to create Family Guy.

What I learned about Jack while writing this was that he was Merv Griffin’s sidekick/band leader for 16 years, a contemporary and good friend of Chet Baker and an actor; he had his own sitcom Run, Buddy, Run in the Sixties and was in Sally Field’s The Girl with Something Extra in the Seventies. Heck, I totally didn’t notice him on Dragnet, Gilligan’s Island, Petticoat Junction and ready…Star Trek:Next Generation; it was 11001001 and he’s the piano player while Riker is in a holodeck simulation of a New Orleans jazz bar. Odd choice since the trumpet was Jack’s speciality when he wasn’t singing.

Thank you for everything you did Jack! Especially drumming all the rote education stuff during Saturday morning cartoons on ABC. You were a true Renaissance Man.

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Meet Shea

The new year and decade are off to a great start as I announce the official introduction of Shea as my girlfriend. Shea’s name is pronounced “SHAY,” like the stadium that hosted the NY Mets for 24 years or where the big 1965 Beatles concert happened. Above is a picture of our first Stars game about a week ago. I loaned her one of my jerseys since it’s the best thing to wear to stay warm…and look stylish. I tell you, ladies, especially this one, look better in hockey and football jerseys than us dudes. I’ll have to investigate baseball despite the sport being dull and basketball is more designed for function than appearance.

Shea is awesome in numerous ways, just too many to list and probably too personal to go on about here. Let’s cut to the chase though, Shea bring me joy on numerous levels and most importantly, it was a happy accident or what she calls kismet. Neither of us expected our mutual crush on each other would begin by just attending a party together with an agreement to go as newly formed friends via a shared friend.

More cool photos will follow because Shea shares my love of dressing up (formal affairs) for also love the movie responsible to get me to grow the hell up with my wardrobe, Jon Favreau and Vince Vaughn’s sleeper, cult hit Swingers.

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Farewell 2019, don’t let the door hit you on the ass

Hell, I feel the same way about this decade. Sure, Orange Foolius only ruined it for three out of ten years but the Great Equivocator or Black Nixon did a shitty job during the previous seven too. In many ways, he, Bilary and Slick Willie were the NeoLiberal architects to let this happen. It’s why I am in Bernie’s camp, I don’t want a 78-year-old man to be president, nor do I think he has a snowball’s chance in hell given America’s ingrained racism and irrational fear of anything resembling Socialism. I back him to push the Democrats back to being the Center-Left party, not the Center-Right party it became in the Nineties.

On a personal note, this year was off to a terrible start. My life was a mess personally at home and work felt like I was on the rocks.

Work recovered. Home improved but the cracks kept pushing through every time I tried to shake this off: my teeth, Vixen’s totaling, fridge died…then the divorce happened.

Now I’m doing way better and I hope to share why in 2020.

HAPPY NEW YEAR! MAY THESE ROARING TWENTIES GO MUCH BETTER.

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Breakfast with my friends from Big D!

Ami brought the boys with her for a quick visit to see some family members based in Austin. Meanwhile, they all made time to have IHOP with me and I gave the boys LEGOs! Alex (the smiling guy in the middle) is doing great! Ami said he’s making progress in school which makes me thrilled.

Hope to see them again in the near future. Maybe I will be in the Big D area instead!

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Belated Xmas card from the Eighties

Pretty good PhotoShop work…way better than mine but the lighting is a tad off when you compare all three of their skin tones. It’s also odd that they didn’t go with the more neutral, universal “Holiday Wishes” given that the parents are part Jewish.

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Scout, a new cat friend I’ve made

Some friends of mine are away for the Holiday Break and I agreed to catsit their funny, lively queen of the house…Scout. She’s a firecracker. However, being crazy for cats, I give her attention galore while I’m in to tackle her food, water and litter. Plus, part of the gig is playing fetch with her. Well, she chases the object…like all cats. I can’t recall any felines who returned the object. The other upside is her scent doesn’t make my cats jealous.

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Happy Boxing Day!

Also known as the second day of Christmas with that song Bob & Doug McKenzie sang. The always hilarious comedian George Wallace made a great joke/shoutout on Twitter too:

Shout out to the six geese a layin’, makin’ sweet bird love and whatnot.
– George Wallace

I hope Santa and all the other gift-bearing figures have been good to you. Hanukkah overlaps with Christmas time which is great. Nobody should feel left out in the joy and celebrating.

Me? Well, I either take advantage of the extra (paid) vacation days I receive from my employer’s shut-down period or I work to earn the additional money. Never feel sorry for me when I work between Christmas Eve to New Year’s Day. Firstly, Apple covers our lunch on the official holidays (often good stuff…no wait, I can’t think of it ever being bad). Secondly, even during my front-line days, this time of year rules for the volume is lower with everybody around the world relaxing, plus the dough I make pays off all the nice things I try to give people, and then some.

Santa gave me an early present anyway, the company of a nice person who I’m sharing the things I enjoy with. Better yet, she has agreed to ring in the new year and decade with me. I don’t want to jinx matters by revealing the lady’s name until later so stay tuned.

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Star Wars “fixes” an old Christmas song

Just in time to celebrate The Rise of Skywalker, a new friend I made online shared this goofy take on the song people are getting their underpants in a knot over. Last time I checked the lyrics, the male voice isn’t sneaking in a roofie on the lady.

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More proof demonstrating Gritty’s awesomeness! 12/19 edition

A bitchin’ freebie at Waterloo Records promoting the Ramoms, a silly band using that play on words bit, promoting their Philly fandom and proving how Gritty is the best mascot in the NHL! I found other songs covered by the Ramoms and they sometimes team up with their male counterpart, Dad Brains.

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I need this for my car!

Sadly, this quote and its attribution are very, very true. Quick confession about me and cars. When I was a little kid, I loved Hot Wheels and Matchbox toy cars like all my age in the Seventies. I wanted a Formula One driver. I thought racing, even stock cars, was awesome. Pretty standard American boy. I’m confident if Cars (one of Pixar’s worst movies) came out in 1976, I would’ve been over the moon.

Then gas prices shot up around 1978-79.

I oddly became more practical regarding cars. I kid you not. I remember showing my parents a VW print ad, urging them to consider buying a Rabbit because it got close to 50 miles per gallon on the highway. Dad quickly deflated my “research” by explaining how the Rabbit was too small for our needs, used diesel fuel (not easily available in the Midwest then) and utilized a stick shift, something Mom was uncomfortable driving. However, my preference for good mileage stuck. It didn’t mean was opposed to owning a bitchin’ European sports car…until I got to college.

So you could say the Prius is my achievable dream come true in the car section with the scorecard of lifetime goals. Maybe Teslas and their cousins will come down to affordable levels before I die but they’re not any good on the highway trips between here and Big D or Houston. I’m in the camp promoting hydrogen.

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Some stuff to make Sean Connery calm down

Let’s see if this powder sprinkled on to Sean Connery’s dry food helps lower his stress and anxiety with being my kitty. The stuff comes in gel cap form so fat chance he’d swallow it willingly; anyone with a cat knows getting them to take a pill in any incarnation is impossible without metal gauntlets. The vet said to try wet food but Sean doesn’t care for anything from a can. I’ll know later today when I check in on him if he ate this or demonstrates how cunning he is…does he know how to eat around the powder.

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My new cat “Sean Connery” making biscuits

Today I took my new kitty, “Sean Connery” (it’s his working name until I post a poll which is another story on why not yet), to my vet to get his file started, make sure he’s still OK and find a solution to his anxiety. This poor guy has spent his initial time hiding because he’s mysteriously stressed out and frightened. The other, older, sweetheart cat Isis doesn’t even bother him nor seeks him out. However, I wish cats could talk to some extent. I’d ask Isis to talk to “Sean” and let him know, hey, you’re in paradise! Picture it now, Isis talking, saying, “Dude. It’s great here! There’s plenty of food, water, windows to stare out of and comfortable places to sleep. Get this part. The giant, noisy ape cleans up your poop!”

Upon returning to the house, “Sean” fled back to my bed’s underside. He cries and growls less. Even eats the treats I send. They also clipped his nails so he’ll do less damage when I try to retrieve him.

The campaign to win his trust will continue but now I have cat xanax to lessen whatever the hell is bothering him.

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LEGO Steve & Kathy attended Rise of Skywalker in costume

They chose to go with characters from the hit Disney+ show The Mandolorian. Obviously Kathy is the star character while Steve is Cara Dune, a former Rebel soldier and turned ally to the star. Thanks to a special Hidden Side figure, I found bare arms that are yellow to keep it accurate. The red protocol droid is hanging out in case translations are needed with any other Baby Yodas.

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