Congratulations Ireland

ireland-yesI’m surprised marriage equality passed let alone with 62%, I figured it was going to lose but by a slim margin. Ireland is rather socially conservative and too wrapped around the Catholic Church compared to its counterparts. Well, France is oddly more homophobic than I thought too.

Either way, this “little” island republic has thrown down the gauntlet to the rest of the Western Empire to put up or shut up. America is looking downright idiotic by only resolving the non-issue through a patchwork of state rulings. In Ireland, it was a tougher fight too. I read how both sides flew in voters who live abroad to participate, I guess absentee ballots aren’t allowed.

Well done Ireland. Well done. You’re still on the hook for your ridiculously draconian ban on reproductive rights and being a corporate tax haven. Let’s see if you can finally address the latter since you did everything “free market” shills like The Economist told you to do and yet when the Great Recession hit your economy tanked worse than France, the UK or Germany despite their debt.

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Poor Willie

simpsontoiletHe doesn’t know that these porta’ potties aren’t hooked up to a sewage line to eliminate what Homer has done.

In the real world, behold a couple of the new Simpsons series two minifigs I have acquired mashed up with an portable toilet from a very odd City line kit. You can’t see it in this photo, but I love how the cylinder-like piece represents a roll of toilet paper. Can’t tell how many ply it is though.

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Happy (belated) 20th Anniversary to Linda and Brian

Darn it! The whole David Letterman and life thing threw me off from remembering that yesterday was the Maggi wedding anniversary, aka the Maggis of California formerly of Chicago. Man, it’s hard to believe it was 20 years ago too. What a great time I will never forget…overall, just not good at scheduling.

What to get them? According to the ‘net, china or platinum. I’m going to investigate the former, see if I can find Linda and Brian something unique and nice. I know I can find a good card soon.

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The wubba lubba dub dub is strong in this one!

ricknmorty-starwarsSpotted at Dragon’s Lair. My favorite touch is Mr. Meseeks as the Darth Vader proxy and the Smiths standing by cluelessly where the droids resided. Can’t wait for the new episodes in July this Summer!

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The new Star Wars Battle Pod game is weak

starwarsbattlepodI was so stoked when I saw the preview and articles regarding this successor to the old 1983 video game I still play at Pinballz. Well I got my opportunity to play it a couple times at Dave & Busters which was 15-16 credits a pop roughly $4/game for gold-card members. How did it go? The first mission entailing the famous Battle of Yavin went alright. The harder, second attempt fighting the Battle of Endor not so much. I wrecked the Falcon into the Death Star’s reactor.

starwarsbattlepod2The screens are fantastic but the game play was the issue. With all the computing power we have at our fingertips in the 21st Century, there’s no excuse to a game like this to be stuck on rails. You receive hints of which TIE fighters to go after yet you have no real control over the general direction you’re flying.

I think I’ll stick with the analog world via X-Wing and the new Armada tabletop games.

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Farewell David Letterman

davidletterman

It was an amazing run for David Letterman. He outlasted his predecessor and hero Johnny Carson by four years. What’s more impressive is that David received a second chance which was ridiculed by SNL, pundits and fans of Tom Snyder, aka my grandparents.

Anyone under 40 is probably thinking, what do you mean? Back in the Seventies, the movement at NBC to push Johnny out the door really started to gain traction. Why? Not sure. I’m guessing it was how he had outlasted the two previous hosts (Steve Allen and Jack Paar) and gained enough to clout to threaten the NBC brass. Unlike other late-night talk shows, Johnny allowed other people, usually comedians, to host the show for a night to a week. David had the opportunity sometime around the mid Seventies while the network was allegedly grooming the not-funny Chevy Chase. It was hard to see what Johnny saw in David at the time. David didn’t have a strong monologue, his timing was poor, he had this weird self-deprecating laugh and he lacked what audiences were accustomed to from the more popular/respected Bill Cosby, George Carlin, David Brenner, Joan Rivers and Steve Martin. Still, Carson used a good chunk of his political clout to give Letterman his first show on NBC. I think it required a terrible compromise and/or NBC wanted it to fail because David was on during the day, when the majority of viewers were retired people and the dying class of housewives. I imagine these TV watchers were pissed about their game shows being cancelled for something they didn’t “get.” I was in grade school that Summer too. I saw a few episodes. I didn’t find it very funny but there were a couple comedy gems, namely when the guest was fake/a bit.

After this show was canceled, I’m confident David thought his career was over. He would have to return to cameos on sitcoms (see Mork & Mindy), writing for others and depending upon stand-up as his primary income at the mercy of Mitzi Shore. Having Johnny Carson in your corner in 1981 was the closest thing to having a show-business genie on your side.

Unfortunately, Late Night with David Letterman resulted in Tomorrow with Tom Snyder being knocked out to make room. Tom didn’t exactly suffer, he went to work for Ted Turner’s new cable idea CNN. David made it up to Tom when he moved to CBS, his deal granted him first dibs on who followed Late Show and David brought Tom back.

A quick aside joke, this was predicted on an episode of Larry Sanders.

David getting his second crack via a nightly program at 11:30 PM (where I grew up) was the breakthrough he needed. The core audience who appreciated his delivery and willingness to try outrageous gags was college kids. He also gained my respect along with my brother’s. I will always be a fan of Johnny Carson. Johnny was the master interviewer, delivery and deadpan. David was an awesome 90-degree shift incorporating what he and us whipper-snappers learned from Monty Python, early Steve Martin, The Fire Sign Theater and other off-kilter sources. His first decade had numerous bits my generation imitated, primarily throwing crap out of windows and recording the outcome.

His departure to CBS was bittersweet. I know it’s popular to shit-talk Jay Leno but as I keep explaining to Somara about why I want to see Jay in Vegas, there’s two Jay Lenos; the ass-kissing/not very funny version who did daily hosting duties and the stand-up version who amazes like Carrot Top. David did the right thing telling NBC to suck it and he had the opportunity to keep his show in New York.

Like all programs closely tied to a generation, Letterman’s ratings declined as his base aged out with the weight of their adult responsibilities, the growth of cable, comedy finding other venues, the Internet and tastes. I recall not liking Conan O’Brien for years. Conan’s wackiness and off-center approach felt forced, insincere and cliché after 12 years of Letterman doing it first. David was able to capitalize on how he behaved like a “normal” Midwesterner caught in a storm of New York craziness.

Another great legacies I will always be grateful for, Letterman gave Chris Elliott his earliest comedy/acting work; a handful of writers cut their teeth with David before they moved to LA and worked on some goofy cartoon called The Simpsons. Lastly, in the last decade, I loved how David really pulled down his defenses and let his feelings show whether it was telling Bill O’Reilly he was full of shit in person, having the doctors who operated on him take the stage in which he introduced each surgeon/doctor to thank them personally before his cheering audience. Last year David also shared a picture of him alongside two contemporaries who started out at the Comedy Store with him and he nearly teared up about how much he missed them. Those contemporaries were Richard Pryor and Robin Williams.

Thanks for everything David! You’ve earned a good long, undisturbed retirement. I’m going to miss ya’. You paved the way for The OnionThe Daily ShowThe Colbert Report and other off-kilter ideas. Before you, most TV comedy was less daring.

Here’s a link to 23 things he brought to talk shows, comedy and fact finders.

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Stars and Rampage get the shaft next season

I was pretty stoked about the upcoming Pacific Division and return of the Winnipeg Moose next season in the AHL. However, I forgot the board of governors probably wanted to emulate the NHL’s clunky four-division set up which is what they did. So come September, the two remaining teams in Texas will be in the same division as the five California teams. We remain in the Western Conference, thus we’ll still be receiving visits from Chicago, Milwaukee, Grand Rapids, Winnipeg, Des Moines, Charlotte, Cleveland and Rockford. Farewell Toronto, Hamilton (moving), Syracuse, Rochester and Utica, they have to compensate for the five relocating teams going to the Left Coast.

My gripe? A significant chunk of the Stars’ away games won’t start until 9-9:30 PM and I probably won’t know the score before bed. Yeah, yeah, first-world problems.

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Snake Mountain is a alive with the sounds of…

skeletorsingingA light-hearted take on He-Man’s nemesis Skeletor. I guess he never really wanted to rule all of Eternia but his evil parents forced him into their line of work. Skeletor had a promising signing career they dashed. I can hear Dan Milano’s voice filling in as this morphs into a Robot Chicken bit.

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Multi-Pass!

leeloThese Retro action figures just keep getting better and better in their selection of titles! I need to get off my duff to post the Star Trek, Alien and Predator ones I have. Oh yeah, and my Lo Pan from Big Trouble in Little China. Now they’ve added The Fifth Element and Taxi Driver. Click here to see the current line. There’s a little something for everybody because the ReAction figures aren’t focused on old movies/TV, they even make contemporary stuff (Breaking Bad, Tomorrowland and The Flash). I do disagree with the packaging saying these aren’t children. HA! They’re to be enjoyed.

Back to my Leelo. No luck with the other characters I want, the evil Zorg and obnoxious Ruby Rhod.

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A belated farewell to Highland Mall

As April drew to a close, so did the limping finale to Highland Mall. Unlike the frequent sad fates of other malls as per Dead Malls, Highland will live on with a better purpose…a campus for Austin Community College (ACC).

You can catch a pretty cool story/sound file here. I wish I had a time machine to see Highland during its glory years in the Eighties; an internal movie theater, a Gold Mine arcade and maybe something worth eating at its food court. Pretty impressive track record given how close it was to Austin’s original airport too.

Today, the more popular equivalents are the Domain in the northwest (a mixed-use setup containing uber expensive apartments, an unimpressive movie theater, stores in bloc organized by price and very little to eat unless you prefer $25 taco plates); Barton Creek in the southwest (when I first moved here, this place was on the ropes); and Lakeline up in Cedar Park. Northcross in the north/central continues to get by minus its movie theater and the lion’s share of stores/restaurants face out.

Highland was the mall during my first few years here. It had a WB Store, Disney Store, Nature Company, a pet store, Suncoast Video and the same old retailers you saw in every mall across the US. For a long time I could count on Austin’s buses to get me there from my apartment on 38th and Guadalupe reliably. It was on the way as I commuted via bus from home to Apple’s old 183 and 290 location. If I timed it well, I could leave the apartment early, squeeze in some quick shopping and clock in with time to spare (I used to start at 11:15 or 11:30). This mall was a perfect meeting point after work for me to rendezvous with Doc and Eiko whenever we did our Friday-night movie ritual at either Highland 10 or Lincoln 6.

Alas, I can’t recall the last time I ever went to Highland while it was 100-percent dedicated to being a mall. I’ll go out on a limb and say the early Aughts. Those annoying shitbirds were often a hazard of parking near an anchor store. When we moved to Pflugerville, the need to go there declined noticeably. Barton Creek getting Austin’s first Apple Store was probably the death knell and the Domain’s opening was the coup de grace. Oh yeah, the city bankrolling the conversion of the Mueller Airport into an east side Domain knock off probably had something to do with this. I would throw in racism since Highland was within the economically poor neighborhoods of Austin’s shrinking Black population.

Highland’s demise is merely one of dozens every month around the West. Hell, I think I read about a mall built in China which never opened. The point is, people’s shopping habits have changed. 99% Invisible recently had an episode dedicated to a pioneer of the indoor mall named Victor Gruen; an expert they interviewed said malls like Highland peaked in 1990 and have sliding ever since. There’s online options, stronger competition from Wal-Mart/Target, very popular venues can find cheaper rent (specialities like toys, books and music if they remain) and here’s the whopper from my youth, teenagers have different outlets and means to congregate at to socialize…when their faces aren’t buried in their mobile devices. Yeah, yeah, get off my lawn, screw you Millenials with your cliché riposte. I’m confident key scenes in Weird Science, Fast Times at Ridgemont High and Night of the Comet puzzle younger people.

Thanks the great memories Highland. You made the transition to living in Austin great because you were superior to what I had in Bloomington-Normal and were on par with what I missed in Milwaukee via Southridge.

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So will Maggi Picayune be shifting to Volume VI soon?

I wish I knew but while I was home sick, I did do some heavy and deep reflecting over the last few months. Not just about work. Many tangential elements centered around me, me and me! I mean, I have a pretty good and fulfilling life outside of work. I gave up that crap of letting it define me years ago. It doesn’t mean I’m a mercenary, I just finally improved on separating it or turning it off once I clocked out.

For starters, Somara is safe and fine. Divorce, separating or whatever, isn’t in the stars. Same goes for my cats. By the way, despite her skeletal appearance and horrible matts, Miette is continuing to thrive. Friendships? A few are being re-assessed since I am not an out-of-sight-out-of-mind person unlike the ones on my shit list. Side work too; we are closing in on 50.

Let me circle back to work due to the cryptic message on FaceBook which worried a couple. I haven’t quit. What I have done is inform my manager of my plans to either leave the organization. This could be for another department or another employer altogether. I’m a realist so the smart money is likely on the latter until I received a phone call yesterday. I’m not going to jinx it by saying whom or what.

Hold on, why does another employer seem stronger? A few reasons. The majority point toward the cliquish nature of the powers that be plus HR’s policy against retaliation has as much credibility as JEB Bush’s foreign-policy team amongst the rank-and-file employees. Besides, I think I want to start again at the ground floor with someone smaller. I miss working as the underdog. Success is nice don’t get me wrong, my checking account can vouch for this. The intangible costs become too expensive eventually. I guess I’m also a bad American for not putting money at the top of the list when it comes to a job requirement. Austin is a no San Fran/José (thankfully!) yet we’re overrun with startups and many are inane enough to be on HBO’s Silicon Valley. Convincing them the importance of having a diplomat/customer-service expert is a hard sell. The ratio of Type A(sshole) personalities who admire Jobs, Cuban, Zuckerberg and sometimes Rand, is higher than the real world. Trying to launch any kind of product without a customer service team is on par with flying in an experimental plane sans parachute; better to have it and not need it than the other way around. With customer service, you still need it because no product, especially anything involving computers, will ever be perfect. Anyone who tells you otherwise is a liar.

So my manager took the announcement well. She wanted to know if the door would be left open and I had to politely say the odds are really thin due to the condition I needed. It’s not unreasonable given what has been occurring over the last six months, I just have 20 years of experience knowing how matters play out with the political figures involved. I will continue to give my best efforts to do the tasks I have on deck, I just want to avoid taking on anything I’ll have to abandon should I get my wish to transfer/leave. I’m a bit sad too. My current manager is a good person, leader and filled with many good ideas. Hell, we were often on the same page on how to assist the team members. I did have to let her know I wasn’t swallowing the lies I was being told on my backfills being suspended as I listed the evidence to the contrary. Plus I did discuss with other experts internally and externally on said the conditions, they mostly agreed that the “explanation” was really an excuse and it would morph into something else as I continued to comply with the groupthink while not getting what I wanted. I never want to relive the bullshit I endured with GDW.

Let’s see how the dice rolls pan out. Will I get a natural “20” for a change or will it be automatic fumble via the cursed natural “1.” I’m more likely to get something in between, probably on the low side but I think with my experience, skills and allies, I have a strong cumulative modifier to push the outcome to still come out to be 15 or higher.

More as it happens. I may have additional time to keep on writing/posting all of the sudden! To quote Rodney Dangerfield’s final days on the near future.

Fan/Friend: Hey Rodney! How long are you going to be in the hospital?

Rodney: If all goes well, a couple of weeks. If not, 45 minutes!

One more thing. I always remember the musical advice Roland Orzabal of Tears For Fears gave me in “Goodnight Song” while I was depressed, choking back the tears, eating at a Taco Bell in Peoria during my lunch hour in late 1993. And no, it wasn’t being caused by their food or how awful Peoria was…

Get some honesty
Take the best of me and then the rest let go
In every situation with its tireless rage
Step outside your cage and let the real fool show
I should have stayed round to break the ice
I thought about it once or twice
But nothing ever changes unless there’s some pain

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Avengers: Age of Ultron Must See

avengers2The Marvelverse succeeded in victory number 11 as I once asked in Guardians of the Galaxy. Now we also know that the answer to what Disney has bet the farm on for number 12 to take the title away from Pixar…Ant-Man in July.

I want to get back to the Avengers-Whedon reunion-two-peat.

Holy buckets, Whedon did it again! He managed to bring together the three heavy-hitter franchises with their supporting cast and ongoing backstory issues, namely the Hydra fallout from Winter Soldier and the TV show Agents of SHIELD. Then throw in a new villain and three Avengers’ recruits. Personally, I think Whedon succeeded by avoiding the common error made with superhero flicks, he stuck with Ultron on being the nemesis instead of two or three with separate agendas. Case in point, Spider-Man 3 which had three opponents and none got much traction.

The premise? The Avengers are in some fictional Eastern European country kicking Hydra’s ass all to retrieve Loki’s staff; I can’t remember how it got loose, I was more thrilled to see Baron von Strucker. Thor agrees to let Tony and Bruce exam the magic stone powering the staff because Tony thinks there must be a solution in it. Turns out Tony was mostly right, the stone is an advanced computer of sorts and Hydra was trying to harness it to build the Ultron project, a form of AI. Obviously the lessons from Frankenstein, Jurassic Park and Demon Seed are wasted on Tony as he proceeds and it results in Ultron taking over his Iron Legion robots. What Tony didn’t know was he was partially manipulated by Wanda Maximoff (aka the Scarlet Witch) into removing the safeguards. You can deduce the rest.

I found the positives easily drowned out the few negatives this time around. James Spader’s Ultron was both humorous and menacing without being the traditional virtual-moustache twirling villain his comics counterpart usually is. I liked how the evil robot is a part of Tony too; they share the concern about keeping the world save, they just disagree on the means to achieve it. Hawkeye gains a larger role! Good, I felt he was the token non-powered hero last time. Numerous cameos from lesser characters we love from the Marvelverse: Sam (the Falcon), James (Warmachine), Dr. Selvig, Agent Carter, and Nick Fury. For us nerds who know their comics it was cool to see von Strucker, Ulyssess Klaue (in the comics, he will become Dr. Klaw, an inept villain in The Fantastic Four) and Stan the Man Lee.

The only negative I will raise is the actors Elizabeth Olsen and Aaron Taylor-Johnson as the Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver. They’re rather flat and lack chemistry as siblings much like they did as a married couple in Godzilla. Time will tell with their next outing in Captain America: Civil War.

As always stay through the credits but once the preview of the next step concludes, you can split, there’s no second bit as per Avengers.

Alamo Extras: I waited too long to write this to get them written down but the two big ones that stuck with me: snippets of the awful SHIELD made-for-TV movie starring David Hasselhoff as Col. Fury and pictures of bootlegged Avengers toys from around the world. The best was a set of superheroes packaged as the Avengers yet in the package was Batman and Shrek.

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Harry Shearer leaving The Simpsons would be a good ending

The primary story/explanation of Harry leaving so he can pursue other projects is absolute crap in my opinion. Hank Azaria and Julie Kavner still act in movies, TV and plays while Dan Castellaneta and Nancy Cartright continue to provide voices in other cartoons. I don’t recall Harry’s comedy podcast being suspended before. The point is, money has always been a point of contention and Harry was the most inflexible over it, especially when Fox kept making the empty-pockets gesture despite this cartoon amassing over $2 billion in its lifetime.

Anyway, Harry’s departure is a shame but I say Al Jean and James L. Brooks should use the opportunity to bring the ongoing show to an ending. Wrap up the loose ends, then walk away. Brooks has done it before through The Mary Tyler Moore show.

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Some overdue good news involving Las Vegas

Now that my recent relapse of the flu has subsided, I can finally get back to what I enjoy, namely writing/posting good news.

Last week had a doozy. Drum roll please…

Our final timeshare deed is now paid in full! Cue the balloon and confetti drop!

Wait…third? Yeah, we had our past two (paid off) rolled into a new, unified deed which also resulted in our bigger place.

Next up, scheduling our vacation out there in the near future.

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Let’s hear it for the rain in Central Texas…

…we sure needed it but its side effect has been making me feel like crap. The symptoms I have are similar to a cold/flu yet I don’t have a temperature. Could’ve fooled the rest of my body given the headache I had (I swear it could’ve killed an elephant and took a day to subside), sore throat, chills, fatigue and aching joints. The best part? It amplifies the persistent cough I’ve been fighting for what, three years now? Not one quack I visit will give a steroid shot to push my immune system over to finally kill this. No, instead I have to live through long bouts of hacking, especially after any strenuous exercise such as walking up a flight of stairs. Recently, it was bad enough to strain my abdominal muscles. Over the last several days, I’ve had at least one coughing fit per day resulting in borderline puking.

Yeah, gross. At least you know why I’m inconsistent on the ‘net. I managed to schedule Thursday off from work as I felt it coming down Wednesday afternoon. It carried over into Friday so I just used an unplanned day. I knew I wasn’t going to be missed since I can’t be taken seriously unless “the leadership” needs someone to fall on a customer-service grenade they’re “too important” to handle.

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