John Cougar Mellencamp would like this guy

Posted on February 28, 2019 by Steve

My co-worker/friend Nick S brought this story to my attention since we both live in Pflugerville. I have yet to see this place after I read the story. More power to the guy, he’s not really hurting anyone, besides, the neighbors should be happy if it lowers their property values given the screw job we’re getting from Travis County’s assessors lately. What he’s done is a standard Austin move but now that the actual city is unaffordable to anyone not making $250,000/year, I’m not surprised he came to the suburbs.

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Perfect Month and first competitive challenge successful

Posted on February 28, 2019 by Steve

About every February, my employer issues an exercise challenge but I think it started around the introduction of the Apple Watch. If I’m wrong, those in the know, tell me, unlike Faux News, I’m willing to admit errors.

Somara has usually nagged me to participate and I always pass because the Stand function on my Watch “broke” pretty early.

Remember, allegedly sitting is the new cancer! According to some.

This year I went forward with Somara’s wishes. Joined her team (you’re allowed up to four people), added my friend/co-worker Kathy R (the DJ) and another co-worker Kathy R said we could count on, Mikey; he likes to ride his bike. Other than winning a free watchband if I pulled off the bronze achievement, the whole team would be in a drawing if we all ended at some level. Obviously we failed. Somara and Kathy R got sick.

You can see I kicked ass. I managed to close the rings every single day and then some. Well, it’s a bit like bowling in the math wasn’t exact. Each closed ring was 12 points yet closing all three gave you another 12. Each team member doing the same closing gave you another four. Standing capped out at 14 (not very hard) and I can’t remember what movement and exercise stopped at, I wasn’t in any danger. My point is I exceeded the plan of bronze or silver and ended with gold! This meant I achieved an average of at least 80 points/day and I landed there one day before the challenge ended.

While I await a free watchband, I probably won’t use it, I’m taking March off with any new challenge. I’m still trying to pull off a third perfect month. Come April, I have set up a brand new, different challenge encompassing Somara, Kathy R and co-worker/friend Peter G (not to be confused with former co-worker/alienated friend Peter, now designated Peter J). Everybody will be their own team. More as it happens.

Now, onward to beating last year’s “record” of cycling 1190 miles and getting to Caracas well before my birthday.

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Jake Johannsen 2 (really 3)

Posted on February 27, 2019 by Steve

PUBLISHER’S NOTE: Jake came to Austin way back around August (8/25/18 to be exact) but my Brushes with Greatness got backed up for the remainder of the year due to it being an avalanche of awesomeness! He is worth mentioning because he’s damned funny.

Jake Johansen returned to give us a new set of material about life, his family and everything in general. Ask Somara about the T-Shirt Jake sells that I bought her! He continues to make me laugh but I learned this time he’s married to a New Zealander (aka a Kiwi). It’s a relatively small country so obviously he’s probably met Neil Finn and seen all the major The Lord of the Rings sites, I can’t recall if I asked. My favorite joke was ridiculing tantric sex when you’re middle-aged. It’s not entirely dirty, it focuses on how people’s priorities change as we age.

Should Jake come to town, see him. You won’t be disappointed. For cryin’ out loud, he made 46 appearances on David Letterman, that’s a good sign. Next up, I want to campaign Moontower Fest for inviting him in 2020.

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Ralph Breaks the Internet: Streaming

Posted on February 26, 2019 by Steve

Another movie that didn’t really need a sequel yet it turned out decently but it wasn’t necessarily with all the expense of going to a movie theater. My short version of Ralph 2. Initially I wasn’t remotely interested because the trailers made Ralph 2 appear to be 90 minutes of free advertising for all the ubiquitous Internet corporations destroying the world. Plus you know Disney is going to plug all their properties…they forked over billions to acquire Pixar, Marvel and Star Wars for it was cheaper than creating something original, ergo you can’t look away or they’ll gobble up something else you love!

The plot? The steering wheel on Sugar Rush is accidentally broken by a kid and the cost to replace the part is worth more than the entire game. Since Mr. Litwak can’t afford this, he unplugs the game with a plan to sell it for scrap. As you may recall from the original Ralph, all the games’ residents can leave to visit other cabinets via the surge protector so Sugar has a mass exodus to prevent their deletion. Now Princess Vanellope and her fellow racers are homeless. Thanks to Mr. Litwak installing a Wi-Fi router, Vanellope and Ralph decide to venture out to the Internet to find a new steering wheel. The trailer has covered the rest: they meet Disney princesses via Buzzed quizzes, a search engine with OCD and try to not get killed in a Grand Theft Auto/Fortnite-esque game.

Is it funny? A couple times and only through its few cameos, one is pretty specific, another is obvious. Is it entertaining? Not really, but I do take into consideration what I do for a living…working on computers (99% of the time Apple stuff) and this requires Internet interaction. I imagine the experience would be similar to someone who is a sous chef watching a movie about the trials and tribulations of a gourmet restaurant. Kids will enjoy it because it’s fast, colorful and filled with YouTube parodies they may not be tired of entirely. Ralph 2 will keep children pacified on a long car rid for about an hour.

Sit through the credits, there is a worthwhile nod to an exhausted joke.

Alamo Extras: A Willie Whopper cartoon of an air race, winner gets a kiss from Amelia Ear-Heart; Commercials for Golfland’s Arcade in CT, the Star Wars arcade game for Atari circa 1984, Ross Puff candy and the Power Shifters toys; Silent movie of a fantasy car chase; Kid commercial in some European language with girls dancing around; a dog jug band; a band called Mini-Van Highway playing music via their PCs; the Imagine Dragons music video for this movie (it’s not bad unlike their hits); UK Newsreel showing a toffee factory; Trailers for a terrible Hansel & Gretel stop-motion film and one my faves from 1982, TRON; lastly, a painful infomercial starring “The Techno Set” showing you how to get on the Internet in the early-to-mid Nineties, I am grateful how easy it is today.

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RIP Mark Hollis

Posted on February 26, 2019 by Steve

When I saw the story via the Guardian, I was bummed because Mark Hollis was a name I hadn’t heard in a long time. As much as I dug Talk Talk, I never remembered the individual band members but their first two albums were part of my personal soundtrack, especially in the Eighties. My friend Mark (Mark M) is a bigger fan and is more familiar with their post It’s My Life (1984) material which I’ve heard is really great (note to self, hunt down last three Talk Talk albums). Anyway, Hollis had a very distinctive voice and its emotional resonance is why the songs “The Party’s Over,” “It’s So Serious,” “Talk Talk,” “It’s My Life” and “Life Is What You Make It” stand out. Thankfully, No Doubt failed to completely ruin his legacy with their mediocre cover of “It’s My Life” over a decade ago; Gwen Stefani’s voice has potential but she chose to be a poor-man’s Madonna with her boring solo crap.

Check out the article. Mark Hollis had numerous fans in odd places and while I was channel surfing on my car radio, I caught the tail end of Sound Opinions paying their respects. One of the Chicago blowhards mentioned how Wayne Coyne of the Flaming Lips was a huge fan. I guess after Talk Talk broke up around the early Nineties, Mark became a favorite amongst writers and musicians as the general public forgot him.

Thanks for everything Mark. Your hit “It’s My Life” arrived at the right time in my personal story. I was 15 going on 16 and filled with anger, angst, whatever due to our move from a happening place to the dying Midwest. I recall it was also used in the semi-Fantasy movie Firstborn in which a teen boy beats the crap out of Peter Weller for being abusive to his divorced mother.

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Avast me hearties! It’s the Fallen Star!

Posted on February 25, 2019 by Steve

All assembled with its two masts held down by magnets.

The latest miniature wonders made by WizK!ds have blown me away, or as Popeye the Sailer would say, “Well blow me down!” As you can see above is the Fallen Star, a sailing vessel they helped designed for D&D Fifth Edition and Forgotten Realms. I have no idea what the story is but I had to have it, OK, I bought two! Yes, if you’re going to have pirates and good guys duke it out, you need two vessels. I’ll just live with both ships having the same mastheads. WizK!ds also makes minis for Pathfinder so the vessel is to scale for their stuff as well as those bitchin’ HeroForge customized minis we have.

You can see the grid for minis in this overhead view.

I did an open-box experience at my workplace’s cafeteria with the recently formed D&D club amongst us employees (I belong to the Pathfinder subgroup of course). This will be why you see my new friend in the background.

The ship’s bow. Check out the anchor and masthead.

The Fallen Star didn’t require much assembly. You have to put together the sails. The helm (or steering wheel) is a mini you can place where you wish but we all know it’s in the stern region to be close to the rudder. Her lower decks (for the cargo, passengers; the other would be filled with rocks for ballast) are separate, super-thick cardboard maps that are double sided; you can choose the grid of non-grid options.

The detail on the stairs are fantastic!

Here comes the downside. WizK!ds manufactured very few of these ships. My store couldn’t order enough to have one on the shelf if someone wanted to buy it on impulse. I was wise enough to ask for my two as a special order as soon as this product was announced. I think I bought the only two they received. I do hope WizK!ds had tremendous success and will either make more or go on to design another! I will whip out another $250 for the latter.

Thought these were for cannons but they’re oar ports.

Since these are Fantasy-level ships, despite their post-Middle Ages’ design, I purchased all the ballistas Rogues Gallery had in order to arm them. Gunpowder either doesn’t exist, work well or is terribly expensive in D&D/PF. The crews are going to be armed with crossbows too.

The door even opens!

I can’t wait to deploy my vessels. There are many well-loved, sea-faring adventures in D&D/PF’s history; The Isle of Dread, The Salt Marsh trilogy and the Skull & Shackles adventure path.

Need dividers, the captain wouldn’t get all this living space.

My ships are free to borrow if you live in my area, you’re a fellow DM and I know you will take good care of them too.

Maybe the officers live here.

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Sloan

Posted on February 24, 2019 by Steve

PUBLISHER’S NOTE: This concert took place on September 14, 2018, placing the story into The Lost Tales category amongst many other events. Just letting you know, more overdue Concerts, Movies and cool events are a’ coming!

Sloan is one of Canada’s numerous lesser-known, should-be-more popular Power Pop acts living in the shadow of the overrated, tired and bloated Rush singing about trees, teen isolation in the Seventies and Ayn Rand.

Chris Murphy on vocals/bass, sometimes drums

This quartet got their initial debut in the early Nineties when the record labels (remember them?) were running around trying find anyone who sounded remotely like Nirvana, another overrated act as Dave Grohl has proved. The only station I remember playing them was WXRT and just the single “Underwhelmed.” I loved it so I scored their album Smeared when it appeared at this record store in Peoria I would hit during my dreary lunch hours circa 1993. Then they fell off my radar with the move to Austin. Somehow, my new home’s Alt station K-NACK (RIP) wasn’t big on them as they played Green Day and the Offspring to death.

Andrew Scott on vocals/drums but guitar when lead singer

;”>Sloan “returned” to my brain with the acquisition of an unapproved Paul McCartney tribute album. They were in great company on this: The Finn Brothers, They Might Be Giants, Semisonic, Barenaked Ladies and Robyn Hitchcock. As per the general trend, Sloan chose the lesser-known track “Waterfalls” from McCartney II. Afterwards, I have been on top of their releases since the Aughts. I made sure to see them open for JET 15 years ago at Stubb’s. They’ve appeared at least once at ACL Fest but I’d rather stab myself with a butter knife indefinitely before attending that crapfest.

Jay Ferguson on vocals/guitar, sometimes bass

This Fall they came to headline at what is shaping up to Austin’s better mid-size venue, the 3Ten underneath the Moody Theater. They were coming through to promote their latest release 12 which is obviously their twelfth album together (each member has side projects and make guest appearances for others). Sloan also enacted this new trend I have been enjoying lately, NO OPENING ACT, just two sets with a 30-minute break between them.

QUICK ASIDE AND EDITORIAL

I’m of two minds on this though. Some opening acts have impressed me so much I bought their work and return to see them headline:

  • OK Go (TMBG)
  • Longwave (the Donnas)
  • INXS (Adam Ant)
  • Phenomena’s (Aquabats)
  • Beth Wood (Angie Aparo, she’s on our wedding mix)

Others I was looking forward to seeing anyway:

  • Wang Chung
  • Smithereens
  • Michael Penn
  • Sam Phillips
  • Queensryche (seriously)

Sadly, there have been some I couldn’t wait for them to get off the stage:

  • Eight Seconds (no, you’re probably thinking of the Punk band 7 Seconds)
  • Peaches (where to start…)
  • Sugarcubes (they sucked hard)
  • Frente (worst cover of “Bizarre Love Triangle” ever!)
  • Tesla (before I knew their name was shit-talk at Marconi)

Given it’s a nuisance to drive into downtown Austin and at my age, I just don’t want to be up until 3 AM anymore; I frequently have work or something else the next day. Besides, I am incapable of sleeping in until noon. This trend of starting earlier by cutting out the opener so everything can wrap up at a decent time tends to be a favorable thing.

ASIDE AND EDITORIAL OVER

Patrick Petland on vocals/lead guitar

Sloan didn’t disappoint. Not only did they practically blow the lid off the place with their two separate sets, it was a great mix of material from the whole catalog. I think they were pretty impressed with the turnout in Austin too. At the end they said they want to come back to tour for the anniversary of Navy Blues which I think may be their most critically acclaimed album. I don’t care, I’ll see Sloan again to make up for all the times I’ve missed them over a 25-year period.

First set. Between the dashes is when Andrew sings lead.

Here comes the ‘no surprise,’ should Sloan come to your city, area, whatever…see them! On the fence? I’ll make a mixtape based upon these set lists, they represent the band’s evolution as well as their “hits.”

One final anecdote, their touring keyboardist was surprised to see me wearing a Terra Lightfoot shirt. He insisted on taking a picture to notify her (awesome!) and the band members are fans of the Canadian shredder.

Second set

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Flyers win Stadium Series and Gritty streaks at intermission

Posted on February 23, 2019 by Steve

The Flyers managed to come from behind and then win it in OT which was great. Any opportunity to defeat that whiney douchenozzle Crosby is a good day, especially on national TV.

Gritty stole the show in my opinion by “streaking” during an Intermission. I use quotes because he is a mascot or a person in a costume yet it was too funny. See below…

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I may be getting another 15 minutes!

Posted on February 23, 2019 by Steve

The gang at RiffTrax are holding another Kickstarter to fund their 2019 Live Tour. This time they’re mocking three movies and they’re real winners: Octaman, Star Raiders and The Giant Spider Invasion. Star Raiders was only released in 2017 with Casper Van Dien (Starship Troopers, Legend of Sleepy Hollow (1999)) and I recognized Spider Invasion from its trailer because that alone scared me as a little kid.

Sadly, the live shows will be in Nashville. Maybe we’ll go to the simultaneous screenings through the Fathom-associated theaters when they do Octaman live.

There is great news as per this story’s headline! I scored the last “Write a Riff” pledge. There were 15 originally, five per movie. I really wanted Star Raiders because it reminded me of the video game for the Atari 400/800 computers and you can’t go wrong with Casper Van Dien! I wanted to get Somara’ s permission first given their price tags. I was too late and they were all gone. Then one for the Spider Invasion re-appeared so I scored it. Although MST3K made fun of it during the Comedy Central years, the RiffTrax gang stated this is a fully, restored version released several years ago. Plus Alan Hale (the Skipper from Gilligan’s Island) appears as a local sheriff so what’s not to like?

Some of you need to be ready. I may be testing my joke(s) on you but everyone will be alerted to the release with the time of when I get to try my best. I’m excited and scared at the same time. I’ve admired all these guys for 30 years, I don’t want to deliver a dud they have to re-write or worse, they recuperate their losses by selling it to Seth McFarlane.

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1819: US acquires Florida…America’s punchline

Posted on February 22, 2019 by Steve

Originally colonized by the Spanish, despite people already living there. The future state was then handed over to the English after the French & Indian War; spoils for Spain trying to aid the French. Then it returned to Spanish control after the American Colonies got a solid treaty from the English. Eventually US meddling got the Spaniards to give it over for free while the young country tried to settle claims from people who probably shouldn’t have been squatting there. It’s not a surprise Andrew Jackson, the Beta version of Trump, was the governor general for during the interim to get Florida into the Union as a slave-owning hellhole (air conditioning wouldn’t be developed until the early 20th Century) by 1845. It has gone on to be a pain in the ass multiple times in Federal elections. Not just the Gore v. Bush the Lesser in 2000, we received a warning in 1876 and the primarily fickle, selfish retirees who have been fleeing there; they don’t want to pay taxes to contribute while they expect us to bail them every year when hurricanes flatten their homes.

To be fair. Florida is entirely evil and filled with immoral assholes (see Sen. Marco Rubio, insurance thief Sen. Rick Scott and their newly “elected” racist governor). It is the home of my cool cousins Dana, Denise and David along with their families, namely their mother Aunt Colleen! My Trumpkin, “thinks he’s a Navy SEAL” cousin Ron is present too. Maybe one day he’ll come to his senses on how the GOP continues to screw him as their keep distracting him through social issues he has no right to deny others’ rights through. However, Ron was in the Navy for 12 years and like the Baptists, if you hold someone under water long enough, they’ll believe anything.

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Another exercise milestone and factoid

Posted on February 22, 2019 by Steve

The new progression bar under the calendar this month is something Somara twisted my arm into doing. It’s called the Close the Rings Challenge and it happens at work every February. Everybody who wants to participate forms teams of four people with the goal of all members closing their three rings (Move, Exercise and Stand). Points are received as each ring progresses with a bonus of 12 if you close all three and four extra for when a team member does the same. For example. Each ring I close is 12 points. Closing all three is another 12. Somara closing hers on the same day I close mine is another four. Certain things max out. Standing stops at 14 because it’s the easiest. Can’t recall what it is with Move and Exercise but I know I’m in no jeopardy of going too far.

This year I’ve been pushing myself harder to make the gym at least every day. It’s a great thing. By the time I’m done pedaling on the exercise bike, I start my day with two dozen points and getting the Stand closed is a breeze.

Let’s see if I can achieve Gold. Bronze is the minimum to be awarded a free watch band, meh. By now our team won’t achieve a collective Bronze to be in the drawing for a more worthwhile prize.

I do plan to continue setting a new streak record after the Challenge ends.

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New glasses arrived today!

Posted on February 20, 2019 by Steve

I know this sounds trivial but I put this off for at least a year. The good news is that my right eye remains the same and the left only had one notch of decline. I owe this success to my vanity! Whenever I’m in a “close” environment such as working on my computer or reading a book, I take my glasses off because I can see just fine up to several feet. I must wear my glasses for driving, watching TV/movies or anything involving distance.

The first pair was pretty cheap thanks to insurance. I should’ve shopped elsewhere for the second but I always need a backup set in case I can’t find the primary. One day I hope the Tile people can make a device small enough to be put on a pair of glasses to help find them quickly like I can with my keys and badge.

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1939: American Nazis rally at MSG

Posted on February 20, 2019 by Steve

This shameful incident in American History came to light for me via  On the Media and The Guardian, the latter was namely how Faux News refused to air a commercial for a documentary about this rally. I know why Murdoch’s Right-Wing Noise Machine wouldn’t plug the film…

  • For some, it would be holding up a mirror to them and maybe they’d finally realize they’ve become the enemy. Plus they’d realize how Trump played them for chumps.
  • The majority would go, hey, those guys had the right idea, we need another one of these things! Murdoch prefers to be sneaky and spurious like when Right Wing Coconut D’Souza uses Nazi imagery to incorrectly describe the Left.

A Nazi or Fascist presence in America wasn’t a surprise, I knew about them in high school for I grew up in regions where numerous Germans emigrated to (Central IL, Milwaukee and North Dakota). I’m even part German. However, the majority wanted nothing to do with the Nazi regime. Fascist goons did have their admirers in numerous other countries, even parties operating in the open. They all went underground once their homelands were at war with Hitler and his gangster allies; Churchill arrested the Fascists in the UK immediately. The documentary maker Marshall Curry said the American Nazi movement never had a big following before WWII due to its Germanic slant. Ergo, the WASPs of the North and West and the NeoConfederates of the Deep South preferred their own brand of racism.

The NY cops protecting the Nazis from the 100,00o protesters outside wouldn’t be a surprise today. Police forces throughout America secretly harbor Right-Wing groups because many cops are members; look at the Coast Guard dude with the cache of guns that was recently caught. In the Thirties, I was puzzled unless the predominantly Irish organization was more conservative and/or Anti-Semitic.

This gathering also reflects poorly on Mayor La Guardia’s legacy due to his Jewish mother and being a staunch ally of FDR (despite being a Republican).

You can see the Documentary for free here. It’s well under 10 minutes.

Some say it can’t happen here. HA! I fear Charlottesville is only the beginning. The modern Nazi movement may have retained its hatred for Jews, LGBT people, Labor Unions, non-Whites, “uppity” women, anybody they brand a Communist, Muslims, immigrants and Intellectuals yet their ranks are filled with any disaffected asshole who blames their problems on the previous listed Americans.

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1929: First Academy Awards (Oscars®) announced

Posted on February 18, 2019 by Steve

Overall, I really don’t give two shits about them since the people who do the voting suffer from a huge disconnect from just about everybody. It’s not that they often give the award to movies that are often boring and/or pretentious (anything Woody Allen has done since 1980), it’s the majority of the selections were only recently in theaters. As if the voting members have the memory of a goldfish. Well-made movies don’t exist between February to November?

There used to be an upside. When we had cable, TCM would do 31 Days of Oscar which was a non-stop month-long marathon of the winners. However, they showed mostly fantastic movies because it won some technical, screenplay, etc. award. Not necessarily Best Picture or the ego-stroking actor/actress crap.

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Maybe karma is real

Posted on February 17, 2019 by Steve

What a great weekend I had and I have to say it’s all due to being nice to children. Now you’re like, well Steve, you’re supposed to be nice to children. Of course, but I was nice to them in a special ways because I’ve never forgotten what it was like to be in their situations, namely being broke and semi-powerless.

It kicked off like most Saturdays this time of year by running into Girl Scouts for it is cookie season. There were a couple with their mother camped out in front of a donut shop, very original. Most days I find them at Walgreens, pizza places and comic book stores. Somara wanted to pick up some treats for her co-workers, otherwise I’m indifferent to Shipley’s (and I can’t get into Krispy Kreme). I bought a box as I always do to help, to me the GSA is a good organization while the BSA still needs to join the modern era. I gave the younger Girl Scout a couple Plucker’s cards for free wings I got from the previous night’s Stars game. This resulted in a sweet, thank-you hug. It was darling and made me feel upbeat. I also credit the kind act with why I found a rare Toto card at Pinballz.

Quick aside. Pinballz has this push game with a Wizard of Oz theme. You put in your money, you drop tokens to push out colored chips and cards for points to redeem at the prize counter. Green chips and silver coins are worth five. Red chips are worth 20. Cards are worth 50. If you get all seven character cards (Glenda, Scarecrow, Tinman, Lion, Dorothy, Evanora and Toto), the set is worth 5000. The catch is that Toto is only dispensed once every 50 cards by the machine, thus making it rare. You can find these Toto cards on Craigslist for $30, they’re quite a big deal. I racked up enough points in 2017 to land a PS4 but most days I redeem them for Lego sets.

Back to the karma thing…

I returned to Pinballz on Sunday to have a catch-up lunch with my lunch with an old friend and ex-coworker Tony. While killing time, I saw a couple kids with big ambitions at the prize counter. I gave them each a Wizard of Oz character card after asking them if they’re good kids (parents nodded yes) and told them to listen to their parents, they’re pretty smart. Boom! Another Toto card spotted and in my token cup after the meal.

Even without the Toto cards, I did feel like I was on an emotional roll. Another practice I will never stop doing is handing out four Pinballz tokens to the birthday kids whenever I’m around on the weekends. My point? Well, as much as I want to help drive up business at my favorite drinking-go karting-pinball playing hangout, I also want to let children know there are adults who are nice, generous and kinds. We’re not all stern and down to business, at their age it’s do your homework, do as we say not as we do.

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