Finished cat sitting for “invisible” cats

Of all the cat sitting gigs I’ve done, this recent one for my friend/co-worker Ayako has been the easiest and the biggest bummer because neither animal cares for anybody other than Ayako. I mean even the feistiest cat I’ve met will eventually come around to me, not these two. The bigger kitty I’d often encounter in the living room as he probably waited for me to leave after refreshing the food and water. The other remained hidden yet I did spot him once during a hunt I undertook to make sure he was alive.

I’m glad my friend’s trip went well and everyone had a good time. I have a feeling the cats will be smothering Ayako with affection as they ask in their own way, “Where the hell have you been?”

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Two of my latest exercise records achieved today

You’re in luck, as the title says, two of them happened in one day so you don’t have to be bored by a pair of entries!

  • I have cycled over 1500 miles this year. It not quite as impressive as how far I used to be able to run on a treadmill but I’ll take what I can get.
  • I tied my longest unofficial exercise streak of 70 days. The moniker “unofficial” is utilized because it came from my nine-year-old spreadsheet, not the Apple Activity app on my Watch.

Onward to 100 days and 2000 miles!

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Hellboy (reboot): Don’t Bother

Another reboot stink burger from the morons who thought there was a way resurrect this property after two previous, unimpressive duds from a director who went on to do much better work I loved (Pacific Rim readily comes to mind). I mean Del Toro beat incredible odds by winning an Oscar® for a monster-love story which is best described as Grinding Nemo. With Hellboy, he knew to walk away when the public would never get into Mike Mignola’s creation; it’s pretty cool as a comic book, decent as animation and looks fantastic movie-wise. No one can translate it to film with an equally exciting story in my opinion; I’ve provided my review from 2004 at the end.

I did have some hope with this movie when David Harbour was cast to play the title character. However, the whole flick goes down the crapper within the first ten minutes as the BPRD is now a UK organization, all the Allied heroes who witnessed Hellboy’s birth are semi-immortal, all the companions are different and one is completely lame. Here comes the spoiler which I have no trouble revealing and I’m doing anyone reading this a favor…he saves the world due to be a descendent of King Arthur on his mother’s side. Why does it matter? Something to do with Excalibur being needed to slay the villainess Nimue the Blood Queen, an under utilized Milla Jovovich. I was so bored watching this, I fell asleep around the second to third act.

Don’t rent this, if it’s still a thing. Don’t bother putting it on your watch list via streaming. Let it die in order to teach the schmucks responsible a lesson. When it turns up to be shown ad nauseum on Spike, TNT, FX and SyFy, change the channel immediately! We saw this at our local discount theater and a felt ripped off.

Now I would like to conclude with what I thought of the 2004 version. My dislike of it hasn’t changed. I did modify my past writing for grammar, clarity and spelling.

Hellboy: This is another glaring example of Hollywood just grabbing a comic-book property without thinking it all the way through. The executives who approved this just sat there drooling over Spider-Man‘s numbers not knowing that Hellboy is slightly more famous than Tank Girl and Judge Dredd. Sadly this movie’s casting was the greatest since The Avengers (Steed & Peel, not Marvel) but it also shared the latter’s feeble plot and poor execution. Ron Perlman is great as Hellboy yet he is just chewing scenery alongside a very skilled John Hurt and Jeffrey Tambor. Everbody else’s acting limps along as you wait for another action scene to end the boredom. The fight scenes are just as contrived as the last pair of Matrix movies too. To paraphrase Scott Kurtz’s (of the online PvP comic fame) complaint, the brawls lacked urgency or a sense of danger. Hellboy struggling against the evasive monster came across as a device to keep the film going when the love triangle was putting everyone to sleep. My other complaint are the villains being the Nazis in 2004. Them being the heavies was recently ruined by their improper usage in The Sum of All Fears (set in contemporary times too) plus they have already been soundly trounced by the Blues Brothers, Mel Brooks and the von Trapp family. Most audiences don’t find them menacing anymore thanks to 19 Arabs killing almost as many people at Pearl Harbor. Hellboy is easily a Rental but with Blockbusters and Hollywoods slowly closing, you won’t be missing anything when this piece of smelly brimstone turns up on TNT’s doorstep.

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Now a mash-up of MST3K’s fave target & the Avengers

If you don’t get it right away, it’s OK, few people are genuine “Misties” (diehards of MST3K). What you’re seeing is Thanos: The Hands of Fate, a synthesis of the Marvel villain Thanos from the hit movies Infinity War and Endgame and a favorite target of Joel and the ‘Bots…Manos: The Hands of Fate, a “horror” movie so slow, so stupid and so poorly acted, it’s amazing MST3K could find anything genuinely funny and thoughtful.

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Avengers: Endgame: Must See

It’s safe to finally discuss Endgame since I think the Spider-Man: Far from Home trailer revealed a major spoiler. So far I have to say, it was quite a perfect, climatic ending to a string of 20-plus movies spanning over 11 years; even bigger than dare I say The Return of the King‘s final battle to save Middle Earth.

In many ways, I wonder why I should bother to post a review, given the humongous box office this film has made, the bigger question would be, who hasn’t seen it?

So I’ll skip the plot and focus on why Endgame was impressive.

Firstly, the logistics. I thought tying all the individual Avengers together to be the superhero team I grew up with (alongside the JLA, X-Men and Teen Titans) was short of a miracle. Tying all of the MCU together into one movie was colossal. The actors’ schedules were nothing; the special effects weren’t the problem especially in how easy it is to do the Hulk in his new form; it’s all the legal bullshit the producers, directors and writers overcame. Despite the Marvel Studio owning all the characters, one has to deal with all the mumbo jumbo involving “intellectual property.” Hell, the Star Trek franchises can’t easily have various characters or certain alien species due to how things are tucked away in legalese silos. MCU found a way to get it to happen and it makes the crucial battle between the forces of good versus Thanos all the more incredible because this level of match up only occurs in comic books, maybe a novel and sometimes in animation. It’s a well-deserved landmark in a movie!

Secondly, the writers wisely went with a comic-book style solution to undo what Thanos did with his Infinity Gauntlet and again, got the powers-that-be to let the filmmakers do it. All the crossovers between characters has been a hallmark of Marvel Comics due its universe being a character in its own right; other franchises didn’t adopt nor allow such a thing (outside of the fans) until years later (Star Trek, Star Wars).

Thirdly and this is how MCU clobbers the majority of DC’s gloomy, by-the-numbers crap. Endgame integrated humorous elements without any of them feeling forced. Sure Thanos killing half the universe is pretty heavy but how the surviving Avengers, Guardians and allies fight back takes breaks to crack a genuine laugh.

Now will come the nagging question. After being spoiled for 11 years in a row with these flicks and some ending with so-and-so will return after their first or second movie, what is the next phase for MCU? A huge dilemma involves many actors’ contracts ending alongside the fate no one can avoid, aging. Characters dying has never been an obstacle in comic books (e.g. Jean Grey) yet Hollywood loves to reboot while I have no quibble with another person taking over the role as the stories go forward in time. It worked with James Bond. I’m fine with the Avengers being made up of the so-called lesser members and maybe the public will too. Guardians of the Galaxy was an obscure comic title and became a surprise hit with the general public, why not an Avengers team composed of Falcon/Captain America, Scarlet Witch, Ant Man, Wasp, War Machine and Captain Marvel? The original comic book had a revolving door of membership; the founding team members left by issue #16, leaving Captain America to recruit Quicksilver, Scarlet Witch and Hawkeye.

On to Spider-Man: Far from Home and maybe there will be a trailer on what Phase “Next” entails because I’m sure I will be jonsin’ for more MCU action in 2020.

Alamo Extras: Thanos v. Darkseid with Deadpool cartoon (not very interesting); MCU recaps throughout, starting with 2008’s Iron Man to 2018’s Avengers: Infinity War; a short about Jack Kirby including interviews from Stan Lee, Neil Gaiman and Taika Waititi; a mildly funny rap song pieced together from various MCU film clips; Montage of various people expressing their grief over who was eliminated by “The Snap.”

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1944: D-Day 75th Anniversary

On this day, thousands gave their lives on the beaches of Normandy and the fields of rural France to continue liberating Europe from the Nazis and their allies. I’m glad that NPR mentioned the other three code-named landing sites our European and Canadian allies stormed (Sword, Juno and Gold) besides the two America took (we all know Omaha and Utah by memory). It was a massive undertaking which succeeded despite some errors along the way; so STFU assholes who claim the “gubmint can’t do anythin’ right.” We were very lucky the Nazis were led by a psycho the generals weren’t allowed to rudely awaken during the initial invasion. Not like the enemy could do much. They were outnumbered, out supplied and the Soviets had been wearing them out from the East. People forget how WWII was a war of attrition, same for the American Civil War, there was little brilliance involved and when it did happen, it either prolonged or hastened the inevitable, depending upon which side you were on.

Today, America is represented by a disgraceful excuse for a human being. A draft-dodging, lying sack of shit who lacks any serious self-awareness on how much he has in common with the enemy my grandparents sacrificed (at home and in the fight) to utterly defeat. Now I’m not saying Trump = Hitler exactly, not a chance, Hitler didn’t hire a ghost writer for Mein Kampf  because Trump lacks the intelligence and doesn’t have as coherent an ideology. Trump has more in common with History’s more inept, bigoted and greedy kings, czars and emperors of Europe’s past. Thankfully the French remain grateful to the Americans, Brits, Canadians and others who gave their all to save them from Nazi occupation, not a moron whose daddy bought him a diploma.

It’s also disgusting to see the assholes on our own soil praising the Nazis, wishing for something as dystopian here. You see it in The Turner Diaries, Infowars and The Daily Stormer with their rhetoric of racial cleansing which will incorporate purging educated people, Atheists and anyone with a shred of empathy for someone who isn’t exactly like them. Lets not forget their whacky conspiracies, namely the current “Q-Anon.” Another internal threat is how the Nazis’ sick attitudes have infiltrated our police and armed forces. I wouldn’t be surprised my dumbass cousin Ron sides with them now. Our grandfather who fought the Imperial Japanese would be metaphorically spinning in his grave.

What America needs to take away from D-Day is how costly it is to remove a murderous regime when you let it get out of control and it can happen here. The difference next time might be the new Fascist power getting taken out by Chinese Communists or the Russian Oligarchy with its allies. I think the more Liberal-Socialist Democracies of the EU will wisely sit it out.

Should I live to see D-Day turn 100, I hope America is represented by someone worthy of representing us. Not a saber-rattling B-movie actor, not an alcoholic draft dodger, not a womanizing NeoLiberal and certainly not another narcissistic prick with a D+ GPA.

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Texas “Gubmint” decides to arm teachers as the solution

The hits just keep coming from the Texas Triumvirate of Tomfoolery. In the wake of the Santa Fe (‘burb of Houston) school shooting, the Republicans have decided that the solution of course is anything but stricter gun laws. Oh there’s money thrown at mental health even though open racism is a key requirement to being a Republican and special groups of people to identify those who are “at risk” to cause trouble. Translation, anyone who is browner than George Hamilton or calls out teachers promoting unsound bullshit such as creationism or Reagan’s economy. The classroom requiring a phone or form of electronic communication is rather stupid in an age of cell phones and Orwellian cameras everywhere. I guess it will help so the 911 recording will have the audio of people getting mowed down. Maybe the upside will be disproving fake martyrs dying for believing in divine skycake children a la Columbine.

However, I want to close with the piece de resistance. Gov. Shitbag signed a law making it legal for teachers to be packing. Riiiiight. Let’s just arm some of the lowest-paid and overworked employees in the country to oversee children and smart-ass teens. What’s more likely to happen is some smarmy, wealthy asshole kid getting plugged for reminding his stressed-out teacher how the F-350 his parents bought him is worth more than an educator’s average salary.

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1989: Tiananmen Square Massacre

I recall the horrible news that morning. While the US was sleeping, the Chinese Army and its hardliner masters decided they had had enough of the ongoing student protests, especially when the workers were joining in. Like all tyrannical regimes, they slaughtered their own citizens to “restore order.” How many? Estimates vary but given China’s opaque nature, we may never get an accurate number for at least another generation. Currently, survivors and experts put it in the thousands since the soldiers weren’t too particular about who they killed.

Of course there were the usual empty threats and criticisms from America, Europe and their allies. Western politicians just used rhetoric to appease the people at home, namely the batshit, hard right. They never took any substantive action because the West was busy getting into bed with the Chinese in exchange for “open markets.” When Clinton let the murderous Chinese government into WTO, the perpetrators knew they had won. NeoLiberal dupes stupidly believed in and/or proselytized the lie claiming how China embracing Capitalist economics would lead to the Communist government becoming more democratic.

Today, I would say the opposite is happening. China may be the second largest economy and will be the largest by the end of my lifetime yet Democracy is a sick joke, both here and in China. The current despot…I mean president had the two-term limit removed, they’re re-educating the ethnic Uighurs by the thousands in camps reminiscent of Stalin’s rule and we know all their tech is infected with spyware. On the last thing, Western corporations went ahead and let Huawei happen because their greedy idiocy trumped caution or re-investing in their real customers. What’s thousands of people slaughtered to get in the way of having access to a billion Wal-Mart shoppers? Did I forget to mention their utter disregard of copyrights, patents and trademarks?

Any reference to these events 30 years ago leads to arrest, expulsion or their sick rationalization on how the people accepted the grand bargain this resulted in. The State would finally let the citizenry have material crap like the West has in return for their unquestioning obedience…if they’d just forget this little dust up.

I know I never did and never will, unlike Third Way Democrats and most Republicans. It’s why we need to diversify our investments and get on a track with leading the world by setting a better example. Otherwise, Tiananmen Square Massacres are going to be the new normal thanks Oligarchy, Right-Wing Teabagger uprisings, Brexit madness and other Nationalist movements.

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RIP iTunes

It was a good run for software given how rapidly things evolve faster than human wisdom but the writing was on the wall since iOS had already separated iTunes’ functions into three apps.

My brother has a very intriguing and personal take on iTunes’ precursor from his time with Apple’s marketing department. Nice to know that the G4’s overhyped Alti-Vec was good for something while the processor’s clock speed stayed constipated at 500 Mhz.

For me, I instantly recognized iTunes’ original DNA the day Jobs announced it, Apple acquired and modified SoundJam. I knew because I bought a copy at NYC MacWorld in 2000, back in the day when ripping CDs was the primary source of MP3s for most people. The visualizer was impressive yet I wanted something better to convert my modest music collection (then) and transfer it to the used Diamond Rio 150 I bought from an ex-coworker. Before SoundJam, the Mac’s options were pretty clunky and very mediocre ports of Windows software, hence the Mac OS couldn’t polish a turd.

iTunes carried on as it accumulated more and more functions: a download store, podcast subscriptions, video playback, social media (died quickly) and streaming. I recall reading self-proclaimed pundits claiming the software had become something held together with duct tape and two-by-fours. If true, it ran pretty well compared to stuff I would agree on this criticism being more accurate with (MS Word in the Nineties readily comes to mind).

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Red-light cameras are now banned in Texas!

As the cliché goes, a broken clock is right twice a day is definitely true with the Texas Legislature (aka, the Laboratory for Bad Ideas), Governor Shitbag (Abbott) and Lt. Governor Red Skull (Patrick). I actually agreed on one law that was signed into effect today, HB 1631 puts an end to the asinine red-light camera scam. Firstly, it doesn’t prevent speeding, accidents or people gunning through a red. More often the opposite. Secondly, my bigger opposition to them was how the majority in Texas were operated by private corporations, ergo, no transparency on their cut for “helping” local governments, especially when the owners are Aussie shitbags (RedFlex), not Americans. Did I ever get a ticket for this? No. I do believe in the right to face one’s accuser even if it’s a traffic violation. Besides, many cities and their criminal partners shortened the yellow-light grace period to raise revenue. It’s little surprise to see Chicago’s ex-mayor-turned-professional-whore Rahm Emmanuel being involved.

Meanwhile, the cameras will remain until their contracts expire but I encourage my fellow Texans to tell those jurisdictions to “blow me!” since this is a non-criminal matter and can’t really be enforced.

To quote one of the dumbest governors of Texas, and there’s many, adios mofo!

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3000 miles!

Today I made it to the 3000-mile mark for my cumulative mileage on an exercycle! I should be closing in on 4000 somewhat faster as June is the month I implement a new strategy to achieve 100 miles per week, about 14.3 miles per day.

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Time to buy a new ‘fridge, ugh, boring!

After 18 years of solid service…and very little cleaning of its back coils, our first and very loyal refrigerator crapped out. When exactly? Not sure but I found out yesterday afternoon  when I got up from my anger nap (another story) to have a piece of leftover pizza. It was too warm and I didn’t experience the minor blast of cool air you get when opening the door. I inspected some other foods…yeah, it was either dead or defrosted, sadly it was the former.

It’s not the money, it’s just a dull thing to go shopping for and the type we like takes some additional effort. You’d think having the freezer part on the bottom would be standard given the laws of thermodynamics too.

If you have any suggestions on brands or models, feel free to tell me.

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Welcome to June, Greedo ordered first!

I decided to go with a joke picture I found on the Internet adding to the big stink that happened on Game of Thrones, an HBO water-cooler conversation maker I have never seen. I’m not against it, I just have way more other things to watch and I don’t find HBO compelling enough to pay for their streaming service. Westworld, when it’s close to done and I think there’s a couple other minor hits. Personally I think GoT‘s success comes from it having a soap opera’s turgid pace which tends to appeal to the masses.

Enjoy the great header for June of somebody in London forgetting to remove Greedo’s venti latté, extra hot with two sugars.

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May 2019 ends with perfect month #2, for the year!

The records I’m setting just keep on coming! I achieved my second perfect month this year, third ever and longest yet because it was my first 31-day month.

On to see if June is successful and I have my first back-to-back perfect months!

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RIP: Leon Redbone

The enigmatic singer with the panama hat, deep voice and thing for really old songs is gone. The media covered is real identity enough and career just fine.

I would prefer to write about all the joy he brought me as a kid and today as an adult in my love for musical acts which are also personas, e.g. The Aquabats as a superhero team on stage or Southern Culture on the Skids as a trio of backwoods hillbillies.

While I was growing up, Leon was more often seen in commercials like this memorable one below:

I did see him on The Tonight Show and SNL. What he did was intriguing despite my stronger bias for popular Rock and Pop tunes at the time. Leon just had this fascinating charisma and sincerity behind those “ancient” tunes he performed on stage with just his voice and a guitar.

In adulthood, I grew to appreciate his body of covers as a tribute to the rich body of Americana we’ve set aside.

Thanks Leon Redbone for what you did. You brought back some musical history without it being disposable kitsch or ironic. Let’s hope somebody at PledgeMusic puts together a proper, complete boxed set of your catalog with extras.

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