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Our Man in Charleston by Christopher Dickey
My first book from the Pflugerville Public Library! Visiting the place has been one of the good discoveries during my Summer journey. I’ve lived at my house for almost 14 years and never checked out the joint. During the initial trip I saw this book in their new arrivals section and it prompted me to get a library card to borrow this. I did alright, I managed to complete reading this in over two weeks; only had to renew once (I’m a very slow reader).
Quick background on the author: Dickey is a writer for the Daily Beast, a site from what I can see on the surface is trying to compete with Salon, Slate, Gawker and every other opinion portal. No idea which way it leans nor do I care, I was curious about Dickey’s take on how a British consul could be a secret agent.
Our Man covers events beginning in the early 1850s with the protagonist Charles Bunch being assigned consul to Charleston, SC. Before the rules (maybe laws/treaties) for ambassadors, consuls and other diplomatic staff were more formalized in the Twentieth Century, matters were incredibly ambiguous which is how I think Dickey gets his spy angle. What Bunch “gathered” was rather innocuous by today’s standards, aka overt intelligence: newspaper clippings, gossip, anecdotes and personal opinions, hardly espionage. In the 1800s, his activities would be viewed from rude to espionage since it’s outside of a standard consul’s loosely defined duties…take care of commercial matters your sponsoring government wants handled.
Upon arrival Bunch did have a huge job cut out for him.
- The previous consul (an aristocrat) was hated and asked not to return.
- The UK wants SC’s Negro Seaman Act amended to exclude Black UK citizens, namely their merchant sailors. Black crewmen from foreign vessels were imprisoned for the duration of the ship’s stay and upon release, the ship’s captain had to reimburse the state for “housing” the sailors.
- He isn’t from an aristocratic family, thus there’s some institutional snobbery within the Foreign Office against him.
- Bunch believes slavery immoral but he has to protect the UK’s commercial interests first; 80 percent of the cotton UK manufacturers use comes from the South. He is thoroughly English, he considers the Irish to be sub-human.
- Charleston is nearly inhospitable during the late Spring to early Fall. Outbreaks of yellow fever kill hundreds every year.
- Lastly, it’s the Nineteenth Century. People settle disputes more violently.
Dickey pieces together Bunch’s activities through letters, newspaper accounts and what is on record from all the involved governments. The focus isn’t exclusively on the consul, he brings up details of other events shaping the time, e.g. the US Navy’s interception of the British liner Trent, the 1860 election, the crown prince’s tour of America, slaves being brought to the Western hemisphere in violation of earlier treaties, etc.
The last event on the list is what Bunch deserves the most praise for gathering information about. Contrary to what History books say (or lie about in Texas), Africans being sold into slavery and transported to the Americas never truly ceased until the Civil War’s conclusion. Officially, the US agreed to no more new African-born slaves after 1807 with a 20-year “grace” period. By the 1850s, the majority of slaves in the US were supposed to be born and raised in the Americas. Any who originated from Africa were deceased or elderly. The UK had at least a squadron of warships off the West coast of Africa to enforce this. The US assisted but under pre-Lincoln administrations, our navy did a half-assed job. More often the American Navy protected any ship from being boarded and inspected if it was flying the stars and stripes; a common tactic used by slavers/smugglers. Why was the American government slacking to a treaty it signed? The six million enslaved Blacks in the US weren’t enough and/or they were too expensive to accommodate the country’s Westward expansion. This was a policy secretly promoted by the Southerners holding Federal posts.
Dickey’s conclusion is that Bunch’s work and evidence regarding Southern attitudes helped prevent the Confederacy from gaining any substantive aid from the UK and France. The average European citizen was against slavery. Most members of the UK and French parliaments were against slavery. There were outliers but more often they were slavery apologists for more mercenary reasons (Napoleon III, The Economist). So why was the UK government initially sympathetic to the Confederacy and its “peculiar institution”? Confederate-bias in some UK newspapers, people like to cheer for the underdog, fear of the US annexing Canada, the US blockade of the South was rather thin and Federal forces failing to secure an easy victory during the initial campaign of Bull Run/Manassas were on the Prime Minister’s mind. The author seems to lay significant blame at Secretary of State William Seward’s feet too; Seward is portrayed as volatile and inconsistent. Despite all these factors giving the Confederacy an opportunity to receive some legitimate recognition from the UK government collapsed. Whenever Confederate officials were confronted by the English about reopening the African slave trade, the South’s boilerplate response of “The (Confederacy’s) Constitution outlaws the importation of Africans” failed to appease the Brits. I think the UK saw through the Confederate wiggle room; the Confederacy won’t do this yet there’s no guarantee with the individual 11 states or citizens.
I recommend Charleston to Civil War buffs and history fans. To the casual reader, it can be a chore to read.
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Tagged US Civil War
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Get away from the Alamo you bitch!
Tiki pondering their return
The cat with some serious lungs is hanging out where nobody can easily pet him, staring into space, maybe hoping to catch his humans’ plane on its approach. Nah. Probably watching all those birds, lizards and squirrels who taunt him when he’s not allowed to be outside. Tiki listens to Tom and Alaire. With Somara and me, he treats us like substitute teachers as he leads us on exhausting chases.
Overall, he and his “brothers” (Angel and Jack) have been well behaved this stint. No escapes, no serious messes, just the usual antics. For Tiki, it’s his voice. For a little cat (under 10 pounds), his lungs could outmatch an opera singer. I wouldn’t exchange the fun I’ve had with him for anything because when you pick him up, his purr engine gets rolling and he makes humans melt with how cute he really is. I wonder if cats are aware of this? I think the jury remains out within the Scientific community due to cats having limited intelligence and memory compared to primates.
Angel trying to live up to his name’s rep
Normally this giant furball (he’s often pretty sweet except during baths and medication) prefers to sleep on the grand digital piano. Recently I spotted him by my friend’s classical (or is it concert-hall) harp. I like how he mews for the camera, most cats know they’re being recorded so they clam up on me.
Happy Birthday Hunter!
Today is the big 1-6 for the oldest of the Aaron n’ Anje set (I went by alphabetical order, not gender). I wonder if he’s eligible to drive in Qatar via their laws/rules or maybe he can have an international driver’s license like exchange students have when they visit the States/Canada?
I wish he were here to celebrate. The amount of Legos we’ve piled up lately through Pinballz and rewards systems. Could use the additional hands and brains to create stuff. However, I remember quickly that girls are probably his primary concern followed by school, chores, swimming, eating and keeping his pesky younger brothers out of his room. The order of the latter listing varies on a daily basis if teenager-hood has remained the same for over a century. Oh wait, if he were here, he could drive my car a little! Sweet. I always wanted a chauffeur! Plus most teens love any opportunity to get behind the wheel! I was a weird exception. Everybody’s a winner! OK, I’m not as lazy as it sounds. Hunter and Nick (the Maggi nephew) are just getting started. I’d take them someplace safe and easy, like a cemetery or residential area. My brother and I may have had the same awful driver’s ed teacher in the Eighties to model ourselves in the opposite way; this crank made us do a stint on I-55 one day; he also loved to liberally apply the teacher’s brake pad at his disposal. Me? By taking the nephews some place easy with less pressure, I would strive to be a nurturing teacher while hiding my panic. I may not enjoy driving but my control issues seem to win out.
Here’s to you Hunter! You’re a cool kid. I hope you’re having (or had, Qatar is nine hours ahead) an awesome day. It’s all about you. Enjoy. Celebrate. Reflect a little, then go have a helluva’ time, jamming out to the tunes you like on your iPhone/iPod. Do me a favor though, tell me what you’re into so I can get you more.
RIP David Noobs, creator of my favorite BritCom
Those of us in certain Nerd and/or Snob Circles may often ask each other, “What’s your favorite BritCom?” I think the frequent answers are Red Dwarf, Fawlty Towers, Black Adder, Absolutely Fabulous, Coupling and Monty Python’s Flying Circus…the latter is more of an ensemble show in the same vein as Key & Peele or SCTV. Mine was and always will be The Fall and Rise of Reginald Perrin since it was the weirdest, most absurd and lastly, the most British (from the Fifties through early Eighties) in personality.
The man who created the character passed away yesterday. I had no idea that Reggie’s debut was originally in a novel. Some things adapt to television so seamlessly you’d never know. Besides Reggie, he wrote and created other things. Mr. Noobs’ best-known protagonist was in the middle of his career. The humor involved in the three seasons of Fall (or what the Brits call series) translated very easily to America since boredom from being in a rut is universal. Maybe the second and third would have some difficulty as I’ll explain later. When I read Mr. Noobs’ obituary from the link above, I discovered the man’s past credentials: The Week That Was (an English predecessor to SNL’s Weekend Update and The Daily Show from how I understand it) and The Two Ronnies (no opinion, I just know it’s a gold standard for UK comedy in the Sixties/Seventies). Therefore, I’m confident, Mr. Noobs had numerous supporters to go through with Fall.
Let me give a quick synopsis of Noobs’ best-known work. The Fall and Rise of Reginald Perrin is about a middle-aged middle manager at a dessert company played by Leonard Rossiter…
Quick digression. Leonard is best known for three things in America; he starred in another BritCom called Rising Damp shown on A&E in the Eighties; he was the Soviet scientist quizzing Dr. Floyd in Kubrick’s 2001: A Space Odyssey; and he was the representative from Scotland Yard Clouseau shot in the ass in The Pink Panther Strikes Again. He sadly passed away in 1984 from a heart attack. Thus, when Noobs did a epilog special in the Nineties for Reggie, it was told from the perspective of the people he hated.
Back to Fall…
To break out of the monotony, Reggie begins to daydream. These were done as jump cuts to illustrate what was on the character’s mind. Boredom isn’t Reggie’s only nemesis, Noobs’ show is an ancestor to Mike Judge’s work Office Space with Reggie’s co-workers and relatives who tend to speak in clichés to cover up their incompetence, indifference or both. Eventually, Reggie follows through on doing what was shown in the opening credits; he strips off all his clothes and fakes his death at the white cliffs of Dover. Then he returns in the guise of a pen-pal from South America, remarries his wife and lands the same dead-end job. When the ruse is revealed, the boss promptly fires him, his wife stays and Reggie becomes a pig farmer. Around the second season, I recall he loses the pig-farm job but is inspired to start a store called Grot where everything in it is guaranteed to be useless. Grot becomes a runaway success yet Reggie quickly realizes despite being the boss, he finds the experience hollow. He formulates a plan to destroy Grot from within by hiring three of the most incompetent people he can find and instead, they make the corporation a global sensation. I can’t remember how Reggie eliminates Grot but I do know the last season involves Reggie running a weird commune with the supporting characters front he previous episodes.
It wasn’t for everybody and the American adaptation starring Richard Milligan on ABC around 1983 was abysmal. Until Bea Arthur took on the US version of Fawlty Towers, Reggie (the US name) was clunky and not funny.
To close, I think my favorite reference to Fall and I hope that Mr. Noobs knew about it was during an episode of MST3K. No idea which movie Joel and the gang were ripping but the scene involved a train. After it “ran over” the viewers, Tom Servo gave Reggie’s standard excuse for why he was 11 minutes late to work (in the show, he’s always 11 minutes behind arriving at work and home).
If you get the chance to see The Fall and Rise of Reginald Perrin, I highly recommend it. You just need to watch it in order, it isn’t a show you can see out of sequence like many Doctor Who adventures or The Prisoner.
Light issues, somewhat solved!
I should’ve hit Specs (the local liquor store chain) sooner. They always have an armada of free boxes. Now I can take pictures/movies under consistent lighting conditions.
Posted in Legos, Toys
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Found my car for a Thundershift 500 rematch!
Mattel got me again, first Jim Rockford’s Firebird from The Rockford Files, now Homer’s awesome card that unfortunately bankrupted his half-brother’s company. It’s even as a die cast toy. What’s most surprising is how much heft (or weight) it has. The wheels under the Homer are slick too.
If I get a rematch via the best Hot Wheels’ track ever made, the Thundershift 500, not the remakes from later decades, this would be my entry. When I was attending St. Matthews in the Seventies, I want to say about fourth grade, one of the cool kids received the toy for Christmas, or a toady, can’t recall clearly. I probably got a turn racing thanks to the teacher enforcing the rules of fairness (so go suck it “nanny state” critics) and I brought my own car. I always thought my Mercedes Benz C111 was a concept car because Hot Wheels were often had exaggerated features. The other kids thought my vehicle was “gay” (the word for “lame” today). I loved it for the gull-wing doors (like a Delorean) and the predominantly red paint job was slick, the car does appear dated now.
When it came to racing, most kids went with Stock Cars (NASCAR style) or what looked like “real” cars. Bwah ha ha! Thanks to my Benz’s weight (it was a little lighter), probably its center of gravity and me having uncharacteristically great timing with the track’s shifter, I often won.
The lesson kids? Just go with the car you like and eventually you’ll get the hang of its quirks. You’ll adjust your timing along with how much force you apply to the shifter. This is the same advice I give for playing pinball, find a machine you like and you’ll figure out its rules and personality.
My nephew Nick is pretty knowledgeable about cars. I will have to ask him if this odd-looking Mercedes was a kick-ass car. The Wikipedia page is filled with terms I cannot comprehend. Wankel engine? Despite being a Benz, I doubt it got good mileage neither. I fear it’s probably the antithesis of my Prius C. Hmm. Maybe my Seventies version of me would be ashamed of sensible-car me. I bet we’d agree on the Homer.
Lady Knight and retainers with a little kit bashing
Helping little girls in my own way, I modified a Playmobil knight package and accessories to make it more diverse. On the left, the knight is a woman (can’t see her braid in the back) who can still wear her helmet should she need to charge into battle. Beside the knight is trusty steed with its full gear (barding and lance). Behind the knight are her retainers (fancy word for employees yet they’d back the knight in battle): a little pegasus, a soldier bearing an axe and shield, another soldier with sword and shield, and a crossbowman to provide cover. Again, the sword wielder was adjusted via a fairy head, hence the big blonde braid down the front.
I think I made a bitchin’ Fantasy set since it’s not historically accurate, c’mon, winged horses aren’t real! Plus the ladies are wearing realistic, appropriate gear, not the more traditional garb designed by Frank Frazetta or Boris Vallejo. Hell, I’d play with these toys, they’re pretty groovy.
If you’d like me to make a set for your kids of any gender, let me know. We can work something out. As you’ve seen in past posts, I tend to work with knights and pirates which are the common genres Playmobil offers.
Adventures in Babysitting #2
Round two of babysitting Ben yesterday. A bigger test, just Ben and me while Mom runs an errand. Why is this a test? Well, sometimes when children get upset, they’re inconsolable without their parents, thus leaving the babysitter in the lurch!
I can proudly say, we had a great and successful time. Ben enjoys pulling off and reseating the eyes on my Muppet Maurice; I’m perfecting my Olaf dancing bit to “In Summer,” (Ben seems to recognize the moves); he goes along with me using a building block as a mobile phone; and the big one…Ben threw a small ball-like object into the air, it landed directly on his head, there was a little hesitation to bawl, but then nothing! Yup! I held it together. No, Ben held it together, gotcha! Oh yeah, we both figured out the cable stalling on the streaming of Frozen. Gotta’ get that kid hooked on a better movie!
Above is a little joke I like to play with the lady dog Lana .
Happy Birthday Dr. Mark
There are at least three Marks in life lately, two have an initial after their names to identity them, this dude receives the title “Dr.” since he has a PhD and I think he’s addressed as so formally. Mark B could have an argument for the same request through his law degree which I’ve been told is equivalent. Somehow, I think tradition and (oddly) legal implications prevent the reciprocation.
Meanwhile, I want to give a more official notice to Dr. Mark. A very smart, thoughtful cookie from Marquette. He excelled at History and lives the dream…teaching it, researching it and writing about it. Pursuing a degree, let alone graduate-level honors, is quite tough to do in America with this subject. For starters, I’ll go with something my deceased Uncle Chief once said in 1985, “The streets are littered with History and English majors.” Spoken like a true, callous person with a Business degree. I beg to differ. Americans are terrible writers, readers, thinkers and have embarrassingly bad grades in History, Science and Civics. Why? Too many were steered away those subjects in pursuit of “practical” shit. Marketing readily comes to mind alongside the sociopaths with MBAs (Bush II). As for Dr. Mark, he went for broke and I think he’s succeeded marvelously. He’s published two books. If Uncle Chief were alive, my counterpoint to him would be, how many articles, papers or books proving your wisdom do you have in circulation? I know I’m behind as I dawdle over the The Great American Novel.
Happy Birthday Dr. Mark. I look forward to reading your latest, as soon as I get through my queue held up by The Martian and that damned Our Man in Charleston taking front cuts. I blame the (American) Civil War ending for the latter.
Vacation: Worth Seeing
When Hollywood dodges the lazy reboot strategy, you can often get an impressive result. Too bad this probably won’t be successful and the VHS-DVD second chance opportunity has evaporated. Vacation recaptured what the original’s two weaker sequels failed to deliver on: dirty humor (hence this was surprisingly an R-rated flick, not a PG-13) and absurdity. Christmas is an exception due to all the holiday jokes (mostly around family and/or Cousin Eddie) it worked in despite Chevy Chase in the starring role. European had its moments yet it was mostly European stereotypes/expectations and Vegas was phoned in during the late Nineties during the city’s stupid “Vegas is for families” era.
The more accurate (while doomed) title is Vacation:The Next Generation because the trip is focused around Rusty Griswold and his family. I loved how the movie makes a reference to the 1983 hit as Rusty explains how the trip isn’t a reboot, it’s entirely different for there are two sons, not a son and daughter. Well, something went wrong with poor Rusty over the last 32 years, he has a crappier job than his father (airline pilot for an el cheapo carrier), one kid is a bully, the other kid he only fumbles with and a wife like his mother who suffers quietly. Driving all of them across America to Wallyworld in LA like his father Clark did is Rusty’s solution to get everyone to reconnect in an era of iPads, social media and keeping up with the Petersens. There wouldn’t be much of a movie if nothing funny happened along the trip.
As I mentioned earlier, Vacation is dirty or filled with vulgar humor. If you’ve seen the red-band trailer, then you already know one ongoing joke involving Rusty’s oblivious nature about his brother-in-law. I think it worked. Often unfunny hacks like Adam Sandler, Tom Green and Lisa Lampanelli go this route but fail. Their jokes are R-rated yet they’re middle-school level schlock. Here, they recaptured more of the awkwardness everyone loved 32 years ago in John Hughes’ story. A couple key demonstrations: Rusty and Debbie going to the four-corners monument and the oldest son trying to impress a girl he meets along the journey. I’m also guilty of enjoying movies filled with cameos from comedians/comic actors I enjoy: Charlie Day, Tim Heidecker, Nick Kroll, Kaitlin Olson, Michael Peña, Keegan-Michael Key, Ron Livingston, Leslie Mann, Chris Hemmsworth and Norman Reedus. It’s not absolutely perfect neither. There were gags they recycled for continuity: the rental vehicle is a freakish monstrosity, gross hotels, driving stunts, animal harm and dad loves a song the kids think is lame.
The bad/tired elements remain outweighed by the clever/genuinely funny. If I actually laughed out loud a few times, then it was good. I’ve said this for over 20 years, most excuses for movie comedies barely get a chuckle out of me. I’m not jaded nor made of iron, Hollywood just doesn’t try very hard on film. Besides, there’s nothing the theater experience adds to 99% of the comedies produced. Their jokes function equally well on a TV or tablet. Event movies need theaters due to sound and scale. I think word-of-mouth will prove me right or wrong, not the final box-office take.
Alamo Extras: This was my free birthday movie and I got there right away, so I experienced how the theater’s sound system calibrates, pretty cool, Alamo does make the effort to do it correctly; music number from Pink Lady & Jeff; unknown Sixties band covering “Summertime Blues,” the trailer for Christmas Vacation; Seal’s video “Kiss From a Rose” which was also a long Batman Forever trailer; anecdote from HuffPo about Josh Falcon’s TSA troubles (the gentleman has a naturally long large body part TSA mistakes for a weapon); a dirty music video starring Josh Falcon and his woes; trailer for Are We There Yet?; a Yugo ad; Homer Simpson buying a foreign car, “remember, put it in H!”; commercial for the Go-Go’s second album Vacation; recording of an elderly non-English-speaking woman on a roller coaster; Tim & Eric bit about going on vacation; comedy skit in Spanish about chicken; Chevy Chase’s singing appearance on The Groove Tube…I forgot the jerk could sing.

