Recuperating…but still a little tired

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Need to catch up on some laundry, namely the new underwear I bought from MeUndies.com. I like American Apparel but given their financial predicament, I wanted to give this company a try as a way to pay back the podcast Stuff You Missed in History Class. I also fell asleep in the final act of our DVD of Inside Out, I know how it ends, I just want to enjoy in its entirety. The extra cartoon “Riley’s First Date” was clever, not as good as the Jack Jack misadventure. I also went to the gym to get two miles in!

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Darn rain, weather and a cold coming on, maybe

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For the month of November I managed to get every Friday off, too bad there’s only four this year. We lucked out again to receive three extra days from work and since I already scored Black Friday (as per tradition), I decided to set all of them up to have three-day weekends. Pretty sweet. I get paid and I don’t have to show up!

However, as I’m entering my first three-day stint, it has been raining, I’m fighting off a sore throat, I’m a tad tired, I ache a bit and I feel like a cold is starting. Suck! The plan is to take it relatively easy, endure the nine hours at work, run like hell when it’s quitting time, grab my new comics, enjoy Somara’s slated batch of chicken and dumplings, curl up in bed with a fully-charged iPad and watch some more Arrow. I initially didn’t like the first couple episodes, it was too much a poor-man’s Batman. Then came all the crossovers with The Flash so I’m enduring the first two seasons. See if it improves.

Or maybe I'll fall asleep on the couch.

Or maybe I’ll fall asleep on the couch.

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Abrams could still ruin it

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A possible new contender to wear on December 17

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I guess I will take the ice…

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While I was about to have my car inspected at the dealership, I took in a quick breakfast with the nearby MacDo’s (the French slang term). There wasn’t a Starbucks for my caffeine fix nor any other coffee shop, so I gambled on the chain’s automated solution. Wow. They take their portioning rather seriously because the others have no trouble filling up the gap with milk. I doubt there was much in there to begin with, it was a mouthful of some milk, espresso and a beaucoup syrup. Ugh.

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Chris Sarandon

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Wiz World Austin wasn’t a complete bust this year. Sure it was only over two days. Sure Peter Weller bailed with three days to go (his VIP package was Somara’s birthday present). Sure all the major vendors skipped because it’s not worth dragging all their gear out for two days and a 6 PM closing on a Saturday. But Chris Sarandon was there!

Many of you know him as the villain Prince Humperdinck in The Princess Bride, a favorite in my top 10 easily. The Goth crowd know he’s Jack Skellington’s voice in The Nightmare before Christmas and for me, the great modern-day vampire Jerry Dandridge in Fight Night.

He enjoyed my little story about meeting Christopher Guest and laughed over how so many technical documents for troubleshooting computers give a symptom of partially dead. Remember, dead says it all, unlike The Princess Bride, there’s no state for electronics called “mostly dead.”

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Bridge of Spies: Worth seeing

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Spielberg and Hanks team up again to cover the next chapter of American History after Saving Private Cliché back in 1998, aka Spielberg Americanizes Stalingrad. Still, I couldn’t help but like this little Thriller-Drama-History puff piece despite it playing fast and loose with facts. It’s why Hollywood now uses their disclaimer “Inspired by True Events”…translation, we changed up a crap-load of facts because the Pentagon would withdraw our access to records/access and the truth is “boring.” How I wish I had more time/energy to read a book which could sort out the reality since the History Channel has become another outlet for terrible “reality” programming when it’s not airing more WWII nostalgia. One thing that was surprising, Hanks’ character, James B Donovan really did defend the Soviet spy Abel and negotiated the exchange of Powers. Donovan isn’t an amalgamation of several people to save time and generate more sympathy.

The trailers give away what I’m about to state so fear not, besides, this is History which rarely has spoilers.

Bridge begins with the capture of Rudolf Abel, a Soviet operative posing as an artist and member of the hollow-nickel network (the movie makes it appear he worked alone). This is about 1957. The FBI’s evidence is pretty damning; Abel has the gear plus he’s illegally residing in the US. He speaks with an Irish brogue (technically he was born in northern England) which probably helped mask his Soviet citizenship. This being the Fifties, before Guantanamo, the Federal government decides it’s best give Abel a competent defense. The outcome would be guilty regardless, the Feds just want to put up a show to the world demonstrating the “fairness” of the American justice system.

Enter Donovan. The trailer is misleading. He’s just an insurance lawyer. Not really. Donovan was with a firm that worked on insurance lawsuits. During WWII and for a while after, he was an assistant to Justice Robert H Jackson at the Nuremberg trails against the Nazis. Charges with a death penalty sentence were nothing new to him. Obviously Donovan and Abel lose, American paranoia over the Soviet Union is irrational. The FBI failing to have a warrant? Not important. Abel is spared the electric chair for a sentence covering the remainder of his natural life.

Fast forward several years (1960), something Spielberg fails to tell the audience. A former Air Force pilot named Francis Gary Powers is flying his U-2 spy plane over the Soviet Union in had been a routine intelligence gathering mission. For years, the CIA and military contractor were confident the Soviets would never have the means to shoot one down with their “primitive” weaponry. Well, they do in 1960. The CIA tries to cover it up as a weather plane from NASA going off course, certain of Powers’s death and the aircraft’s destruction. No dice. The plane is mostly intact for the Soviets to dissect and Powers is very much alive. He is interrogated/tortured, tried and sentenced to a decade in a Soviet prison.

Donovan returns to aid the CIA’s negotiations to swap Abel for Powers. East Germany’s Berlin wall-building complicates the situation. Then an American graduate student named Fred Pryor gets arrested by GDR soldiers, prompting the Soviets and East Germans to pull a bait-and-switch on America: Abel for Pryor, they keep Powers. Our hero, America’s favorite two-time Oscar® winner, won’t have this. The remainder of the film is how he succeeds in getting back two Americans for one Soviet.

Tom Hanks does pull off a great performance. I still kept waiting for those Hanksisms like when he raises his voice to spazz a la Woody, “You…are…a…spy!” Nah, he just stays this uber calm, master diplomat, even when he’s being robbed by East German teenagers for his overcoat. He probably also plays down Donovan’s own patriotism and/or flaws, the real guy wasn’t big on racial integration when he became the head of New York’s BOE. The movie ends with an oddly factual epilog too.

Now the quick Hollywood v. History element, or calling bullshit on Spielberg because many Americans will lazily believe the whole thing as fact.

  • Abel’s time in the US was a failure. He didn’t score anything which could compromise American security and he failed to recruit anyone willing to sell secrets to the USSR. Why the KGB was willing to take him back is a mystery. The FBI only caught him due to another Soviet operative accidentally spending a hollow nickel. Eventually the nickel was discovered by a paperboy. From there it worked its way up to the FBI’s attention. Hoover’s FBI couldn’t pour piss out of a boot with the instructions on the heel let alone catch a real threat.
  • The U-2 incident did embarrass Eisenhower during the waning days of his presidency. Soviet leader Kruschev had been accusing America of these spy missions. Ike always denied them. Hell, thanks to the U-2, he knew there was no “missile gap” yet lacked the courage to tell the American people, the golfing president continued to let the country feed into its own hysteria. Anyway, Ike had to change his tune with Kruschev presented Powers. Suddenly, the U-2 existed! The egotistical Orangemen band took this name due to America spying on everybody. Sadly, this have been proven very true lately.
  • In the Nineties, I read David Halberstam’s The Fifties. It contained a chapter about the U-2. The pilots never trusted their CIA handlers. In Bridge, the instructor shows how the plane’s self-destruct mechanism is set to go off in 70 seconds. Powers may not have ever armed it because he and his fellow aviators suspected the CIA had it set to go off immediately to guarantee no prisoners.

Putting aside the holes, Bridge remains a good film. It’s not Hanks nor Spielberg’s best. It won’t get any Oscar nods, they released it too early, the Academy can only remember what is in theaters from Christmas to late January. I liked Bridge for the chance to see something other than the usual tent-pole offerings I attend. I think casual fans of drama, History and Tom Hanks will enjoy it too.

Alamo Extras: A silent movie clip showing an early spy story; some English big band doing a comedy bit about Russia; trailer for the movie Spy in the Sky; Madness’ video “Uncle Sam”; toy commercial for Ideal’s fighter jet console (pretty expensive then); Boney M’s video “Rasputin”; Spy v. Spy cartoon; Zlad!’s video “Elektronik Supersonik”; and for reason’s unknown, the turgid Joanna Newsom video “Divers” again.

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Calvin and Hobbes’ anniversary month

The theme for November came together even faster than I planned! Certainly friendlier than reminding everyone about the election of Reagan…the anti-FDR and one of the worst presidents ever.

No, Calvin and Hobbes is a more pleasant topic because it was one of the last great daily newspaper strips published. Today, I doubt something like Bill Watterson’s creation would have the reach it once did because the Internet just doesn’t have the reach it likes to boast. There were other great strips preceding it and a couple more appeared before newspapers declined into the dying empires they are today, but they just didn’t appeal to such a wide audience. Dilbert involves workplace idiocy, kids don’t get it. Foxtrot was family stuff, again, lost on kids and many adults just roll their eyes. Bloom County was satire, less than half of America understood it, especially during the anti-ironic Reagan era. Doonesbury was relegated to the editorial page, hell, my grandmother’s GOP uber alles-excuse called The Daily Pantagraph printed Bloom County there.

Watterson’s strip was something new and refreshing. His vast talent helped immensely too. Not too many cartoonists can switch between realism and a cartoony look. The subject matter was also easy to relate to. When I was a small kid, I didn’t have Calvin’s imagination or imaginary friend, yet I always remembered the “unfairness” of adults, the drudgery of school and having to find ways to entertain myself before iPads and kick-ass gaming consoles.

It sucks there’s only about a decade of material. On the other hand, Watterson did the right thing. He quit while he was ahead, before his creation wore out its welcome and evolved into space filler, most comic strips today if anyone bothers to read physical newspapers anymore. Does anybody get excited about what kind of sandwich Dagwood is going to make or what his boss will kick him in the ass for? Then again, you’ll never see a bumpersticker of Dagwood urinating on the Chevy logo or on his knees praying.

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Patton Oswalt ranked the GOP debaters in D&D terms

Comedian Patton Oswalt decided to endure the pain of the latest GOP circle jerk, never mind that the election is a year away but I also loved how it was also his middle finger to fantasy football fanatics. The latter little hobby was amusing, adorable, it was right there with the office betting pool my old man used to participate in when he was a slave to “Big Jim” Thompson’s Illinois Fiefdom. Now fantasy sports are ubiquitous and annoying like anything coming out of Taylor Swift’s noise hole and bacon “jokes.”

On the other side of the coin, Patton’s D&D jokes are dead on but I think a general audience will understand his point, namely through the zingers. You can see the original posts here. I decided to make a short cut on my site because they’re too damned funny and I wanted to save my fellow gamers a little time.

  • Ted Cruz = dwarf cleric with 3 Charisma.
  • John Kasich = level 4 fighter with standard plate armor and a standard long sword, 10 strength.
  • Chris Christie = shambling mound.
  • Carly Fiorinia = level 5 Drow elf with a + 1 Ring of Vampiric regeneration.
  • Rand Paul = halfling thief.
  • Jeb Bush = NPC with 8s in all attributes and leather armor.
  • Ben Carson = necromancer, 19 intelligence, 4 wisdom.
  • Marco Rubio = paladin, 18 charisma, all other stats 9, cursed broadsword.
  • Mike Huckabee = gelatinous cube.
  • Trump = level 21 demi-liche, Lamarkin’s Rod of Disease, Cloak of Revulsion.

Too bad Scott “Dropout” Walker and Rick “Goodhair” Perry dropped out, Patton would’ve had some tasty zingers for them. The candidates stuck at the kids table are a waste of energy. Being a Texas resident in Austin, he was too generous to Ted Cruz, the Teabagger with Romney’s dead eyes has NO CHARISMA, even amongst his fellow Republicans in Washington.

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Elvis Costello at Book People

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Photo courtesy of Todd Crusham

Once again, life and stress got in the way of getting this story out in a timely manner plus I let down the very nice photographer who gave me permission to use this picture he took, I couldn’t even see thanks to assholes standing on stools. Check out Todd Crusham’s Flickr page.

So Elvis Costello dropped by in mid October to promote his memoirs or autobiography, can’t recall which. I will get around to reading it like the other two-dozen autographed books I have lying around in the “office.” What makes his different according to him was it doesn’t necessarily go in chronological order. Elvis didn’t want to repeat the usual route may bios take. It was pretty funny to hear that he’d been approached to write one when he was only 24, the usual quick cash grab on a rising star.

Now I’m not a huge fan, this was a Christmas present for my friend and concert buddy Mark. He’s the fan and I’m a bit jealous, since he’s a little older, he saw Costello in his prime plus Mark to hear the music when it was new. I on the other hand, learned the hits back in Houston when KLOL would play “Watching the Detective” or “(The Angels Wanna Wear My) Red Shoes.” By the time I started college in 1986, he was going through a crummy stage in his career.

Elvis is a great storyteller in person. He amused the crowd by showing this clip of his father’s career. Then came the Q&A which was moderator via some guy with Texas Monthly or whatever. The topics appeared to be rather boilerplate stuff he’s been answering throughout the tour: what was it like working with Paul McCartney in the late Eighties; Burt Bacharach in the Nineties (like getting his homework corrected); I forgot he sang a song with Daryl Hall (I even saw the video); wish someone asked him about the Eurythmics, he did a duet with Annie on “Adrian;” and of course, what was the real story over his being “banned” from SNL after performing “Radio Radio” against the orders of Lorne Michaels or some NBC  brass; his brief career in computer science; and learning the ropes from the legendary (to us) Nick Lowe.

Mark and I did have a good time despite it being a mini-marathon of standing. I’m not sure if Austin was a unique stop for the finale. Elvis was joined by an old bandmate from his “high school” days. They did a Buffalo Springfield cover and Van Morrison’s “Domino.”

I am looking forward to Elvis’ side of the stories. Even if you don’t like him (my mother had a weird, unexplained hatred) or have no idea, his influence continues today. He recently did an album with the Roots and for me, I recall he produced some work with Squeeze and Superdrag borrowed his early sound in the Nineties.

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Italian #37: Al Molinaro

I’ll close out this year’s celebration of Italians with the news about Al. He passed away yesterday at 96! What a run for that guy, I’m debating whether or not I want to live so long given the ruthless nature of American Capitalism.

Anyway, many my age will always remember him as Al, the guy who took over Arnold’s from Pat Morita on Happy Days. When the show ended, I frequently saw him in commercials plugging On-Cor frozen food; that stuff was the equivalent of frozen Sbarro, but it was affordable. It was great to see him return in Weezer’s “Buddy Holly” video as he closed with his signature catchphrase, “yup yup yup.”

Before Happy Days, I would see him in The Odd Couple sitcom through its syndication. Al was the recurring character Murry, an NYC flatfoot. I think he was Oscar’s friend since cop work seemed a little untidy for Felix.

Last known fact about him, Al was born and raised in Kenosha, WI. His obit in the New York Times mentions. I knew all along because when I first visited Milwaukee in May 1986, some stranger at the downtown Howard Johnson’s restaurant told me, along with Daniel Travanti (Hill Street Blues). Can’t remember why he shared this piece of trivia.

Farewell Al. Off to the great diner in the sky or maybe he’ll be haunting Kopp’s Frozen Custard, the alleged inspiration for the long-running show.

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Italians #36: Paul and Mira Sorvino

October is running out and these entries do take some extraordinary effort. So I’m going with a semi-famous father-daughter acting team…well, team is a stretch, I think they’ve only done two movies together.

Paul you most likely recognize. He played the crime boss in Goodfellas, the role which probably rejuvenated his career. Most TV/Film appearances he had were as a heavy: a general, a gruff doctor, a gangster and even an appearance on Star Trek: The Next Generation as a Russian. Scorsese’s casting helped him stand out somewhat. My favorite appearance was the voice of the villain in the Hey Arnold movie.

His background certainly fits the stereotype in many cop/gangster roles. Paul is a first-generation American on his dad’s side while his mother is descended from Italians too.

Mira is a somewhat different story. She is Paul’s daughter from his first marriage and not surprisingly, he discouraged her from going into acting. She put the decision a bit on hold, attended Harvard, majored in Chinese (fluent speaker of Mandarian) and then went right back into the fight. Mira had a big push of roles in the Nineties, one won her the Oscar (Mighty Aphrodite) for best supporting actress. Sadly, her career went the F. Murray Abraham route. There were a slew of movies getting attention, my personal favorite being Romy & Michele’s High School Reunion yet one’s mileage runs out after a string of flops. Lately, she appears as a guest on TV shows and small movie roles.

I did read an interview Mira gave for The Onion a couple years ago. She usually tries to balance her work against spending time with her four kids, thus staying away is often a disqualifier.

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Force Awakens tickets redux

Here’s why it pays to check your credit card statements online every couple of days.

I found a $66 charge from Alamo Drafthouse I didn’t recognize, so I called to ask them. I probably figured I would need to speak to someone about getting a refund due to the server fiascos on Monday night.

The nice lady at the box office said the charge was for my tickets to The Force Awakens. I was like, “I never received a confirmation so I figured it’s a glitch. I mean, got close but then the site choked right when I pressed purchase.”

“Oh no,” she replied, “you have seats 11-13, eighth row (the theater’s last row), Thursday night, 7 PM. Congratulations!”

“These come with the glasses right?”

“Yes but we’ll be giving out vouchers. Sorry. I’d recommend you pick up the tickets up tomorrow when you see Bridge of Spies.”

SUCK IT UNIVERSE!

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Crimson Peak: Worth Seeing

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Somara won last week’s coin toss since the choices were this or Bridge of Spies plus I wanted her to come to my spy flick, therefore sitting through Horror is the compromise in marriage. Crimson Peak was a pleasant surprise given how the genre tends to Eli Roth’s gorenography being the dominant style, overshadowing the rich legacy encompassing the Universal Monsters. Then again, I only know del Toro’s work via Pacific Rim, Hellboy and the turgid Hobbit trilogy. Hollywood marketing may turn this into an undeserved flop, eventually joining Nathan Rabin’s string of movies he will either call a failure, secret success or fiasco. Keep in mind, he thinks Freddie Got Fingered a secret success, ugh, Tom Green needs to be deported back to Canada.

Moving along, Crimson Peak is more along the lines of Edgar Allen Poe or Nathaniel Hawthorne but set a couple generations after them. The heroine Edith is an only child to a construction magnate in Buffalo, NY sometime after 1900 yet before WWI due to there being early cars present. Edith believes in ghosts thanks to an encounter she had with her dead mother’s spirit when she was about 10. Now she’s in her early twenties on the fast track to spinsterhood. This doesn’t bother her. Edith is writing a novel like her heroine Mary Shelley.

Enter the Sharpes. They’re a pair of aristocratic siblings (brother and sister) from the UK. Thomas has come to America to find funding for a mechanized digging machine to harvest the red clay in his part of England. It’s supposed to have superior qualities with construction projects. His older sister Lucille provides counsel and whatever unmarried women were stuck in then. Initially Edith finds the Sharpes to be parasites since they’re people who born to titles which provides privilege without hard work; her father is a rags-to-riches story. Thomas proves to be charming, sincere and plays to Edith’s sympathy. Obviously, they marry. It’s in the trailers. Besides, there wouldn’t be much of a movie if they didn’t.

The trio returns to the Sharpe estate, a rickety mansion which creaks, groans and oozes the infamous red clay from its walls (aka, symbolic blood). It’s also sinking. Soon Edith starts to piece together the reality of the situation through all of del Toro’s scary techniques and effects.

I did like Crimson more than I planned. There were a couple moments I jumped and another in which I was unnerved. This is good Horror. There was no gratuitous violence, sex or whatever the hacks use to attract teenagers to the theaters. It’s beautiful time-period piece too. All the bright colors namely. I’ve been away from the Midwest for years yet I could sense the cold, dryness in the old house. Being a del Toro movie though, some of his past regulars make brief appearances: Charlie Humman (England’s poor-man sub for a Hemmsworth brother) and Burn Gorman (I keep forgetting he isn’t English thanks to being a member of Torchwood); sadly no Ron Perlman or Jeffrey Tambor.

I would say check it out. It’s a grown-up Horror movie, not a crazy slasher killing teenagers who have sex in the woods. It’s not the worn-out zombie film. It’s not a giant monster going on a rampage. It lastly, it’s thankfully not another re-make of the monsters behind the genre being made into sympathetic characters. The Horror element is what made The Blair Witch Project initially work but follows through; What’s scarier? The wolf you see or the unknown number of wolves behind the door?

Alamo Extras: A silent movie showing ballet; a haunted house commercial from New Jersey circa the Seventies or Eighties; a silent movie showing early special effects incorporating ghosts set to a song about a haunted house; Scenes from a couple Italian horror movies: The Whip & The Body and Kill Baby Kill (del Toro was aiming for this in Crimson‘s color palette); trailer for The Night of the Doomed; some unknown Horror short film; a Joanna Newsom video which wore on everyone’s nerves…not even Kate Bush’s worst stuff is as boring as this was.

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Welcome Wilia

Wilia

The newest addition (or is it edition?) to the Kirk family. With three daughters, Aaron and his wife whose name rudely evades me, they should form a singing girl group!

Wilia was born on October 13, same day as fictional character Fox Mulder! So there’s a chance she may share the obsession with flying saucers and alien visitors.

Looking forward to meeting the little Kirk. Babies always have puzzling expressions when they’re first born.

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