MAGGI PICAYUNE

Let me give a quick clarification on this article since its author is full of crap, like anyone who visits my city and thinks she has it down after spending a week at SXSW. 

1. Tacos, yes. Tacodeli is OK, only recently have I discovered Torchy’s. I need to eat more of the latter to have a strong opinion. So far their GM at 620 was very helpful with a recent work-related catering gig.
2. I’m not a dog person.
3. Free outdoor shows, sometimes like SXSW but not Blues on the Green.
4. I haven’t practiced yoga in years and certainly not at Black Swan, I just followed my wife’s DVD and I know a legit instructor.
5. See 4.
6. See 4 and 2.
7. I have no love for Whole Paycheck Foods, especially its Shruggalo CEO John Mackey who ignorantly calls the ACA Fascism.
8. Depends.
9. See 8.
10. In 20 years of living here, I’ve never really done this on a real river, just the mechanical ones and in other cities.
11. Guilty.
12. Very guilty and I own that shirt too. The reason why…because we don’t need more assholes with a John Mackey mindset living here which is what Austin is getting flooded with, namely deadbeat, selfish GOP refugees from Arizona, California and Florida. They mostly bitch about Austin being weird.
13. I lived in Wisconsin for five years, of course I like cheese.
14. Never been in one.
15. Yes but Austin has scores of mediocre BBQ. It does compensate for the unreliable pizza and non-existent delis.
16. Yes, yet I’m not keen on MPT anymore, it’s rather lazy comedy on most days, the other special events are better.
17. Local yes; organic has a slippery definition and 7 contributes to the problem; vegan? You gotta’ be kidding me after listing 15.
18. Hell yes. Each bat eats around 600 bugs a night, namely mosquitos. The horrible smell under certain bridges is worth what they do.
19. No opinion.
20. Never been there, I know of it; Rainey is in South Austin, I live in the Northeast. Mike Judge used it for King of the Hill, it’s where Hank lives.
21. Yes, haven’t been there in years though.
22. Absolutely, I do need to attend more stuff, especially if I don’t want the hypocritical Greg Abbott to be governor.
23. The show yes, the Coachella wannabe mess we have every Fall, HELL NO.
24. No, I’m not a good swimmer.
25. He seems OK.
26. Yes, I’ve posted some on my site.
27. Yes, but not Bob Schneider, he’s rather dull and an asshole. I prefer Shawn Colvin, Not in the Face, Quiet Company, Toni Price (who may have moved back), the Fabulous Thunderbirds, Black & White Years, the Reivers, the Zoltars and the Octopus Project.
28. Sure, most often they’re the opener for a nationally touring act.
29. Yes, but it has the same pitfalls as 15.
30. No. The ones I endorse: Lucy in Disguise and the Continental Club. I’m not familiar with others because SoCo is a nuisance to navigate/park on.
31. Yes.
32. No. Heresy due to football being the state religion.
33. Yes, yet I’m more modest in my expression. I have also encountered thong-wearing bicycle guy and saw Leslie from a distance.
34. I agree there but it’s disappearing thanks to overdevelopment, greed from outside one-percenters buying everything up and climate change.
35. My additional reason why I call Austin home that the author didn’t list…regardless of the political persuasion here, a larger population at large is better educated than other areas I’ve lived in. I left my Midwestern region for intellectual reasons, not economic. Where I resided in Central Illinois was a heavy GOP bastion in a (now) Blue state. A college degree was a liability, not an advantage. Outside Chicago, Illinois is mostly northern Kentucky while Austin is the anti-Texas inside Texas.