Twenty years ago, my last Best Friend left Milwaukee and it was a painful, sad moment, especially in light of everything else starting to go my way that year. Keep in mind, I didn’t know Nelson very well, he didn’t count yet.
For 1991, matters were off to a rough beginning: underemployment, debts looming, a cynical war with Iraq which could morph into a draft, a nagging girlfriend (Carrie), the cold weather and the list could go on.
It wasn’t an utter disaster. There were moments of bliss I have always remembered fondly. The most frequent instances involved my after-work activities. When the Sentinel was put to bed around Midnight, I punched out, hoofed it West in the cold via Wells Avenue, put the kettle on in my apartment, turned on the stereo (purchased foolishly the day my Visa limit went from $500 to $3000), to listen to BBC World Service and read a book until I fell asleep as late as 3 AM.
Having graduated at the end of 1990 and having only part-time work, I had all this free time on my hands so I found myself hanging around Jose’s apartment on 16th Street. It was more like a getting re-acquainted period because we had drifted apart after the Summer of ’89. Carrie was a major factor (she could be pretty passive-aggressive in large gatherings), not living in the dorms with my Mashuda clique was another. I think I also let the cooling off period drag out too long; all friends “trapped” in the same dorm area can get testy. Thankfully Jose is a more forgiving person as we had great afternoons/evenings watching stuff from his vast collection of taped comedy specials, before the stand-up bubble burst through Comedy Central. Through these fun sessions I saw Richard Jeni, Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure and The Little Mermaid. During Spring Break, Jose stuck around to make some extra money at Marquette and we “borrowed” one of the empty lecture halls to watch Alien on its projection system.
What else did we do? We made a newsletter on the Biz College’s Macs for our mutual friend Phil attending grad school at Illinois State. I’m sure I have an electronic copy somewhere buried on a DVD-R. I know Jose wrote a couple stories.
Then there was the day we split the difference on a rental car for a job fair in Chicago. The hiring companies were a total bust: Radio Shack, Blockbuster…crap we could’ve stayed in Milwaukee to do. Our side expedition to eat at a White Castle eased the pain of disappointment. I think it was his first time eating there.
Lastly, I got to keep an eye on Jose’s pad and watch his TV (mine was damaged by a botched burglary) while he went to New York for an interview with HBO. The stories he brought back about the legendary metropolis were great: his relative’s apartment, going to a real comedy club and the immensity of NYC.
I owed him a huge debt of gratitude for helping me pass the time until I landed a decent full-time job. It’s a miracle Carrie allowed me to have those evenings away from her. Read on about how we evened up though.
By May, my employment situation turned the corner when I scored a typesetter position at the kinko’s near Southcross Mall. With the Macintosh LC I recently received as a belated graduation present, my desktop publishing skills would improve geometrically and maybe I could get a decent graphic/layout artist position in the near future. This came true…yes, another story for a later time.
I also moved into a house on 20th and National before my apartment lease ran out. I may have been living with four other guys but I had my own room. The place was semi-crazy and deserves a story of its own. (Summer, I promise it will be interesting, especially when I explain the coffin in the basement.)
Everything was falling into place! I had consistent work which meant a steady income. I had an affordable place to live with enough privacy to appease Carrie (actually, it was a male version of her accommodations). I had a couple cool friends to share this with because my girlfriend decided to freak out instead of be thrilled.
Freak out? It’s the polite phrase I would use to describe Carrie’s sudden meltdown.
I have no idea what snapped. After all the Saturday nights I ruined by being broke, I figured she’d be excited. Instead, Carrie’s paranoia kicked in. She always had some fear I’d turn gay and/or dump her. With me, there was no cause for alarm on the former despite this happening to another past boyfriend. On the dumping scenario, Carrie kept pressing the issue to the point of nearly making it come true; she hated any female friends I had.
The guy who ran the house, Greg, threw a party within a couple weeks of me moving in. I think he wanted to celebrate the school year’s end and relief over landing three new roommates to help cover the rent (it was his uncle’s property). Before the festivities, one roomie had his girlfriend come by. She also brought her friend Beth along. For reasons I can never recall, I got press ganged into giving Beth the grand tour. This ‘duty’ led to us hitting it off which was a surprise but it was reassuring for one big reason: if Carrie and I called it quits, life afterwards wouldn’t be an utter catastrophe. There weren’t plans for Beth to be Carrie’s replacement, the encounter was really more of a morale boost. I originally didn’t put much stock in the tour until the evening wore on.
Within an hour, more guests arrived with Jose amongst them. Carrie was expected eventually (and grudgingly). The primary festivities were conducted in the basement with the kegs on ice in a coffin, a common joke/theme with Greg. Roommate Jim discovered a dart board so we both retrieved our steel tips to play some 301. Beth volunteered to keep score. Now I was sensing something was up with her. (Somara says I can be oblivious to women flirting with me; that night I was more alert.) Jose chose to watch…hit on Beth, get shot down and proceed to cop a hefty buzz. When he noticed Beth’s interest in me while we were conversing, he cock blocked me by blurting out, “Hey Mag, when’s your girlfriend Carrie getting here?” I reached out, grabbed him by the shirt, yanked him forward and growled “C’mere!” There was a terse plea from me asking to be cool since he was already in the loop about Carrie’s recent behavior. He complied and went on to be a conspirator to keep Carrie in the dark (Bart Simpson’s trouble song remains an inside joke). Now we were ‘even’ in my book.
Today we continue to laugh over this incident. It probably came up at our respective bachelor parties. Jose once apologized about it too. I told him to never sweat it. Just remember how funny the whole thing was and maybe one day I would saddle him with this shirt.
Despite our recent misadventures around Milwaukee (this party, the Safehouse and a Phil-caused brawl at Real Chili), I figured Jose was going to put down some roots as I appeared to be doing. He had an internship with the Univision affiliate, maybe something would pan out. Why should the good times stop? We could act like college students without the burden of classes!
It wasn’t meant to be I soon discovered. Jose’s mother was planning to move her legal practice from Puerto Rico to Orlando and she invited him to join her. He wasn’t keen on giving up his freedom but he’d be a fool to give up an offer of free/cheaper room and board. Besides, his dad was going assist him on buying a car, something I badly needed. I had to back his choice. Beyond the weather, I wasn’t sure what the place’s appeal was though. Jose assured me it had a budding media market thanks to Universal Studios and Disney.
Thus, around this time, Jose packed up his belongings, shipped ’em to Orlando and we said our goodbyes. I wanted to cry somewhat because he really helped me get through a rough patch. Jose and Carrie being in Milwaukee were the incentive to stay, keep trying instead of bailing for San Diego or Bloomington-Normal. Now Jose was splitting, leaving me to deal with Carrie on my own. However, I have never begrudged his leaving. He had to do what was best for him. It’s a good thing he did. I wound up landing a publishing gig in Bloomington-Normal by August and within a couple years, his career really got moving as mine continued to have fits.
Distance never kept us apart too much mentally. We maintained contact through letters, cards, long-distance phone calls (in the days when it was ridiculously expensive) and this new development called e-mail via AOL. Jose flew up to Chicago two years later to attend the Silder wedding, we rendezvoused in Milwaukee again in ’94 for Nelson’s, and for late ’95 to ring in the new year at the Silders’ new Baltimore digs. I stayed at Jose’s awesome house in late ’96 to celebrate a new year in a balmier climate and he returned the favor by coming to Austin in the Spring of ’97.
The list of visits could go on somewhat. I’m just excited about him and Nancy coming to Austin for my birthday this Summer! Jose hasn’t seen my adopted home in 14 years. I can only hope he won’t be bored, more than half of what he took in has closed up: Katz’s, Technophilia, Dobie and Einstein’s Arcade.
I suppose my larger point regarding Jose leaving for Orlando is that it didn’t mark an ending to our friendship of three years; it was the beginning of another chapter to the next two decades.
