Banana peels, they’re not just for slapstick

This piece from NPR is welcome news in a period surrounded by crappy news as we slide into Idiocracy. I think it’s pretty awesome because down here in Austin, bananas are 48 cents/pound at HEB (46 at SuperTarget) and you know a chunk of the weight you’re paying for is the peel.

One great source will be Germany. An ex-friend once said the Germans eat their bodyweight annually in bananas. I’m not sure about Americans. I know I ate more as a kid. As I got older, the fruit lost its luster and these days, they’re bit of a chore.

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Chaparral Ice is closing

There had been a “For Sale” sign out front for some weeks and it’s the I-35 location near my house, the Northcross Mall location will continue. Initially, it is hard to garner any sympathy on this situation from the Environmental movement and anybody who lives above the Mason-Dixon line. An ice rink requires an enormous amount of energy plus we’re experiencing the worst drought in Texas history (it clobbers the legendary 1895 disaster, little did they know about Dubious and Goodhair).

The way the story reads, someone bought it but only wants the land/building. Soon will come the pain-in-the ass part, rescheduling everything the place handled with the last remaining sheet in the Austin area. I wouldn’t hold my breath on North Reaganstan having a new facility by 2012, let alone it being open to the public, even Northcross has struggled over the years. Iceskating has declined because kids have cheaper distractions when they’re not being chauffeured to some other activity by the SUV-driving parents.

Quick side note. I learned from this and through Jeremy, a sheet is the ice part. The rink is the building. Thus, Chaparral was a rink hosting two sheets.

I’m going to miss the place. When I first started working for PowerComputing in Round Rock, I noticed it during my commute between the job and Hyde Park. I never gave it much thought or interest. With the discovery of UT Hockey games happening there, I started checking it out. The Icebats’ final two seasons being there created my favorite memories and I figured this put the joint on decent financial footing, the second sheet was built at the time.

Who knows what happened in the end. It’s most likely this crappy economy which is headed for another nose dive thanks to Know Nothing Party and the first Black Republican president. The next dilemma will be if I can still enjoy my Thursday night skating ritual (currently suspended due to a long housesitting stint) at Northcross since Jeremy might be rejoining me in the near future. I wouldn’t be surprised if the owners shut it down from the public. I don’t blame them. Hockey leagues are more likely to pony up a consistent flow of money to keep the lights on.

I hope to make one more visit to say goodbye, thank them for all the great games (especially the 13-round shootout nailbiter!) and to get my skates sharpened.

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Treadmill update, it will finally get repaired!

The outcome will certainly determine whether or not I will be singing Proform’s praises but after two weeks, the treadmill has been officially designated as broken. My initial communication to the company via Chat was great, the hang-up has been the phone tag with the local repair guy who wouldn’t do anything until I proved to him it wasn’t set to Metric. This unfortunate duty fell upon Somara yesterday during her day off, on top of seeing the specialist regarding her ongoing post-operation pain.

I was impressed she made contact so quickly. I had been going back n’ forth with voice mail over several days, only to get the puzzling pseudo-refusal to repair it. Anyway, she followed the guy’s instructions…turn it on, crank it to eight mph. Result? According to Somara, it was still slow, no wait, the belt sped up a moment, no it’s slow again, hey, there’s a horrible burning smell and it’s loud so I have to shout into phone! Nothing says home again like burnt rubber in the living room!

The repair guy was finally satisfied that my treadmill probably needs a new motor and/or controller. I may not be an expert yet I had a similar conclusion three weeks ago. At least it’s covered. Again, the outcome will determine what follows. Do I spend more to have it protected for several more years? Or what I dread, an uncommon yet possible scenario in my profession, this may require multiple trips, parts and time off from work.

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Somara goes back for surgery

Her day off will not be enjoyed today since it’s a trip to another specialist to schedule additional things to be removed. Somara is turning into the patient from the Operation board game! In May it was an ovary to put an end to the pain and eating ibuprofen as if it were candy. When this did jack-bone-nothing, putting a huge damper on our recent vacation, it was another trip to the doctor, scans, probes, etc.

Now they’ve decided to remove her gallbladder and we’ll find out what else…take out her spare ribs for $200! Don’t touch the sides.

Since we’ve already hit the deductible for this year, we’re going to squeeze this in. Will she be alright? Pretty much. It sounds rather routine stuff. I’m more concerned about the doctor turning Somara into an organic version of Bender as they keep removing parts. “Check it out, my wife is 60% storage!”

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More bummers on the Stars’ offense

First we lost two experienced, consistent scorers (Rallo and Gagnon), now we’ve lost two prospective guys: Backman and Chupp. The former is really a darned shame. Sean Backman is a ‘little’ guy like Gretzky (well under six feet tall) but the guy played his ass off to earn a spot on our roster when he got the chance; I think he was originally contracted to be with the Idaho Steelheads. However, I don’t begrudge him his new opportunity with the Bridgeport Sound Tigers since he has opportunity to play for the Islanders if things go well.

I do hope our new coaching staff will get some more points out of the talent which remains this Fall. The upcoming season should be kicking off in two months. I can hardly wait, especially after the blistering hot Summer we’ve had…worst drought ever. Worse than the big one in 1895. I had thought that 1996 was pretty awful.

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KMAG (the stream) is nine

Four Macs, four operating systems (10.2-10.6 but skipped 10.5) and 1.2 million songs played later, my stream has achieved its ninth birthday and will probably make it to 10. Apple ended QTSS with 10.7’s server OS. I recall it worked to a limited extent through the client version but I shouldn’t hold my breath for the Darwin people to recompile it. Allegedly a co-worker said QTSS’s way of transporting data is inefficient in light Apple putting all its eggs in the iOS-iCloud basket. There is a successor, I have yet to see it.

Anyway, today is a milestone of joy, not one to be spent discussing on how to avoid extinction.

I continue to enjoy turning on my stereo in the living room knowing I will hear great stuff without commercials or annoying DJ banter. Sure it can be my own musical echo chamber because it’s composed of my collection. However, I’m a musical fanatic so KMAG continues to grow by at least seven songs a week (more like 15-20) which tacks on 20-plus minutes. Thus the stream’s randomness has only improved over the years. It’s even nearing 10,000 songs (9563 today), that blows away anything commercial FM radio, satellite or cable will work with.

These days, my energies have been focused on trimming down the cover songs to being no more than 10 percent of the playlist (it’s at 11.7 now, when I made the decision it was over 15). Why? Traditionally, Pop and Rock music has a rich history of this, the latter genre (I think) began to slow down for philosophical reasons. KMAG’s primary goal is to widen the horizons for new material and covers are a lazy crutch I could easily pad the stream’s playlist through. Besides, I’m not a product of the Fifties or Sixties.

Onward to its 10th anniversary! Meanwhile, I will be posting a podcast containing what were my favorite songs for each year KMAG the stream has existed. They tend to reflect the few Web pages I posted with an annual round up so the picks are colored by outside forces: emotional resonance, meeting the performers, bias and live shows.

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1911: Lucille Ball’s centennial

To millions, Lucy was the Queen of Comedy through her film, stage and television career. You could say she was a precursor to Tina Fey without the writing element.

When I was in college, I learned that her sitcom I Love Lucy was the one which pioneered the three-camera technique we see all the time in other classics filmed or taped before a studio audience: Cheers, All in the Family, The Cosby Show, Seinfeld, Married with Children and scores more. I think live shows employed it while “canned” programming stuck with the one and then put it together in the editing room; hence continuity issues.

Lucy’s bigger, more personal contribution to my life is through Star Trek. If you’ve ever sat through the closing credits of the original Sixties version, you may notice the production company responsible was Desilu Studios which was founded by her and first husband Desi Arnaz. However, Roddenberry’s creation survived CBS’s rejection because Desilu was allowed to offer it to the other networks and Gene allegedly made a personal plea to Lucy to proceed on making the pilots.

Lastly, despite being a registered member of the Communist Party during the Forties (something she said she did for her grandfather), Lucy had enough clout in the Fifties to remain unmolested by renowned sociopath and drunk Joseph McCarthy. I’m sure this annoyed the hell out of Pharaoh Reagan too.

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Cowboys & Aliens

The conclusion to my 43rd birthday Alamo double-feature celebration, and it turned out to be Grindhouse 2011…Captain America was the stronger, more enjoyable action-based romp as the first feature (Planet Terror) and this was the drawn-out, disappointing conclusion I couldn’t wait to be over (Deathproof).

Now sometime during the late 19th century, a man suddenly wakes up in the New Mexican Desert wearing a weird bracelet and has no recollection about all the previous events leading up to this. We thankfully discover it’s not The Hangover III when our hero is discovered by a trio of late-19th century bounty hunters/desperadoes. Here the mystery man opens a can of whoop ass because they thought about killing him instead of lending assistance. (Times haven’t changed in the American southwest if you can’t find your driver’s license.) Afterwards, the protagonist heads toward the closest settlement…Absolution (cue the ironic music) and hits the nearest saloon. Patrons quickly recognize him as Jake Lonergan, a wanted robber and probable killer. So he gets a free stay in the town’s hoosegow until Federal marshals take him to Santa Fe. His capture draws the attention of the local cattle baron Dolarhyde, the town’s wealthiest resident and de facto ruler. Dolarhyde had some money stolen in a recent stagecoach heist; rumor has it Jake and his gang are the culprits. Therefore Dolarhyde plans to take the law into his own hands. Before the sheriff can ease the tension, a series of bright lights appear at Absolution’s edge, blink out and then the explosions start. It’s the alien invasion element in the title! Things blows up. People get abducted or killed. The town is a wreck. Dolarhyde forms a posse to rescue his son and Jake comes along due to the bracelet turning out to be the only effective weapon against the invaders. What they find; what motivates the aliens; how the action unfolds; they’re all answered as you watch.

Normally when Hollywood chooses to make an obscure comic book into a film, they go with a shakier premise and/or character (Tank Girl, From Hell, The Watchmen and the upcoming Chew) which seals its doom. This didn’t matter here since it borrowed from other movies/genres general audiences are comfortable with: Westerns, alien invasions and the man-with-no-name-or-memory who can kick asses. The trailer nailed it for me back in the Spring so I was like, (in the Lumpy Space Princess voice) “Oh, oh, oh, oh! I want to see this. Put it on our Alamo list!” Even the cast borders on perfect if this were exclusively a Western: Clancy Brown, Sam Rockwell, Keith Carradine and the legendary Buck Taylor. Unfortunately C&A flows like a boring GURPS tournament event using the Old West and High Tech rules. Then again, the mere mention of GURPS incites boredom in most gamers so my description is a tad redundant.

The lead actors don’t help. Daniel Craig is awesome as James Bond. Harrison Ford had his day 30 years ago. I have to agree with The Onion‘s criticism on how they’re too similar to work together effectively. It created a dampening result, not an awesomeness factor by having two generations’ heroes team up. My next gripe is another wooden performance from Olivia Wilde which I think director Jon Favreau just copied and pasted from Tron: Legacy. Her presence moves the plodding story forward in a deus ex machina fashion.

One good thing I will say in closing about C&A is the aliens. These malevolent beings have come to Earth for a good and tangible reason. Current invasion flicks have followed ID4‘s lead for 15 years: they show up, kill everything, appear invincible and get defeated. We never know what they wanted. It was a novel approach…the first couple times. Today’s fare consisting of recent flops Skyline, The Battle for Los Angeles and the upcoming The Darkest Hour resemble Gorenography more than Sci-Fi. War of the Worlds gets a pass, the novel states the Martians’ attempts to “terraform” the Earth.

Worth Seeing? Not in a theater at $7 apiece during the matinee showings. Netflix streaming, DVD or Cable? At least you didn’t spend much. You may miss out on the fun Alamo pre-show stuff to get you in the mood: trailers for Timerider and Westworld,  some cheesy segment showing cowboys trying to take down a T-Rex…I could’ve done without Harrison Ford being interviewed by David Letterman; these nice touches did lessen the disappointment.

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Bite my shiny metal facts

It’s not a bad list but for the better-than-average fan of the show like I am, there weren’t any serious revelations.

What I have seen with the current season remains pretty good. I didn’t get the iTunes season pass though because the DVD may come out by Christmas if Fox follows the same same pattern from last year. Then there’s Netflix streaming yet I like a hard copy to actually hear the commentaries…where I learned most of the trivia the link mentioned.

My only grievance is that half-hour TV shows in America are now a pathetic 19-21 minutes due to the networks’ addiction to advertising. Meanwhile, the BBC appears to be entering a new golden age with its programming and increased viewership as the American system keeps spiraling the bowl. Should Futurama be canceled again, I think Groening and Cohen should look into the Beeb.

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Power-outage fun

Whenever we have a long stint of housesitting, there’s always at least one adventure and it often involves chasing an unruly cat across several acres. Instead we got to experience a multi-hour power outage, probably caused by the current heat wave; I guess that’s what happens when you don’t pray hard enough as per my state’s inept Governor Goodhair.

Initially I figured it was my fault, I was trying to adjust the TV to get the smooth jazz music station. A neighbor called during the quest for the circuit box. He wanted to know if the power went offline since he was experiencing the same thing. Phew!

We agreed to tough it out as long as 10 PM and used the remaining sunlight to water the plants. No dice. I tried to cajole Somara into staying until midnight, I figured the city would get it online by then. She didn’t want to and I didn’t work out the logistics on her picking me up in the morning. Taking Jack and Tiki home with us was equally scary…six cats the house for one evening was going to be tense.

Of course the lights jumped back to life as we were packing up. Then they crapped out again and seemed recover for what seemed to be permanently by the time we left. No matter what followed, we would return to check in the morning.

At least our house was unmolested by this. A rather big surprise to me because the power drops out whenever a rabbit farts, usually a major clap of thunder or lightning.

The gamble paid off with our pre-work inspection. How did we know? Tiki was his usual spry and vocal self. We will be back tonight to fine tune anything we may have missed due to the sunlight running out. Hopefully, Jack won’t be shaking in fear over a pillowcase-based trip.

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Duh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh…Henchmen!

I don’t kick myself too seriously over missing out on the limited run of Venture Brothers shirts which coincided with the third season: right after each episode aired, there was a shirt they sold only for a week. Except for the one plugging the Guild of Calamitous Intent (the bad-guy association).

When this popped up on Tee Fury, I had to pounce on it. The creator had been offering it through another site for 150% more; it is a mixed bag to see ‘retired’ designs carry on at another location, namely Captain Ribman’s hilarious mash-ups. I bought one for me (obviously, I need something to wear at the Adam West Q&A at the end of August), my friend Jeremy (he also has the 24 memorial shirt) and co-worker Tony. It goes nicely with my Venture Industries t-shirt some fellow fans recognize in public.

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Another innovation the status quo will fight

The Undertakers in America run quite a sick, vicious racket. They are protected by the government to gouge you and your family during a grief-ridden time. Case in point, I would prefer to be cremated instead of wasting useful resources (land, metal and chemicals) because the resurrection claim most Christians buy into happens to be the premise to contemporary zombie movies. However, the funeral parlors can still stick you for thousands on this option, thus destroying any savings you could leave your heirs. According to the Carl Hiassen novel Sick Puppy, Florida law requires the purchase of a casket despite cremation.

The scientist in this link has an even better, more productive option! I definitely would opt for the expensive strains she used, shittake. Maybe they could offset how expensive my wake may be, or what I call the “I’m Glad Steve is Dead Party!” I know there has to be some wealthy Japanese businessmen who want mushrooms with a hint of Starbucks, Whataburger and Coke Zero. You can’t get those exotic flavors in Soylent Green!

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Introducing the KMAG podcast featuring new music

During July, I experimented with my server’s ability to host and distribute podcasts. I managed to lure a few guinea pigs to subscribe yet the software doesn’t give a very clear clear picture (or log) on how well it’s going. Still, I judged the lack of complaining to be a success which is fallacious thinking but unlike the Teabagger idiocy happening in Washington, my pressing forward on the podcast idea won’t destroy the world economy.

The new music podcast is a belated workaround with my stream which is turning nine years old next weekend! It’s also a successor to those well-liked mix tapes I made from 1992-1995 for Helen, Jose and others, including myself (Grandma’s car had a solid deck) and Kate brought up the old CDs I used to burn for her almost a decade ago. Eventually, I hope to revive the original WMAG 1-14, KMAG 15-19 (there’s a ‘lost’ 20 too) and the annuals into this format. Unfortunately, they take a little extra effort because many manufactured CDs from the mid Nineties and earlier have horribly low levels. These were easily remedied on my tape deck by adjusting the loudness level: you just made sure the LEDs only hit the red intermittently. Doing this through Garage Band and Amadeus involves more trial and error. iTunes can normalize all your MP3s yet this isn’t exactly the same thing.

The sub-site may be moved to its own URL for simplicity, what my friend Mark chose is available under the .net family. I cautiously recommend the .com place run by some group of writers, critics and/or hipsters; hint, view it from home to be safe.

I also want to declare the ‘blog open to others who have their own mixes to share. They don’t have to be about anything, the original WMAGs weren’t necessarily wrapped around a theme, why should anyone else’s?

So if you’re interested in subscribing and/or making your own, contact me and I’ll give you the URL plus an account: to keep weirdos out it’s password protected.

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1986-1991: Hello and Goodbye Milwaukee

August is both a joyous and bittersweet anniversary month as the title implies (or maybe fails to). The header photo is the main public library which gave me great memories, especially when I was underemployed during the Reagan-Bush Recession.

Twenty-five years ago I left for Marquette University which lies in the heart of Milwaukee (pretty similar to where UT resides with Austin, I can’t vouch for other schools right now). Little did I know the place would be my interim home, not just with college but afterwards. It wasn’t by design. Trust me, there were a dozen better places I could’ve chosen when I was 17-18, Milwaukee was the best compromise I could get. The same goes for after college. Despite the resigned tone I’m giving, the Beer City did grow on me, especially after the Summer of 1988.

Twenty years ago was when my tenure there ended. I had spent the first half of 1991 hustling to land any full-time work to support myself because I didn’t want to move back in with my parents. They may have been living in San Diego but that place only sounds good on paper, especially when you know your rights will be demoted to teenager status; the painful lesson I learned after Philly.

When I did score the kinko’s gig, it proved to be short-lived thanks to meeting a guy who was an art director at GDW. Through him (and I will write more), I was offered a more interesting typesetting position. There was a catch though. I had to leave Milwaukee and relocate to Bloomington-Normal…somewhere else I was also trying to avoid at all costs! Oh the delicious schadenfreude!

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Pinballz

This new attraction opened last Thanksgiving and we also made a cursory visit a few weeks ago, mainly to make sure we could find it. As a part of my weekend-long birthday celebration we finally had an official visit.

Don’t let the place’s name fool you. Despite it resembling and sounding like an Eighties teen-sex romp you would’ve watched on Cinemax, HBO or Showtime…on those nights your parents weren’t home (anyone who says differently is a liar!)…it’s a genuine arcade. The emphasis is pinball but there is a decent selection of older video games, mostly from the golden age, the Eighties strike again.

If you’re looking to play some serious pinball, it’s definitely the place to hit in Central Texas. The selection is predominantly more contemporary than my other favorite locale (the Pinball Hall of Fame in Las Vegas). They carry many favorites I had a great time pumping money into: South Park (won two games from it with my high scores), Popeye, Black Knight, Revenge Attack from Mars (the video parts are hilarious) and the Simpsons (circa 1991, great sounds). There were others I hadn’t seen before: Starship Troopers (neat third flipper), Doctor Who (being repaired) and the Dallas Cowboys (I figure the other teams have machines, won a match score). It’s easier to remember the games which are licensed properties yet if they’re not well designed, they don’t get played much.

Somara didn’t have as much fun as I did, she needs a couple tutorials from me on the zen of these games. Thankfully there was a functioning Galaga console which she prefers over the PS3’s emulation. Until she lets me make her my pinball padawan, I need an interim arcade buddy to tag along…I still have $10 in tokens remaining to justify a return trip while it remains BYOB.

How I can’t wait to drag my nephews and niece to this place.

Posted in Arcade Games, Austintatious | Leave a comment