1999: Twenty years and three previous entries later

Sorry if I repeat myself as the title hints at but a 20-year anniversary is nothing to ignore. Especially when it’s the first in-person meeting I had with Somara, my spouse of the last 15 years. We will most likely celebrate at Wings n’ More because she likes their food better than Chili’s. I’m not as particular when it comes to the place, only what I eat.

Hard to believe how well online services worked then. They were still in their infancy and today they’re rather commonplace. I see Match.com ads on Hulu frequently. Should those three people in the commercials be real, not actors, I wish them well. When I was younger, my generation generally turned their noses up at the Internet as a solution for dating. I wonder if Millenials and the so-called Generation Z feel the same way. My therapist said these services tend to work in favor of older men (which I’m now a part of) due to them being outnumbered by women. I fear it’s divorcees, they do have a harder time getting back into the game, I don’t envy their situation.

As for us. We’ve been through three cats, have another three; two apartments (one was temporary until the main one was ready), one house, multiple vacations (over a third to Las Vegas), two cars; on another two (paid in full!), multiple computers (90% Macs of course) and surprisingly I’ve held only one job the whole time.

On to next year. Who knows what the future holds.

Posted in Austintatious, History | Tagged , | Leave a comment

1919: Prohibition, a stupid idea, begins

One reason why we should never let intolerant, religious nut jobs take over the State is it happened before through the 18th Amendment. They’re not the majority but when we let our guard down, they manage to pass an impossible law to enforce, not even President Harding obeyed since it was rumored he always had access to booze in the White House while playing cards. Prohibition also strengthened America’s organized crime problem because if there was anyone capable of providing an illegal vice, it’s them. The collective stupidity built a Canadian beverage empire too, ever heard of Canada Dry?

Sadly, the link from the History Channel lays the blame exclusively at the Temperance Movement. When I was a kid in the late Seventies/early Eighties, the other explanation I received from the History book was President Wilson thinking people would re-allocate their drinking money toward war bonds for WWI. It the Amendment just came too late. I hope this has been debunked. I highly doubt alcoholics nor casual drinkers such as myself would do such a thing.

Today’s “alcohol” surrogates the Religious Christo-Fascists get their panties in their knot about are abortion and weed.

Let us set the record straight on abortion first. Their primary motivation against the procedure isn’t about saving babies is a Trojan Horse; when they’ve left the uterus, “Christians” are often demand lower taxes. Ergo, once the babies born they defund everything else involved with raising children: pre-K, affordable healthcare, good public schools, childcare assistance and any post-secondary education programs. The Country Club Republicans who are allied in this just get the “Christian” vote aren’t worried. They will maintain their access to abortions due to them frequently knocking up their mistresses and their daughters having “youthful indiscretions.” The latter is often covered in the euphemism, she went on a long trip to Europe.

The tide has finally turned on weed through its legalization in some states, including Utah, who would’ve thought that the state of the Uncanny Valley people could do such a thing? Personally, I still wouldn’t bother to toke up. It’s not my thing and I only smoke a cigar about once a year to celebrate something like a wedding or cutting loose in Vegas. We have too many people incarcerated over it, namely non-White, non-Rich citizens when we could be making money through it via taxes as per booze. Its primary downsides are Stoner Culture: the smell (yuck), the music it attracts (the Grateful Dead, Phish and other jam bands suck donkeys) and white kids with dreadlocks, permeated in body funk. Unlike nastier stuff such as cocaine or heroin, I dare you find a violent offender pumped up on weed. Right. You can’t. Bill Hicks said it best, “When you’re at a concert and someone is acting like an asshole, are they high or drunk?” Again, the same elites in the GOP throw this persecution bone to the “Christians” when we know they and their children are no strangers to the bong. Except Mitt Romney, maybe he’d have an ounce more empathy for non-Rich people if he took at least a hit in his youth.

Posted in History | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

1979: The Shah of Iran flees, 40 years of hate gets rolling

America’s brutal puppet fled Iran giving Ayatollah Khomeini and his religious thugs the opening they needed to create a different, brutal Islamic theocracy which has been a thorn in the world’s side ever since.

The outcome shouldn’t be a shock though. The West’s most recently meddling began during WWII via the UK and Soviet Union. I think the British won out because I can’t imagine the Soviets being thrilled with Iran becoming a constitutional monarchy under the asshole who became the Shah, Mohammad Reza Shah Pahlavi. America’s overthrow of their fledgling democracy with Premier Mosaddeq in 1953 showed the world that our paranoid fear of the Soviet Union and love of cheap oil were our true values. Freedom and democracy were only for White Americans as the Shah was the absolute ruler through his CIA-trained secret police (Savak). I guess the CIA taught them how to torture citizens without leaving visible marks.

According to the ladies from the podcast Ethnically Ambiguous, despite Reza being very powerful, he was filled with self doubt and not wasn’t very strong willed. He was also a super horny scumbag. Allegedly, an executive from a Fortune 500 company let the Shah sleep with his wife in order to get a major contract.

The regime began to crumble when he was diagnosed with cancer. It was kept secret for a while but the damage was done. Reza became reclusive, depressed and lost interest in governing with the iron fist he needed to stay on stop. When a strongman stops exerting force, allies quickly become enemies and existing enemies get emboldened. Eventually the army revolted leaving Reza no other option but to flee Iran with his family.

Iranians of all stripes were thrilled to be rid of the murderous asshole. It was short lived as Khomeini and his thugs took over, killing or expelling the opposition to their designs, an oppressive state governed through a Medieval interpretation of the Koran.

  • Women are second class humans.
  • Elements of Western culture were destroyed, except weapons.
  • Other interpretations of Islam are wrong, hence Iran meddles through their terrorist allies.

Eventually Khomeini’s followers had lost their collective shit when they seized the US embassy and held the occupants hostage for over a year unless we returned the Shah to face trial for his crimes. Never happened yet it probably weighed heavily in Jimmy Carter losing his bid to be re-elected president to a B-movie bullshit artist. I have no doubt St. Reagan’s goon squad met with Iranian officials to keep the hostages in place until the election since the Shah died in July 1980, eliminating the Iranian’s motivation.

Today, Iran’s population is quadruple what it was 40 years ago thanks to their war against Iraq in the Eighties. This means the majority were born well after Khomeini’s coup and many are realizing the ayatollahs and mullahs are crooks of another color. Western sanctions have been successful, the Iranian economy has been strangled for decades causing high unemployment and stagnant growth. Some have spoken out against the government funding so much on foreign policy (aka terrorism) when the money would’ve been better spent at home fixing the economy.

American policy hasn’t matured much neither, see the Iraq debacle of Dubious Bush and the war criminal named Dick Cheney. We continue to hold a grudge over those past events. Now I’m not a proponent of the Islamic Republic of Iran but maybe it’s time to grow the hell up, deal with them in a more mature fashion as the present regime isn’t going away soon. Preventing their ambitions for nuclear weapons isn’t impossible and it can be done without going to war until we have a better plan to undermine their government.

Just not until we get our house in order.

Posted in History | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

1919: The Great Molasses Flood of Boston

I first learned about this weird tragedy several years ago from the wonderful ladies on Stuff You Missed in History Class. It boggles the mind how something of this nature could’ve happened too. Most Americans today only think the gooey liquid is used for baking, rum and sometimes as a substitute for maple syrup, plus there’s the saying “he’s as slow as molasses.” Why would anyone in their right mind have a 2.3 million gallon tank of this stuff in a residential area? Unlike Texas in general, other US regions have zoning laws to prevent further disasters unless the GOP and the Chamber of Commerce get their way.

You can read about the details from the AP here, better yet, listen to the podcast episode, I promise you will be entertained as well as informed. I’ve read and listened to both. The facts involved, especially how quickly the molasses wave swept across the neighborhood is incredible…35 mph, no human had a prayer in trying to outrun it.

Posted in History | Tagged , | Leave a comment

New Futurama theme for GWD tournament in June

Darth Bender! Drunk Lord of the Sith! I couldn’t resist this mash-up since the artist really did a great job integrating Bender’s distinctive look/shape into Darth Vader’s armor. As for the nerd nitpicking, Bender would only need to hold his lightsaber close to the cigar to light it because those weapons cauterize wounds on flesh and plant-based material.

Posted in Factoids, Funny Ones, Geeks Who Drink, Shirts | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Had a perfect September 2018 in exercise

It’s a new year which means new resolutions and a frequent one everybody makes is to lose weight and/or exercise more. As always, the gyms are a tad crowded. I fizzled out near the end of the year thanks to illness but now everything is back to being under control, I am back in the groove (three days in a row!). Baby steps until I return to what I was accustomed to, in short, my legs don’t hurt as much, I don’t start to sweat profusely until I’m 15 or more minutes into the routine and I’m not so short of breath quickly.

Meanwhile I forgot to post my success in September 2018. I succeeded in achieving my Move goal everyday that month! This was accomplished via the gym, not over the duration of a day. Since it takes more effort to close the Move (red) ring, I also closed the Exercise (green) ring every day as well.

January is already a bust but let’s see if I can repeat this feat next month as a celebration of living in Austin for 25 years.

Posted in Health, News, The Lost Tales | Tagged | Leave a comment

Richard Jeni would’ve been proud

The late comedian in the title used to a routine about a bachelor chef cooking show featuring macaroni and cheese, a staple for unmarried men. One joke was how cheap and mandatory the foodstuff was because the character purchased this by the metric ton.

It seems Costco has caught up 20-plus years later in time for the Zombie Apocalypse. When I read the details for the 27-pound bucket, I have to admit to being bummed it contains 180 packets of noodles and cheese powder each. It isn’t a a giant “can” of pre-made a la Chef Boyardee, which would be tricky given the pseudo dairy nature of cheese powder, if any. The upside is the bucket also contains oxygen packets to keep the contents edible for 20 years! So maybe the gang from The Walking Dead may stumble upon this as a rather morbid product placement.

Don’t get your hopes up if you want to get the bucket. It’s currently sold out and was only available through the online store.

Posted in Diversions | Tagged , | Leave a comment

An inaccurate and overdue plaque to be removed

Despite the Texas State Preservation Board voting unanimously to remove a plaque that states an outright lie about the Confederacy, I expect Neo Confederate apologists (aka Racists) will step up a misinformation campaign to keep it. Plus this is Texas, we have horrible, horrible douchebags at the top levels of government whose playbook is based upon an imaginary past which only exists in the imagination of St. Reagan. Case in point, our Attorney General (who should also be in jail for SEC violations) implied it’s up to the legislature. Ugh! There’s a body with a large segment of D- History students inclined to override the TSPB, especially Red Skull Cosplayer, Lt. Governor Dan Patrick.

I’ve read all 11 Declarations of Secession. Not only were they pretty dry and boring given the 19th Century language but they all made it clear about slavery being the primary reason for their leaving. So whenever you hear Republicans, White Trash and Ammosexuals complain about snow flake sore losers, remind them who the originals were.

Posted in History | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Isis is starting to visit me on the bed!

Who can say “no” to that cute face?

Gradually, month by month, Isis is growing braver in visiting us to sit and sometimes lie down on the bed. She’s still jumpy if there’s sudden moves by any human and other times, Kuroneko goes into bully mode as she bites Isis in the behind. One day I hope she will cuddle up beside me to take a little nap as Nemo and Kuroneko do. The latter cat is so self-assured, she snores, it’s pretty funny.

Posted in Cats | Tagged | Leave a comment

More progress on Satine with a photo

Satine is definitely growing more comfortable hanging around the house…because she knows there’s a free meal in the works. I finally got a good photo of her sweet face. Of all the torties I’ve seen, her pattern is the most evenly spread out I’ve come across. It’s like there’s no big patches of black or orange tabby, just both mixed thoroughly like a good cup of fruit yogurt.

I need to see if I can score a trap from Austin or my vet. Satine loves the cat cave but I never catch her sleeping. I fear that stray cats don’t get much sleep given their precarious situations.

Posted in Cats | Tagged | Leave a comment

Aquaman: Worth Seeing*

I initiate Aquaman with an asterisk because it’s good but it just isn’t terribly original while succeeding in making one of DC’s least interesting superheroes watchable, today, in a few years I doubt it. Sure, the character started becoming more appealing when Peter David wrote for the comic in the early Nineties and then others kept the ball rolling, namely Geoff Johns (who is also a producer to the DC flicks). Casting a popular actor from Game of Thrones didn’t hurt. My complaint are the overlapping elements I already saw in Ant-Man and the Wasp, Guardians of the Galaxy and probably every other successful Marvel movie. Poor DC just can’t get a break. Hell, three people who were in better superheroes are present, you’ll have to guess them and if you wish, post in the Comments. Warning, two of the three are probably subjective on the “better” listing but it’s my opinion.

Aquaman takes place after the boring slog Justice League was so the world knows of Arthur’s existence as he rescues a Russian submarine crew from the future Black Manta (his real nemesis over the years). Could it be WB/DC trying to curry favorable treatment from Putin with the Russian film market? Meanwhile, his half brother King Orem is planning a war against the surface world but needs all the seven underwater kingdoms to align with him. Thus the main story is Arthur and Princess Mera traveling around the world to find the means to stop Orem as his backstory is interlaced between scenes. Much like every other superhero film, you are left wondering a bit about the absence of the other members of the Justice League given these characters being part of a shared universe. Maybe Aquaman didn’t know about Henry Cavil/Superman being fired and Ben Affleck/Batman being on the fence.

The acting is fine. The effects are impressive especially how digital techniques can get the underwater elements to look impressive. The explanation for why certain Atlanteans can breathe without needing water as the medium was a bit elitist to make a plot point, not the case in Marvel since only Namor and Namorita can breathe in both. I just wish DC would just stop, take a couple years off, regroup and find a fresher approach to tell these stories instead of utilizing Instagram filters, giving them a Marvel knockoff feeling. Have to see if they avoid it in the upcoming Shazam!

Alamo Extras: We got there late, my fault but…scenes from a Jackie Chan movie with real underwater fighting; the underwater gag scene from Top Secret (totally forgot about that); the Stingray show (a marionette show like Thunderbirds Go! and Supercar); a music video for Bobby Freeman and this weird Italian Europop entry from Tom Hooker; the opening to the super cheap Hanna-Barbera cartoons of Superman/Aquaman Show; Trailer for Atlantis: The Lost Continent; the horrible UCLA film made in the Eighties of Aquaman; finally, a scene from the Sid & Marty Kroft show The Lost Saucer when the gang travelled back in time to see Atlantis, a rather weird song/dance number performed by its stars Ruth Buzzi and Jim Nabors!

Posted in Comic Books, In Theaters, Movies | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Progress on Satine (the stray cat)

Like most cats, Satine is slightly conditioned to hang around our porch because there’s a chance of free food. The weather has warmed up so it isn’t to sleep in the cat cave I bought Miguel.

I have gained some trust. She will come up to the door as I place the food down. I even got the chance to stroke her head and back without hissing or fleeing. Satine’s fur is dry and rough which tells me she doesn’t eat regularly.

Now the bigger concern. Is the orange tabby who is sometimes seen with her the boyfriend and is she pregnant. I overheard a couple fights which can mean they were fights or it was cat reproduction, something I’ve heard isn’t pleasant for female cats.

If kittens are in the cards, the upside is Satine possibly remembering me for help. This contributed to Isis (nee Princess) showing up regularly at my door. Cats aren’t dumb.

Posted in Cats | Tagged | Leave a comment

Header change was needed

I went with this snapshot of the landscape from Idiocracy as a tribute to the current Federal Government shutdown being caused by the Shitgibbon’s stubbornness. He wants to be true to his racist base despite walls not working, ask the Chinese on how well it kept out their enemies the Huns and Mongols? I wouldn’t say East Germany’s which was supposed to keep their people in was a roaring success neither. Walls are also easily defeated by ladders, tunnels, hot-air balloons, bulldozers and pure determination. I do hope this doesn’t drag on as long as Newt Gingrich’s temper tantrum of 1995, allegedly not getting to ride on or in Air Force One’s good section fueled part of that.

This was also the day, 25 years ago, I turned in my two weeks at Dynamic Graphics (aka DG) because I was suffocating at numerous levels: the unimaginative job, working for a company that missed the boat and would on the Internet, and Central IL, let alone the Midwest, was mired in a past even today, thinks the Shitgibbon will restore. I have to thank all those times the Silders let me crash at their place in Chicago, it was nice to have more intelligent, thoughtful conversations given how unconcerned my peers in Bloomington were. What a day it was. I think everyone at the company had to re-write their job description to update it. Boy did I. Answering tech support questions for clip art? It certainly didn’t need a college diploma. I adjusted it to high school degree with one-year of related experience, turned it in with my resignation. How the gossip mill got rolling via this copywriter named Renee. I was so numb then, I didn’t care if Austin fell through anymore. I had to stop commuting to Peoria for such a pittance, working with a bunch of people trying to run out the clock to retirement or having unreal expectations of landing a decent job in Peoria that wasn’t Caterpillar. The later has since bailed and has its World HQ in Chicago, surprise!

If Austin didn’t happen, I think I would’ve just gotten by temping around Bloomington and Normal, mooching off my grandmother until I could enroll at ISU, earn the second degree I’ve been putting for 25 years. Back then I would’ve pursued a BA in French. Today, I want to pursue more about Math, maybe with a dash of Mandarin.

Lastly, I wanted to take down the “joy” banner over my 20 years of knowing Somara. In short, we’ve hit a serious rough patch alongside her illness. It’s too early to say where we’re headed. I’m too pissed at my therapist amongst other emotions as I debate whether or not I want to invest another 20 years let alone 20 hours at this time.

If you give a crap. Stay tuned but don’t sweat it much.

Posted in History, News, The Site | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

The Little Hours

I’m a 100 percent certain the Catholic Church condemned this movie but it’s 2019 so nobody gives a crap, even the majority of practicing Catholics. Those denominations which hate or skewer Catholicism wouldn’t be fans neither, thanks to the nudity.

Hours is loosely based upon The Decameron by Giovanni Boccaccio (1313-1375 AD), one of many authors pointing out the hypocrisy within the Church.

When I was growing up in parochial school (aka Catholic grade school), you’re taught this false narrative about the clergy, especially in the Middle Ages which was the Church’s pinnacle on numerous levels. Priests, nuns and monks took up these selfless lives of charity, poverty, celibacy, etc. Nothing could be further from the truth as demonstrated in this featured convent. Meanwhile, you all learn the truth via high school or college-level History classes. The nuns here berate the laborer keeping the place operational to the point of him quitting, one nun named Alessandra is in the convent against her will (a common event) because her father can’t come up with her dowry and the location’s priest, Father Tommasso, has lost the tapestries the nuns make to provide operational income. His excuse was that he “accidentally” got drunk over the laborer quitting.

Enter Massetto! He has been caught by Lord Bruno, the nearby feudal lord) for having sex with his wife so Massetto is fleeing to avoid execution. Massetto encounters Father Tommasso, helps fix the priest’s broken wagon and offers to escort him back to the convent. Tommasso offers Massetto the job of groundskeeper under one major condition, pretend to be deaf and mute in order to survive the abusive nuns. Hiding behind the convent’s walls is a good way to escape since Bruno’s jurisdiction stops there.

Massetto gets more than he bargained for and being a young, virile, horn dog, his mute and deaf condition results in several nuns having sex with him. He realizes quickly, it isn’t all pleasant as a couple hold knives to his throat to get his cooperation.

Adultery isn’t the only “crime” happening within the convent. A couple nuns are practicing witchcraft in the nearby forest. Not really sure what their objective is. Plus, witchcraft as we know it would be codified decades later.

When Bishop Bartolomeo drops by for a surprise audit on the convent’s books, everything shady going on comes to a head.

In short, is this really funny? Not to everyone. History buffs like me, sure. Heck, I bet Tides of History would loosely endorse Hours as an example of criticisms raised against the 14th Century Church. It’s dark due to people not behaving as they’re expected to; I can understand what happens, religion can often put unrealistic expectations on everyone. Others I fear will be disappointed given the movie’s cast and anticipating something more on par with Portlandia or a Will Ferrell hilarity.

Posted in Movies, Streaming | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

1989: Hoser & Mag show debuts on WMUR

I think our show only lasted about seven to eight weeks before I bailed on José to finish up the semester. I’m guessing I quit for a couple reasons, one being the desire to sleep in on Sunday mornings and the other involving the other people running the station, namely an uptight Program Director named Craig Mauerman (sic). Can’t recall the why exactly nor does it matter anymore, let’s scratch it up to my 20-year-old ego. Still, the two of us operated a pretty good three-hour block…except nobody gives a crap to listen from 9 AM to noon on a Sunday, especially if the “radio station” is on AM via carrier current that can only be heard in seven of the eight dorms. Marquette is available through streaming now.

Despite the two of us pulling in different directions at times, me trying to recreate the lighting in a bottle I had with Sheila and José learning the ropes, I’m proud about how we only talked on the air when we either had to (public service announcements, station ID) or we tried a joke/skit we scripted out. The latter could be uneven because we didn’t always share the same sense of humor, timing or technique. Better than most blocks since there’s often an asshole who loves the sound of their own voice and/or unimaginative types who played the same crap every week. My musical snobbery remains. If I had my way, in order to be a DJ, one must demonstrate a great love of music AND variety, to shake it up. Having to pass a written exam about various Jazz figures, as per WGLT, is overboard. Maybe, I would have candidates turn in mix tapes.

Another strong suit we had was through the music we played. Let me explain. We stayed within the station’s goal of an Alternative Format (nowadays I think it would’ve been called “Early” College Radio), we just didn’t follow the piechart. To me, the chart was for the people with little clue and/or those jerks I mentioned before. Through my internship at WQFM, I learned their technique with the AOR format and tweaked it to what we would do at WMUR; play something from the piechart which encompassed about 40 songs that were prerecorded on special tapes called CARTs and follow with something we felt like hearing, often an older song; repeat. Not necessarily a genius plan yet it was less boring and/or formulaic given how often a “hit” song was played on WMUR. I think our strategy could’ve been derived from the mental notes I brought back with me from listening to San Diego’s 91-X for a month too. We did receive guff from the Craig fellow for playing Gipsy Kings and another time I was in a mischievous mood, spun up John Sex’s “Hustle with my Muscle,” hey, this meant one person got up to listen! (Holy crap! The song is available on iTunes!)

Oh yeah, we had a slight advantage to our show. I landed another internship at WQFM but with the Promotions Department and it had more reasonable afternoons (weekday afternoons, no more 5 AM crap with a terrible morning show). During the station’s slow hours, I took advantage of using their production studio to make a promo/ad plugging our show. Thanks to WQFM having a VCR hooked into their audio board, I pulled sound bites from movies and SNL to make something pretty bitchin’, how I wish I had a digitized copy! I also made a couple sound gags for when we made a mistake or before reading a PSA, the latter used Blazing Saddles‘ “Excuse me while I whip this out!” For those of you who’ve grown up with computers doing the editing, trust me, having access to such analog gear was a godsend if you were a DJ.

If given a chance, would I jump at being a DJ on say KUTX? Sure. I wouldn’t hold my breath though. This is Texas, nepotism trumps everything else and it seems they give spots to local commercial DJs who were fired from KGSR.

I do want to close with a joke we spontaneously came did through José reading a PSA. I wonder if he remembers the incident. It entailed this event called The Last Lecture Series. Your alma maters may have something similar. A professor or dean was given carte blanche to discuss whatever they wanted, as if it were their last day. In theory there weren’t supposed to be any negative repercussions since Marquette is a relatively conservative university. As José was reading the PSA, he saw one of his past Philosophy teachers on the list, mentioned him and jokingly said he’d might attend. I smugly added, “Going to ask him why you got such a lousy grade?” We laughed. Then, 20-year-old me wouldn’t stop at that, “Hey, (our) dean, Dean Murphy will be at this too. Maybe I should ask her who blew the smoke up her butt?” The lecture I got from Craig on the phone. Personally, given what a useless, uptight bureaucrat Dean Murphy was, I’ve never regretted making such a criticism of her. Turns out I wasn’t alone. When I visited Marquette in 2000, I ran into Dr. Havice and he expressed relief at her departure.

Thanks for reading this and entertaining my nostalgia. I too enjoy having the power of choice via my iPod and MacBook but good FM radio really did help influence tastes in a good way. It made certain artists stars which would’ve never happened given what followed by the late Eighties. As my friend Mark M and I have discussed, the problem has never been Technology, it’s Content which explained the brief rise of NPR, why broadcast networks are down yet but not out and why tape decks/CD players didn’t make a dent.

Posted in History, Music | Tagged , , | Leave a comment