Check out Molly’s pretty, new nails

As you can see from Molly's face, she isn't pleased with these nail covers.

To answer your immediate thought/question, no, we didn’t paint Molly’s nails (or claws, somedays talons). Our arms would be covered in blood and scratches. Sadly, she is also the most cooperative cat of the quartet when it comes to clipping.

What we finally got around to last night was applying these plastic covers on her nails. First you have to clip the cat, then get someone (Somara) to hold the cat, fill half each cover with adhesive, apply one per nail (we skipped the dewclaw or cat thumb which couldn’t be accessed) and finally, here’s the tricky part…get the animal to stay still for five minutes while the glue dries. I was successful. I only got some of the gunk on my fingers; the last was washed off this morning.

How long do these things last? According to the box, around eight weeks.

Why did we do it? It’s an experiment since the other three are even less cooperative: Miette and Kuroneko get clipped in multiple sessions, Nemo howls as if we’re murdering him (should I prove he’s the hallway pisser, he might be). Experiment in what? To stop them from tearing up a couple pieces of furniture and to halt the minor pain they inflict when they hop up on me with sharp claws. I know there’s no malice with those incidents (except for Nemo) but when I’m lying in a bed, trying to read a book…ouch!

The four of them have also been fighting more often recently. My current theory is there’s a power shift happening as Molly ages. The nail covers may decrease the minor cuts, scratches and abrasions they’re inflicting; I found a scab on Molly’s ear the other day.

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Got an F on the SciFi Quiz

Yet I remain a fan of the genre. I will readily admit to not reading the heavy hitters (Asimov, boring egoist; Heinlein, yawn; Clarke, cranky about FTL) but I thought I’d get by with a passing grade. Instead I only receive four out of 10 on this rather British quiz. Let me know if you fare better.

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This is a real place

It’s somewhere in Pennsylvania. Most people may know of it from the Simpsons episode of when Bart loses the Olympics for Springfield through his stand-up routine. The joke involving this name happens during Bart’s interview of Superintendent Chalmers, namely, where was he born?

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Happy Birthday Julia

Sonia’s daughter now returns to the Prime Number Club today! Maybe she gets the day off  from school, one can hope, especially when she’s a kid.

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Happy Birthday Jeremy

Good gravy! I wish he mentioned this earlier because we all went to Thor last night (review later) and it never came up. Then “boom!” there’s this blurb in iCal from Somara I had to verify. Now I feel like a total jag. It was his “turn” to cover dinner with the movie when I should’ve covered it for his birthday.

I’ll make it up to him later.

Meanwhile, if you know him, wish him well. If you don’t yet you know me, you should still say something nice through here. Jeremy has been my friend from around 2000 and he’s been pretty good to me.

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The latest weapon in the War on (Cat) Urine

Looks like an ordinary diffuser or a Glade plug-in thing. Yes and no. The ‘yes’ part would refer how the device distributes its solution but in the ‘no’ department, here’s where this differs; instead of some goop to cover up the whiz smell, the bottle contains cat pheromones which should calm down the suspects (Nemo and Molly), thus, they’ll stop marking the floor. Allegedly one or both of them are stressed out about having to share territory. There’s enough to last 28-30 days to see if we get the desired result.

I still can’t see how these damned cats can be stressed. They sleep all day, don’t have to go to work and never have to sweat if there’s food.

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Despicable Me

A rare demonstration of “the competition closing the gap on Pixar.” I think the last one I saw that deserved this title was Over the Hedge which also had Steve Carel. The latter’s success owes more to its source material, a daily newspaper strip which is rare these days. I have watched others: Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs (wasn’t worth the electrons to write about), Robots (so so), Astroboy (another demo of Nic Cage needing the money) and The Ant Bully (small wonder it torpedoed the studio behind Jimmy Neutron).

I like the premise: Gru is a Bond-like villain trying to make a big score (stealing the Moon) for the international attention, fame and whatever else motivates these types. He’s a cross between Blofeld and Wile E Coyote. The three little girls who bring out the best in him were meant to be a diversion for stealing a Chinese shrink ray. It’s a more original story regarding its means on how the relationship develops because the outcome is a given; Despicable‘s main audience is children because Pixar’s rivals haven’t found out how to attract adults beyond this cynical motivation. It is amusing to see Gru embracing his newfound parental role, especially during the ending sequence with a well-known Bee Gees tune.

Therefore Despicable earns my personal endorsement as an animation buff so check it out if you haven’t seen this. We wanted to catch it in theaters last Summer but other more pressing or entertaining options came up, namely our 2010 trip to Vegas. Do I regret missing it, say with the Alamo Drafthouse treatment? Maybe. I’m not sure what could be added to the experience…clips from The Office seems weak, iCarly isn’t much better. With Pixar, you can show all the shorts and historical cartoons the famous studio did before it became Disney’s savior. At least Despicable will age well and be enjoyable in years to come since its jokes aren’t locked to a specific point in time as say the whole Shrek franchise.

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Dusting off my d20 and an editorial regarding the Undead

The technical term is icosahedron and it’s one of the perfect solids in the Ancient Greek mindset. I’m not sure if it was used for their model of the universe which hindered astronomers until Kepler figured out the solar system’s elliptical orbits. Either way, the twenty-sided die is great shorthand for determining success/failure with games since each number represents five percentage points. I used to play a more technical game called RoleMaster (often ridiculed as RollMaster) that employed a pair of ten-sided dice to get the full 100-point spread but it became just a demonstration on splitting hairs.

Moving back to the point…I recently received an invitation to rejoin the old D&D group I co-founded after bailing on them three years ago. I wouldn’t say I was kicked out, I just decided to leave due to one player being an intransigent jerk; I was no longer in the mood for the arguing aspect of D&D. (You’ll never see Hasbro/WOTC or Paizo put that side effect on the box.) Somebody had to go, I made the decision for the group instead of pressuring/politicking. I figured I’d lose if I did, namely from the MinMaxing faction.

Hopefully it’s all water under the bridge. I found other more satisfying things to spend my free time on while still occasionally picking up a product, pondering if I’d ever join a new group. One aspect I was pretty sure about was that I never wanted to DM (referee) again. Being DM was like having an unpaid part-time job but it came with all the bullshit. This time, I can just show up, play, endure the house rules I disagree with and go home. Unlike some others I’ve encountered in my 30 years, I have no interest in playing Stump the DM. I may kibbitz or kvetch along the way yet I will defer to the DM to keep matters moving. Otherwise, I would just sell all this crap off. The online versions don’t interest me since they amplify the tabletop versions’ biggest problem, playing with the socially retarded who epitomize the hobby to the general public: see here, here and of course here (gotta’ wait for it near the end).

This may get me to finally write some reviews I put off, namely these new condition cards Paizo released. I made something similar years ago. Paizo’s are more elegant; I can’t draw to save my life.

Now to get one peeve off my chest. The group has moved on to using the Pathfinder set of rules, a crappy name but a thousand times superior to D&D’s Fourth Edition (aka WoW for tabletop). PF fixed roughly 80 percent of D&D’s Third Edition (aka 3.5) glitches, retained 10, worsened five and introduced a new five percent. Its advantages heavily outweighed its flaws which made it the winner though.

However, I do not agree with their ruling on Undead monsters (zombies, skeletons, vampires, ghouls, ghosts, mummies, etc.) being subject to any critical damage unless it is through magical means. Why? In the case of corporeal Undead, they’re all dead bodies animated by evil energy/spirits, therefore they have no vulnerable body parts to injure. Defenders of this decision are on weaker ground with non-corporeal monsters (mainly ghost-like creatures) since shadows, wraiths, spectres and banshees are intangible, so where’s the weak spot? This allowance in the rules is just capitulation to the powergamers who bitched about their rogues not getting to use sneak attack damage on the Undead and/or trying to make rangers useful by saying the Undead can be a favored opponent; never mind how much this family of monsters varies, it’s equal to saying a ranger can have Mammals as a choice.

The counter-argument is usually based upon the now overexposed zombie-horror flicks. Since George Romero’s Night of the Living Dead, zombies can be defeated if you destroy their heads/brains. The same could be said of weaker vampires (normally called spawns) in Tarantino/Rodriguez’s From Dusk ’til Dawn. Ergo, all Undead can be “killed” this way for the sneak attack/critical damage represents those fatal head shots everyone loves in Shaun of the Dead or Zombieland.

Here’s the flaw in this logic via my rebuttal:

  1. What about the skeletons from Jason and the Argonauts? They were unstoppable and Jason had to jump off a cliff to escape from them.
  2. Look how relentless the tomb minions were in The Mummy (1999) despite shotgun blasts. Nothing vital there since the Egyptians allegedly removed all the internal organs.
  3. All zombies in said films were once living people who contracted a disease, a virus (28 Days Later) or were partially exposed to a comet (obviously, Night of the Comet). Technically they’re not dead despite the symptoms contracted by bite victims.
  4. Zombies from the Fantasy genre (which D&D and PF are a part of) are corpses animated by magic or divine/evil powers. They’re automatons made of rotting flesh and no “working parts.” The villains could animate statues or more durable materials but it’s easier to find a cemetery than a quarry.
  5. Lastly, how this applies to the non-corporeal Undead remains unaddressed in addition to vampires, mummies, liches and wights.

I could see one exception, ghouls/ghasts which have always been the Un-Undead; they “reproduce” by infecting those they don’t successfully devour. They and vampires are the only Undead who seek out the living in order to feed themselves too. The remaining gain nothing from killing other than XP.

Before your eyes roll so far into the backs of your heads, I remember they’re just games and movies. I’m just a balance proponent with games. Thanks to computers/consoles having cheat modes, they’ve amplified a problem tabletop games have suffered from for years…players who can’t enjoy D&D unless they’re invincible.

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And so hockey is over for me this year

This began around mid March. It got to about Civil War General length

Throughout round two of the 2011 Stanley Cup Playoffs, the “7:30 PM Flyers” showed up at all four games; it’s a term I picked up from Flyers’ correspondent Tim Panaccio. Face-off is at 7 PM but the Flyers don’t really start playing for another half hour so by then they’re already behind the eight ball.

So I’m not shocked they were swept by a more aggressive, overhauled (from 2010) Bruins team, especially when they couldn’t eliminate the Sabres in less than seven games. I’m just more irritated at them winning the Atlantic Division, taking the number two spot in East and then playing like crap, as if they were the number eight pity seed team like the NBA allows. Yeesh! If the last part was the plan, I would’ve preferred them to just forfeiting and admitting they’re late for their 10 AM tee time with the Devils and Islanders.

Thus, this morning, I trimmed my beard down to what I usually have it at. It’s gone from General Grant to General Sherman.

Who will I cheer for now? As much as I hate Bruins fans (they’re like BoSox fans, they can’t win the Cup or else they’ll have nothing to bitch about), I’m siding with them because I would like to see Mark Recchi end his career on a high note. For the West, I respect the Red Wings yet it’s not their year. I have to go with the Sharks since the Canucks will choke despite Hockey News‘ endorsement and the Cup has no place in NASCAR territory.

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Slate‘s Cats of War piece

A rather fun take on how our feline friends have helped out in America’s numerous wars. Knowing our four cats, they’re probably jealous and tired of hearing about that dog who assisted in the bin Laden hit.

I wish I held on to the tabloid piece regarding the spy cat being taught English so he could infiltrate Iraq’s insurgency. Yes, English, not Arabic, French or Farsi. I guess the target audience must subscribe to the Drew Barrymore school of acting; when playing a French princess, talk in a horrible Brit accent.

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2001: Cool work trip to Phoenix

This was my last flying, out-of-state trip on Apple’s dime for three days. Within a year of joining Servers & Apps, I had become an expert on Macintosh Manager (discontinued after the release of 10.5) so the bosses picked me to do presentations for two wealthier school districts: Paradise Valley and Deer Valley.

The first day was spent traveling and getting adjusted since Arizona was now two hours behind Texas. When I arrived at the airport, there was a guy offering a limo ride to my hotel near Camel Back. How much I asked? Ten bucks. I took it because I never had been in one…just didn’t get around to this when I was younger, namely the silly college drinking game. Three New Yorkers who just landed joined me. Later in the evening when I had dinner with the Apple sales manager coordinating this effort asked how I got to the hotel, I sheepishly told him by limo. He said, put it on the expense report. I replied, I couldn’t, it was a limo, a vanity ride, I could eat the $10. He chuckled and responded that I got a bargain over any cab.

Back to earlier. Boy did I get there soon. I ended up killing time wandering around the nearby outdoor mall, lunch at an Ed Debevics and finding a modem port in a kinko’s (Wi-Fi access remained rare). With the latter discovery, I checked it to keep the managers informed on my whereabouts.

The training sessions were rather route affairs. Basic troubleshooting and isolation on how attack the call drivers involving Macintosh Manager with AppleShare IP 6.3 as the foundation. Mac OS X Server 10.0 remained too new for wider deployments. The iconic white iBooks were announced during a break with my second day’s presentations at Deer Valley. Unlike the earlier iBooks, these had a “serious” design; people often made jokes of the color iBooks resembling gay clams or toilet seats.

Other fun events outside of working?

  • Taking my future in-laws to dinner (Yvette and Lance) on night number two. I think Rad showed too. I hope he did.
  • Enjoying the warmer weather was a coup; Austin was nice but Phoenix was much better.
  • Getting grief from Somara over a phone call home; our new cat Miette went into heat before her operation at White Rock. Normally, Miette is quiet and only gets vocal when hungry, needy or harassed by Nemo. In her amorous condition, Miette was an utter, non-stop noise machine banished to the porch.

The last incident was a near-miss while we were heading toward Deer Valley. While driving through a rather patchy part of Phoenix, I saw a castle-like building with purple awnings. My immediate reaction was, cool, a Knight’s Inn, I haven’t seen one since the Eighties. I just about blurted this out and then spotted the dark windows and bars. It was a Castle Boutique, a regional chain known for selling, ahem, adult items and accessories. Dodge a major faux pas bullet with a major sales guy.

Overall, a great, productive and awesome time. It ended on the flight home…through a thunderstorm surrounding Austin. The plane made a couple dips and/or shifts on the approach. Many passengers made the collective “whoa!” noise, as if this were a roller coaster. I wish I fainted instead of the adrenalin rush I got. No clue what Somara gave me or I insisted on having after I hopped in her truck: steak? beer? Something to get the memory flushed before re-experiencing it on the mattress.

One time, I dozed off on the top bunk in college and right when I was on the verge of zonking out, the bed “dropped” a 100 feet making me clutch on to it for dear life. It wasn’t real. It was a weird replay in my mind of the turbulence my flight from San Diego encountered. Hence, I try to stuff myself with food or booze to pass out sooner, get into a deeper state to prevent any “simulations.”

In conclusion, Phoenix rocked again and I couldn’t wait to visit soon. I got my wish a year later with Rad’s wedding.

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50,000,000 Chucks Fans Can’t be Wrong!

A 20-plus quest was resolved this evening at the Converse outlet store tonight! How I have wanted a pair of Chucks in gold lamé (fake or not) because these resemble the greatest suit worn by the King. I plan to take extra special care with these since the material might be a tad delicate and these normally go for $100/pair.

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RIP: Bill Campbell

Forever known as Commander Koloth from Star Trek and DS9, many forget he was also the Squire at Gothos which is unofficially the Federation’s first encounter with the Q; in a Peter David-based novel for ST:NG, Squire is Q’s stepson.

When I used to subscribe to the really pricey but well produced Star Trek magazine in the Nineties, there was a piece on Bill. It featured his work in coordinating one of the biggest annual conventions around LA since he enjoyed his two roles. The article included a picture of him in an Elvis movie too!

Sadly, the New York Times obit brought something older Americans, conspiracy theorists and GOP nutjobs relished…his first wife was known as Sam Giancana’s mistress.

Bill will be missed. For the Klingons, he brought a sense of cockiness, deceit, arrogance and overconfidence to the Federation’s rival empire. Demonstrating how the Klingons didn’t always antagonize Kirk and the gang through just brute force or violence, they could play mind games too. John Byrne gave Koloth a good part in his recent Romulan miniseries for IDW.

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Happy Birthday Jose

Today he is the “answer” at 42.

Wish him Happy Birthday via his iPhone, his FaceBook page (about the only way most people get off their ass to communicate now) or a traditional card via the USPS.

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Futurama Monopoly coming!

It’s gonna’ fun on the bun as Bender would say. The game won’t be out for about half a year but in the meantime, vote every day for the little details you want to customize the iconic game.

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