Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them: Worth Seeing

This was a nice spin-off from the Harry Potter series which I found boring two movies in but I will always have a favorable attitude to the novels because getting children to enjoy reading is critical. Somara told me the “book” this is based on is really a bestiary on magic creatures so Rowling and others had to make up a plot. Works for me. Kubrick just ad libbed what was in the novel form of A Clockwork Orange.

As per the pilot, wizard/Hogwart’s dropout Newt comes to New York in the Twenties carrying a magical case filled with the title’s creatures. Through a series events, a couple get loose and proceed to wreak havoc upon the metropolis. It doesn’t help that there’s a fringe element led by Mrs. Barebone demanding a second Salem to eradicate the witches amongst us; Newt’s “luggage” gives Barebone some credibility to a skeptical public and newspaper. We also discover there’s an entire American infrastructure to police and educate future wizards/witches (Ilvermorny).

Overall I did like Beasts due to my personal weakness for seeing stuff set in the Twenties, a period I would use a time machine to see firsthand. The story is predictable but at least there was a focus on magic being a tool, not the macguffin for another boarding school soap opera. Also having a main character without magical power worked well to comedic effect; he’s the audience’s surrogate.

Will Harry Potter fans like this? I have no idea. I’ve been told by those more in the know, it has been divisive film. To me, I think it’s a nice addendum like Rogue One will be to the Star Wars franchise. Plus, it’s an inspiration to run a d20 Modern Urban Arcana campaign or plane hop from D&D.

Alamo Extras: Silent movie showing magic tricks through jump cuts; stop-motion movie of Chip the Woodman; a Japanese woman wearing the sorting hat and then going nuts when she meets Daniel Radcliffe; a movie showing kids in line to meet JK Rowling in the late Nineties; Robot Chicken‘s Voldemort gag; Japanese monkey show; Funny or Die’s bit with David Copperfield showing how Harry Potter ripped him off.

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The googly-eye “bandit” strikes Chuy’s RR

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Girl drink drunk spotted!

A great running joke from The Kids in the Hall

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Nerdland: utter disappointment

This animated feature starring Patton Oswalt, Paul Rudd, Garfunkel & Oates and a plethora of [Adult Swim] standbys via production company Titmouse (The Venture Brothers) should’ve been funny, it had everything going for it. Then again, The Star Wars Holiday Special was written by television’s A-list for variety shows and we all know how that turned out.

Nerdland‘s premise about the misadventures of Elliot and John, two guys trying to break into Hollywood by any means necessary since they’re both 30 now. They ponder getting famous, then getting infamous and eventually it happens by accident. The only good side effect is it finally gets them the romantic attentions of two clothing-store employees they’ve been bugging for a while.

It could’ve been funny but it just plods along which is a shame. Allegedly, this script had been worked on and shopped around for 15 years. You’d think it would’ve been perfected. Maybe it suffers from too much re-writing and adjusting. Patton is usually good for a chuckle or two with his deliveries. I failed summon up anything. Nerdland just felt like an [Adult Swim] pilot dragged out for 90 minutes.

Should this show up on Netflix or be shown ad naseum through Comedy Central or (unlikely) [Adult Swim]…you might want to check it out, maybe it will have a redeemable moment or two. Otherwise, skip it.

There was one bright spot. Before the movie started, the theater showed the movie’s Q&A from some festival. They had Blaine Capatch as the MC while he asked questions of Patton Oswalt, Brendon Small, Kate Micucci, the director and the writer. This was funny, especially Blaine’s goofy references as he introduced them.

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Marquette v. Wisconsin

We lost by nine points but at least we were a bit ahead at the half. Nice to see some other alumni but this group reside way up in Georgetown at a retirement village.

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DC works better on the small screen, part one

arrowandflash1

Next year, I am looking forward to Wonder Woman in theaters but I dread that it will be drenched in Zack Snyder’s style to prep the character for the inevitable Justice League mess; the other purpose behind Batman v. Superman. Here I wish the Time Warner Empire would just concede to Disney since going with Snyder’s dark, gritty, Instagram-filtered approach isn’t going to work out. What should they do? I have no idea beyond “not doing” what they’re doing.

Theaters aside, I have been slowly soaking up DC’s TV offerings via Netflix. I’m trying to watch them in chronological order because they eventually have occasional team-ups or crossovers.

This being part one, I’m only going to cover the first few shows I’ve actually watched.

Arrow‘s first two seasons are a chore like reading Tolkien or playing most collectible-card games. The biggest problem was the producers making Green Arrow a poor-man’s Batman.

  • Urban setting with rampant crime…check
  • Brooding hero who uses devil-may-care playboy cover…check
  • Most fights happen in the dark…check
  • Hero uses deep, creepy voice that needs a cough drop…check
  • Hero underwent intense training before coming home…check

At least they kept the character’s trick arrows I’ve always loved. One day I will get my boxing-glove arrow!

The writers also padded out Green Arrow’s ensemble by adding his mother, step-father, younger sister, ex-girlfriend, best friend, trusted bodyguard, IT director and sister’s ex-boyfriend. For us comic-book fans, we know how things will pan out when we first hear their names. I do have a soft spot for the bodyguard (Diggle) character they made up.

Since Batman is a movie-only property with the exception of the dreadful Gotham show, many of the Dark Knight’s C-list enemies tangle with (Green) Arrow: Deadshot, the Royal Flush Gang and Bronze Tiger. They also use other, somewhat overused members of the DC Universe, muddying the waters for the uninitiated: Slade aka Deathstroke (in Arrow he’s Australian not American), Captain Boomerang, “Count” Vertigo, Merlyn the Black Archer, Ra’s al Ghul, Ravager, Amanda Waller, Katana, Huntress and the League of Assassins. If you tough it out though, Arrow begins to peak on the dark crap when Barry Allen visits near the end of the second season.

I’m definitely enjoying the third season more since The Flash crossovers begin and other heroes from the DC Universe are seeping in, namely Ray Palmer (Atom II) who (spoiler alert) acquire’s Ollie’s corporation.

The Flash had a much better start as I’m going through the first season. It’s a more super-heroic program: Flash fights crime during the day, it’s more colorful and his opponents are more super-villainous! Here they use the event that gave Barry his powers (a particle accelerator at STAR labs exploding) as the cause for all his enemies’ abilities: Weather Wizard, Blackbolt, Gorilla Grodd and Rainbow Raider. Flash does face others from his comic’s rogues gallery armed with gadgets: Captain Cold, Heat Wave, Captain Boomerang, Sonar and Trickster. I have to draw attention to the actor playing Captain Cold, he is fantastic. His take has the villain as a rather, calm, calculating type which comes off as slightly funny, unlike the comics’ bumbling bank robber I remember.

For comic-book fans, The Flash is more interesting due to it having more tie-ins with the DC universe. The show has less soap-opera pacing, this makes Arrow the chore I described it as. Other characters you’ll see: Firestorm the Nuclear Man, General Wade Eiling (the always awesome Clancy Brown) and obviously Green Arrow. Compared to Arrow, I prefer the long-term arc in The Flash which is a spoiler so I’ll skip it. Can’t wait for the second season for I was tipped off about DC’s alternate universes coming into play: the original Flash, Jay Garrick!

Lastly, all I’ll say about Gotham, I watched two episodes and hated it. I know it’s a re-interpretation on how the Batman/Gotham City mythos came to be. It’s all the annoying synchronicity I can’t tolerate. To me, it’s not interesting, it’s lazy. Sure, some of the criminal elements were always there before Bruce Wayne put on the cowl: the Penguin, the Falcone Crime Family and I’m sure Poison Ivy and Catwoman were children. It’s having the future Catwoman be a witness to Dr. and Martha Wayne’s murder I find lame or Edward Nygma (Riddler) as a forensic scientist with GCPD or watching Jim Gordon’s earlier police career. If there’s no Batman or the possible predecessor vigilante, the Reaper or even Jonah Hex from the 1870s, this program has little purpose.

Part Two, when I get to them, Supergirl and Legends of Tomorrow.

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Uncle Nick is an acquired taste and my new tradition

Another movie which may or may not have blown through theaters last year but I knew about it courtesy of Posehn’s now gone podcast Nerd Poker. For some, their tradition is Diehard or Gremlins, this one is more my pace.

Uncle Nick is about a family’s Christmas gathering set in Cleveland, to me, it’s more than Mistake on the Lake, it’s the American Capital of Hasbeenlandia, plus every person I ever met from there at Marquette was a douche or Marillion fanatic. The city is important because Nick’s narration about a famous baseball game is the framing device around what transforms into a familial disaster.

The title character, Uncle Nick, is the alcoholic older brother who runs the family’s landscaping business. He’s rather resentful of his younger brother Cody for several reasons: Cody married the wealthy, older Sophie; Sophie also divorced her husband of 21 years for Cody; Cody is lazy; and he contributes nothing towards their mother’s nursing home/care. Nick’s sister Michelle and brother-in-law Kevin are too financially strapped to help too. Adding to the boiling tension is Cody’s stepdaughter, 20-year-old Valerie. Nick has an unhealthy attraction to her and Valerie seems to enjoy the game of Lolita they’re playing.

Plenty of alcohol keeps being adding throughout the day and inevitably it all hits the fan after Nick’s family’s tradition on how they play the white elephant game. Is it funny? In a dark way. I could relate somewhat. My own biological family shares some of the resentment minus the drinking. The running joke about Kevin’s podcast was clever, I also know the sting of just sending out messages in a bottle no one gives a damn about. Posehn was the perfect comedian to play Nick. His stand-up persona is pretty close to the character: boorish, blunt and gross.

I’d say, give Uncle Nick a try, especially if you enjoy Posehn’s stand-up. It’s not a rapid-fire movie of jokes, it’s a slow boil and situational comedy. Missi Pyle, Paget Brewster and Scott Adsit are excellent supporting actor’s to Posehn’s starring turn.

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Welcome Ansel!

Ansel was born this week (another 12/7 baby!) and he’s the son of a co-worker named Heather who is also pretty cool. This young man is going to have a great childhood because his parents are just as crazy about Lego as we are!

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Moana Worth Seeing

A new take on the princess formula with better songs than the über redundant hit from Frozen. I had no idea that Dwayne Johnson could sing.

The premise, the usual, a strong young woman upsetting the status quo. In Moana’s case, venturing beyond a reef near her island home to restore a magical stone (a god’s heart) that was stolen by a mischievous, vain demigod named Maui. There’s a couple songs but at least they don’t jolt the movie’s pacing.

Why is it worth seeing though? For me it was seeing Disney diversify itself. The Pacific Islanders retain their features, they’re not (especially Moana) Aryanized like most princesses. The other was Jemaine Clement’s appearance as an ocean monster singing a Bowie-esque song.

The kids will love it. The girls have Moana and boys have Maui. Heck, I’m sure there can be a gender swap on what the kids will like. Adults? It’s predictable and still formulaic but it isn’t as boring as Frozen.

Alamo Extras: We arrived a bit late so we only caught a Felix the Cat cartoon of his underwater adventure and some old films showing Polynesian musical acts from the Thirties.

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Pacific Heat is Netflix’s first big misstep

This is the worst export from Australia since Silverchair’s debut album. When it comes to an adult animated comedy I didn’t think Netflix could have anything more unfunny than Brickleberry, I was sadly mistaken.

The premise is about four elite police officers taking on various threats (drugs, espionage, terrorism) in Australia’s Gold Coast, I think that would be mainly Brisbane. The main cop is vain, slightly dumb. Two partners are stupid and the other is a competent nag. They’re also assisted by the stereotypical tech wizard and the angry boss. For all practical purposes it’s an Aussie ripoff of Archer. Hell it’s even produced by Murdoch’s Australian version of FX. Pacific fails in two areas. First is the comedy. The writers go with this rapid fire banter filled with continuous jokes resulting in “more is less.” Archer lets the dialog breathe to make the callback jokes more effective. Second is the animation/art, it’s  cheap looking. Again, Archer uses rotoscoping yet its creator built upon what was learned re-animating Sealab 2021 and has tighter lines to keep the look smooth. Pacific is reminiscent of those cheap home kits Beavis and Butt-head made their initial appearances on.

Maybe Pacific Heat is Netflix’s filler for not getting F is For Family‘s second season done in a year. Either way, I would only say this is worth watching if you don’t care about pissing away a few hours of your life. If you want something as funny as Archer, accept no substitutes, watch Archer or try to hunt down reruns of Sealab 2021 and Home Movies.

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Christmas present for a friend

djkathymini

My co-worker/friend Kathy is a DJ and a hoot. So for Christmas I scored some pieces from the Lego Store (namely the records and microphone), looked up some designs/pictures on the Internet of other designs and made a DJ stand for her avatar. The minifig with the Egyptian hair isn’t Kathy, she prefers the person in the unicorn costume. It went over very well. I hope she takes her miniature version of herself to gigs.

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Rock-climbing cat

If only my cats could be that inspired!

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Arrival: Acquired taste

arrival

It’s great to see some more cerebral Sci-Fi! Not the usual explosion-laden, aliens-as-a-surrogate for an Other America is supposed to hate. I’m amazed this movie even got made but I guess the studio approved Arrival when they looked at the cast.

The story takes place around now given the technology, dress, etc. when the aliens show up in about a dozen different global locations. Of course they have at least one ship in America, we’re pretty important, yet they chose Montana instead of LA or New York City. Dr. Banks is brought in by the Army for her expertise on linguistics since initial attempts at understanding the aliens have failed; their verbal language sounds like unintelligible grunts to us.

Afterwards, the movie is a series of scenes involving Banks and physicist Donnelly figuring out how to communicate through written language. They’re not alone, the other nations with aliens in their backyards are sharing what they’ve learned, oddly. Then matters hit a crisis, otherwise there wouldn’t really be a movie. The climax is how Banks gets everything back on track because everyone is worried about what kind of whoop-ass the aliens could unleash on the world.

One major point Arrival makes is about language. For those of us mono-lingual Americans, trying to learn something beyond English is hard. Why? The key is to think in the language you’re learning. Romantic languages, not too bad, they have numerous cognates. Asian and Middle-Eastern? They’re rather alien to us. Now try to imagine what Dr. Banks is attempting with creatures who write lumpy circles of squid ink.

Alamo Extras: Yeasayer video; Trailers for Have Rocket, Will Travel (Three Stooges), 2001, Contact, The Day The Earth Stood Still and Abbott & Costello Go To Mars; French music video of a space woman and another involving little green men; Saucer man cartoon (looked awful); the Babel sequence from Metropolis; an Italian music video of English gibberish (intentionally); Monty Python’s Hungarian translation book skit; Bosnians covering Serge Gainsbourg; Kanji tattoos that make no sense; and a band that put the lyrics to The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air through Google translate.

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Austin Toy Museum

The Battle of Hoth

The Battle of Hoth

Every time I went to WizWorld, this organization brought a diorama to advertise their existence. So Somara and I finally checked the place out. It’s located downtown and on the East side of the interstate in a modest-sized building.

Overall it was a fantastic trip down memory lane. The place has extensive collections of the heavy hitters: Kenner’s Star Wars line, Hasbro’s GI Joe from the Eighties, Mattel’s He-Man and the rather recent Simpsons action figures. There’s also video games over the years, starting from the Magnavox system which was just a series of overlays you put on the TV. Many toys are arranged into dioramas but some are just on display to check out.

As for kids going? They may be bored while their parents gush on about what mom and dad had or haven’t seen in decades. The scavenger hunt may keep the children entertained but I think they’ll be frustrated over the lack of things they can touch/play with. Still, I highly recommend the place. If you’re into toys like I am, it can take over an hour to look over their collections. The museum also takes donations which are tax deductible. Somara and I are glad we can find a new home for old toys we’d like to clear out in reducing our clutter.

Tickets are cheaper if you buy them online.

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Stars win their 300th game (last week)

It was awesome too, they totally shutout their only remaining nemesis, the San Antonio Rampage. Solid passing and strong offense.

So let’s see, this their eighth season but it’s barely begun, subtract 10 for now, divide by seven…they have averaged winning 41-plus games every season. With the seasons being around 78 games, they’re pretty good!

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