That’s no photographic trick nor a frame pulled from a movie. While practicing this weekend at Pinballz, I managed to get the ball to land and stop on the safety post. Once again I proved my reputation of being the Typhoid Mary to these machines. I got an employee to check it out before I bumped the machine a little to drain the ball, there was no away I could salvage it.
I hope I have better luck tonight on Swords of Fury.
Paranorman has been a hard review to write (over two weeks) because this movie is just so mediocre. Great or terrible movies practically write themselves! I need to see The Corpse Bride and Coraline, find out if these other Burton-inspired stop-motion films have diminishing returns since Paranorman was something to keep a kid occupied during a long car trip. It is safe for children to see, the zombies don’t eat anybody, they mostly bear the brunt of the physical comedy.
Norman is a kid who digs zombie movies and has the ability to see dead spirits, like the kid from The Sixth Sense. Not everybody haunts his small Salem, New England-esque town, just those with unfinished business. It’s also a talent that runs in his family; Norman has an eccentric uncle his father keeps away for fear of Norman being made into a bigger town weirdo.
As Halloween approaches, the uncle grows more anxious to find the protagonist. Their mutual talent requires one of them to carry out an annual duty to protect the town. If it isn’t completed by sundown, a horrible witch’s curse gets unleashed; remember it’s set in New England where the infamous Salem witch trials took place 350-plus years ago.
Obviously Norman fails, otherwise this would be a short movie. What follows is a string of slapstick, chases and after-school special lessons about forgiveness, appearances and acceptance. Only near the end does Paranorman get slightly more interesting but from a technical aspect; the crew combined stop-motion techniques with computer-generated effects to create a departure from previous Laika productions.
Fans of Laika, Burton and the overdone zombie genre will probably like Paranorman. I was mildly amused, leaning toward bored. The Nightmare Before Christmas was fresh and exciting…19 years ago. James and the Giant Peach kept the technique interesting by shifting genres. I guess James failed due to several more horror-like titles being made after a long absence for major stop-motion features. Paranorman is predictable and not in a good way. It isn’t awful, it was rather lazy. Featuring Christopher Mintz-Plasse as the voice of Norman’s bully tormentor demonstrates my “lazy” gripe. Mintz-Plasse is the has-been “comedic” actor from Superbad tied to the over-repeated McLovin’ schtick yet he may put butts in seat over the opening weekend. Never mind trying to punch up the story and/or its execution.
I will close with one good element I did enjoy. Sit through the closing credits and Laika gives a nice presentation on how they build a figure from its raw materials.
Alamo did a good job warming up the crowd with kid-friendly features. They were horror based but nothing nightmare-inducing for any over six.
Boom! recently reprinted a six-issue miniseries chronicling some new adventures of The Avengers, the UK show not the Marvel comics. They were written by Grant Morrison and drawn by Ian Gibson, so it was a mini-Judge Dredd reunion. I think they first appeared around 1990.
Anyway I scored those and was a tad pissed with last couple issues because they were off register; means everything (art and lettering) were blurry. I endured since Morrison really nailed the spirit of the show.
Now Boom! is publishing further adventures featuring the UK’s favorite crime-fighting/counter-espionage duo with Mark Waid of Daredevil fame helming the writing duties. I picked up issue #0 due to my thing for Mrs. Peel. I turned to page one, looked over the interior artwork and thought, man this person draws like Steve Bryant. I glanced back at the cover to see the credits and holy crap it was him! I was stoked. Steve nailed down the likenesses of Mrs. Peel and Mr. Steed (Diana Rigg and Patrick McNee circa the mid Sixties respectively)!
Now I can’t wait for the next issue! I also completely endorse this title. If you’re not satisfied, I will give you your money back. The offer is only valid if I actually know you.
The header for September was a really tough decision. Adam Ant, because we’re seeing him at the Hard Rock Vegas (the one off the Strip, there’s two) in two weeks; or The Princess Bride which celebrates its 25th anniversary on September 25. Since the movie is more relatable for most of my friends, I went with Bride.
Alamo must’ve gotten the suggestion from me (I wish) about booking more quote-alongs for the occasion. Sure I went for the Valentine’s Day feast with Somara but I need to go again to celebrate a special movie.
When it was originally released, I was busier being a sophomore at Marquette doing what most 19-year-old boys do…drink too much, not study enough and chase girls. I’m not sure how my past self would’ve initially thought about the movie, few interested me then as music was more exciting. I did see it during the following Christmas Break at a discount theater with my parents and brother, we were willing to see anything in order to get away from my grandparents for a few hours. Needless to say, Bride was an awesome surprise. By year, Fred Savage was the toast of TV starring in The Wonder Years. I still think Peter Falk and Wally Shawn made it even better. Inconceivable!
The years passed by and I never gave the film much thought. There was the infrequent catchphrase being quoted in conversations, parties and D&D games. Nothing more.
When I started seeing my doctor to treat my evil twin problem, one element is insomnia, he suggested a routine involving activities to take me mentally “off the hunt.” Recline in a comfy chair, drink some Sleepy-Time™ tea and watch a soothing movie, oh like The Princess Bride. I thought, Somara has that on DVD, sure. I’m not confident this has completely worked, I have intermittent bouts of insomnia four years later, but it made me appreciate the film more. Maybe it’s a common remedy for anxiety/depression, Patton Oswalt mentioned in one of his records when discussing his ongoing war with depression.
Let’s see if I can get some traffic by soliciting some favorite memories of The Princess Bride from you readers out there on the Interwebs…as I wish! Meanwhile, I will be recruiting friends to join me to a quote-along this month, maybe I’ll get to go on stage with the host to win a prize. Last time, two dudes had to fight a duel using inflatable swords. It resembled playing pool with a rope.
Jake is having a relapse of the Lumps
Once in a while there are some pretty cool Google deals that don’t involve a local restaurant, Waterloo Records or Pinballz. I couldn’t resist $30 toward Mimoco thumb drives…especially when they have licensed Adventure Time characters!
Somara got a Sanrio character, that bat creature who looks like a penguin. Obviously I went with Jake the shapeshifting dog.
Besides the storage space, the drive came with Adventure Time icons and wallpapers.
There’s one side effect, maybe the manufacturer considers it a feature. When data is transferred to or from Jake, the LED on his butt flashes and this…
Yesterday I crossed the 650-mile barrier! This puts me within 40 miles of Albuquerque and I may get there right before we leave for Las Vegas. If all goes well with the Tahiti Village gym, I will achieve the destination there.
The bigger involved how quickly I completed my daily three-mile run. Lately I’ve been rather tired plus I can’t shake this damned congestion I came down with before my birthday. So I haven’t run three contiguous miles a day. One day, I ran half way, rested a minute, drank a little water, then finished. Another day, I had to stop after the first mile because I had to use the bathroom urgently.
Yesterday not only did I run non-stop, I blew past the three-mile mark in 27:49…under 28 minutes!
Next up, see if I can pull the duration down to 27:30. Afterwards, I might increase the distance to exceed the 3.1 miles required to finish this crazy, possible race. Anyone want to do it with me? I’m rather tired of zombie movies, etc.; yet I would like to see if I can outrun/maneuver them without a weapon.
Today I forgot to pack a pair of Chucks in my gym bag! One would think that if a person owned over 80 sets (I will update my FAQ in the next quarter), I could remember to throw them in. I spent the day wearing my running shoes; after I took a shower, etc., all the post-running stuff I do practically every day.
It was a weird feeling. I have been wearing Chucks practically every day of my life since 1986, the year I gave up trying to find Vans and returned to the beloved basketball shoe. Now there have been times I don’t wear them, namely formal matters like my wedding! However I don’t wear any other brand, type or kind of casual shoe. Non-casual shoes are reserved for specific functions: running several miles/day, getting dressed up in a suit or mopping floors in a movie theater. Everything else is Chucks time! I also have two pairs designed specifically for cold weather so the ice and snow of Chicago couldn’t stop me.
Back to the weird feeling…
The closest description I can give on the experience: it was like wearing high heels all day, except I never twisted my ankle.
Before I go to bed, I’m securing a pair in the gym bag in advance. According to the spreadsheet I have to keep them all organized, Wednesday’s are a color…Light Gray.
Les, my friend and gaming sensei has started a kickstarter campaign for his latest creation Invasion of the Saucer People. It’ll be great because Les worked on the more interesting products at GDW when I was there: Minion Hunter, revisions to Blue Max, Dark Conspiracy (a game that predicted The X-Files in my opinion) and anything with a good sense of humor.
I can’t wait to get my copy in December!
Maybe I can figure out how to make a version for the iPad and Android with my other friend Jeremy. I know Les will dig it.
Last month I finally signed up to participate in a league at Pinballz! Originally, I was in the regular group but shifted to the novice level because it was my first time; I need to see if I like it enough to commit eight weeks again.
How did it go last night? Pretty well. I think I won all four rounds based upon the rules the coordinator laid down.
Here’s the skinny. Everybody is broken up into groups of three or four players. The groups then play four assigned machines twice. Whoever earns the highest score on each machine is awarded 100 points. Our initial challenges: Whodunnit?; The Flintstones; Elvira’s Scared Stiff; and Guns & Roses. There are a couple twists to league play versus just playing.
I’m still waiting to receive an e-mail from Jennifer to see the final results. This being a novice league, she gave us advanced warning about two of next week’s games: Xenon and Swords of Fury.
A mashup of my favorite (of two) CN shows and my drinking vice (lattes). Teefury offered this on July 29, 2012. Jeremy and Kirstin scored this for me as a gift.
My awesome comic-book artist friend celebrates today. I do hope he enjoys it despite something he once said years ago, “It’s just another day.” Not to me.
Steve has been my chum for 21 years, through thick and thin. Believe me, if you ever worked at GDW, it was thin pretty often.
Check out his site, think about commissioning a piece with him! Tell Steve I sent you, I don’t get any money or anything, I’m hoping he’ll buzz me, say thanks dude!
Once more into the Summer of 1982 breach dear friends with what was the only hit Comedy from a year filled with Action, Horror and Fantasy.
Fast gets the same treatment as The Wall because it didn’t break any new ground; on the surface Fast just resembles yet another teen-sex romp movie despite being based upon a book by Cameron Crowe. The movie’s legacies were all the cast members who went on to bigger careers (listed below), the runaway sales of Vans (Spicoli’s shoes, I had a couple pairs until I switched permanently to Chucks), numerous damaged videotapes (you know what I’m talking about) and it was one of the earliest marriages between a film and soundtrack; these became more commonplace as the Eighties progressed. All those things I listed is why Fast managed to stand out over the years while the pack faded away; Alamo showed their trailers before screening this. According to imdb.com, Fast grossed five times its costs so I guess it was a huge success on par with Porky’s and Animal House. Makes sense, theaters were lax on enforcing the R-rated guidelines.
I’ll quickly summarize what passes for a plot to those who’ve never bothered and might be curious. In the late Seventies, Crowe went undercover as a high-school student, I think San Diego. He wrote about his experiences for Rolling Stone and then released a book. Universal bought it, made a movie probably based upon Crowe’s better anecdotes since there’s no plot; Fast resembles a collection of random events happening to a half-dozen teenagers (and two memorable teachers) over a school year. Dazed n’ Confused did this a hundred times better by keeping the focus to one day in the life of a small town in Texas. There’s hilarious moments, many lived on as sound bites on morning radio; yet the disturbing parts involving Stacy were sad.
Fast wasn’t quite as accurate about high school life, slang and dress as John Hughes’ quadrology or the ill-fated Square Pegs sitcom appearing in the Fall of ’82, but I think it was an important transitional step on two fronts.
Does the movie still make me laugh? Some parts did even though I knew the punch lines. I was more amused by the dated stuff. I am glad I took a late-afternoon nap though, I had never seen Fast in 35mm and I wanted to stay awake (11:30 PM showing). Alamo prepped the crowd by showing trailers/pieces of appropriate stuff: Tomboy, Hardbodies, The Last American Virgin, Porky’s and a couple poorly made flicks involving cheerleaders. The clip showing the Go Gos from Urgh! A Music War was nice, they were on the soundtrack.
Now to my list of cast members who went on to bigger careers…except for those two guys playing Damone (still working, does bit parts on TV) and Ratner (disappeared by 2000).
Ratings:
1982 (14-year old me): B+. Had I seen it in a theater, I would’ve laughed but the thrill of getting into an R-rated movie was greater. Unlike many from my generation, I never had the opportunity. My parents took me to one and it was a weak Richard Pryor comedy. Seeing Phoebe Cates and Jennifer Jason-Leigh naked were easily other highlights for an teenage boy.
2012: C-. It’s just a collection of events and catchphrases. Many jokes have endured. Fast is more effective as a time capsule about youth culture than a comedy, namely the scenes in the movie’s uncredited character…the mall!
Fast Times at Ridgemont High did prove one life lesson courtesy of Mike Damone, his infamous five-point plan for taking out girls:
Normally I try to ignore lists made by so-called professional music critics, I find they’re even more full of crap than people with awful tastes. Then a co-worker who is a musician showed me this (the Web masters at LA Weekly are incapable of making this one page for reasons that evade me). A couple acts the author(s) picked on made me cringe because I actually own some of their records…without irony. The last thing I want to be called is a Hipster. I’ve always hoped I get a pass on the label due to my age!
Anyway, to save you some Web-based grief, I reposted the list below with a little defense on the eight I own, in green. The other 12, I have little to no opinion about. Some of the digs against the bands are funny so I would encourage you to read the whole thing, just use my list below as an appetizer.
Who should be on the list though? My immediate vote goes to most Hip Hop/Rap and sorry excuses for modern R&B that White music critics fawn over. Sonic Youth, the Beastie Boys, John Cale, the Velvet Underground, most Lou Reed and all the Grateful Dead. Sure I’m listing mostly oldies but Hipster critics feel much of the previous crap can do no wrong.
The first person to walk on the Moon died today. It’s a shame Neil didn’t live long enough to celebrate the 50th anniversary for Apollo XI but astronauts aren’t exactly “young” people due to the training involved.
I wonder if his name will be ingrained into every future Western person’s collective knowledge like Columbus, Joan of Arc or Socrates. With our growing disinterest in Science and space travel, it’s hard to say.
On a happier note, I quickly found a bit Dana Gould did about him. Neil is covered around the last third of Dana’s bit.
| Jokes.com | ||||
| Dana Gould – The Moon Sucks | ||||
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It’s pretty hard to synthesize catchphrases from two of my favorite cartoons on the air today, especially when I’m trying to use Jake and Bender, the John DiMaggio characters. Maybe I’ll come up with something better days later, keep fueling those l’espirit d’escalier thoughts that have plagued all my life.
Thanks again Teefury! In order to make room, I am retiring all the Doctor Who stuff and sending them to my niece (really my cousin Matthew’s daughter) in Wisconsin. She keeps going on and on about wanting to attend the University of Iowa. I’m not sure why the young lady is excited over a school in the boonies, her father went to Fordham in NYC!
Up next, another mashup involving Adventure Time and my daily vice.
Meanwhile, here are the rejected catchphrases, submit yours:
