First Wave Miniseries

It has been so long since I’ve written anything about comic books, I even considered retiring the category or having it rolled in with the Books part which was recently languishing. I still read ’em, it’s the part involving a post I kept falling down on the job with these last couple years. Miniseries or one-shots are usually the easiest to tackle. Sadly, my current subs to ongoing titles are sucking. I blame DC’s craziness with crossovers and yet another universe-changing Crisis.

This kick off to DC’s pulp revival was an interesting attempt but rumor has it the whole line may be cancelled later this year. I’ll cover what this one was about anyway because the concept did pique my interest.

About five years after the War ends, a young Bruce Wayne begins his new career as Batman to combat corruption in Gotham City. Unlike the traditional Batman of the last last 70 years, this one uses guns like Bob Kane had him originally doing. Anyway, Batman; the Spirit; Justice, Inc. and the Blackhawks get pulled into a larger story involving Doc Savage Jr. investigating how his father (Sr.) died and the secretive Golden Tree organization. Things start off pretty interestingly but by the last issue, it ends rather abruptly. First Wave is no New Frontier which has become the gold standard of retrofitting DC’s iconic characters.

The artwork and dialog are first rate. I only have two bones to pick. Doc Savage and the guy from Justice, Inc. looked too similar so I got a little confused at a couple points. The other one involved a lack of consistency with technology. What year is it supposed to be? Which war ended recently? The clothes, buildings and slang are from the Thirties to Forties while the Blackhawks fly aircraft from at least the Seventies, reporters have handheld recorders and the Golden Tree is trying to retrieve data burned to a CD-R/DVD-R/Blu-Ray. Maybe the creative team wants to recapture the look from the Batman cartoon of the Nineties. To me it’s a minor nuisance yet it should be addressed.

It would be a shame if the rumors are true regarding the line’s cancellation. These venerable creations are cornerstones to modern comics but the audience just isn’t large enough for them to be viable in this form. DC should’ve taken the past failures of The Shadow and The Phantom movies from the Nineties as hints.

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Confederate States of America


As a huge fan of alternate realities (Sliding Doors and the upcoming Another Earth), seeing this take on a Confederate victory for the anniversary of the Civil War was somewhat disappointing. The initial approach taken is interesting (see below) but there are numerous jumps in the events’ logic which vary from implausible to downright ludicrous (again, see below). I know it’s only a movie. However, effective storytelling trumps everything, especially with historical fiction. It’s ruined further with Spike Lee’s finger wagging during the ending credits.

Back to the approach. Presenting what America would be like under the Confederacy in 90 minutes is a conundrum. Do you tell a story with this being in the background like others did in Fatherland (Nazi Germany forces WWII into a stalemate) or The Difference Engine (The US is divided into four nations and can’t threaten Victorian England’s American holdings)? Do you retell the events which could lead to such an outcome (I can’t think of anything beyond Star Trek episodes)? Due to the film’s limited budget (as it shows), the movie is a brief peek into this alternate universe through State TV’s affiliate in San Francisco. It’s a special evening too, the government has allowed the airing of a controversial British documentary about the Confederacy’s history after 1863, as seen by other nations, namely the UK and Canada.

So what was the crucial moment to cause history to shift? The Confederacy successfully gains Britain and France as allies through its Secretary of State Judah P Benjamin. Union forces at Gettysburg are then easily defeated since Confederate troops have European assistance. This allied army then marches north, takes Washington DC and burn New York and Boston to ruins. Lincoln tries to escape to Canada with Harriet Tubman as his guide but they’re captured in Michigan. Lincoln receives a two-year prison sentence while Tubman is hanged. The South then starts to implement changes nationwide:

  • Renaming the nation from “the United” to the Confederate States of America.
  • Making the Confederate Constitution the new law of the land. It wasn’t terribly different than the original.
  • Legalizing slavery in every state. Substantial tax deductions for ownership are used as an incentive to get Yankees to adopt this practice. Sadly, it works.
  • Any Black man who served in the Union Army is executed.
  • The remaining freed Northern Blacks are re-enslaved. This horrible fate is pressed upon all the Southern freemen too, including those of mixed race.
  • Most importantly and the our Neo-Confederates would love this, the Civil War’s name is officially changed to the War of Northern Aggression.

Some things don’t change:

  • The Plains Indians Wars in the late 19th Century.
  • Black Tuesday in 1929 ushering in the worldwide Depression.
  • War with Japan in the Forties.
  • Unrest in the Sixties and Seventies.
  • The Internet with porn being the most prosperous thing on it.
  • The South’s patriarchal society with women being second class citizens and how it’s not their business if the master has sex with the female slaves.

Some things we’re familiar with get reversed:

  • Griffiths’ infamous silent movie and Klan PR piece Birth of a Nation becomes The Lost Cause with a pity perspective for the North.
  • Gone with the Wind is replaced by another title on something to soften Southern attitudes toward those misguided Yankees.
  • Since the KKK isn’t necessary, the John Brown Society appears instead to terrorize slave owners and help Blacks escape to Canada.
  • Nixon and Kennedy belong to the opposite parties for their 1960 debate. The same goes for Reagan yet he was always a racist.
  • FedEx is called ConEx.
  • Canada is the CSA’s nemesis and continues to be when the documentary airs, sometime after the 2000 election.

Here are some events which ratchet things up into implausibility:

  • The legal enslavement of Asians in California unless they willfully left.
  • The Confederacy’s successful campaign to conquer Latin and South America from 1900-1940. (The South did want to do this to compensate for Free States in the West. Besides, if France failed to hold on to Mexico, I doubt the CSA’s chances would’ve been any better.)
  • The Confederacy only fights Japan in WWII. With Nazi Germany, Hitler was convinced to enslave European Jews by the CSA’s ambassador because exterminating them was considered wasted labor, hence the UK, USSR and France are on their own with the Axis but still win. (The South’s Anglophilia and obligation for Gettysburg would make them ally with the UK despite sharing the Nazis’ White supremacist views.)
  • A Berlin-like wall between the CSA and Canada called the Cotton Wall.

There was one variable I’m on the fence with since I see many Southerners seething for this to come true, especially in the eyes of Fundamentalists. Around the 1880s, Congress passes a law making Christianity the state religion. All other beliefs must leave or convert. Catholicism barely makes the cut and Jews are moved to a reservation on Long Island as a compromise for Secretary Benjamin’s contribution in saving the nation.

Peppered throughout the movie are commercial breaks plugging products with racist themes such as toothpaste, a fried-chicken restaurant, a couple sitcoms, cigarettes, a kitchen cleanser, slave-pacification drugs, electronic shackles, careers in being a slave overseer (akin to being a veterinarian), insurance and the Bureau of Race (rewards for reporting someone with Black blood trying to pose as White). Some products really existed until recently as the closing credits explain.

The historian in me just has to call bullshit on the Gettysburg part being the film’s crux. Firstly, France and Britain coming to the Confederacy’s aid was a million-to-one long shot. They were not fans of the Union or Lincoln for economic reasons yet I don’t think either European government could convince their citizens to assist a slave-owning society they found morally repugnant: the UK outlawed slavery a generation earlier and its navy often attacked these operations in Africa. Secondly, the Confederacy was outnumbered at least three-to-one so they were fighting a defensive war hoping the Union would eventually grow tired of it and sign a peace treaty allowing both nations to co-exist. Any invasion into the North would be temporary as Union forces regrouped and reinforcements from the West and freed Black populations arrived. Lastly, I don’t think Europe wanted a clear winner. They would’ve been more satisfied with the the two-nation solution as it would help them re-exert their influence in the Americas, France’s invasion of Mexico in 1863 proves this.

Since Gettysburg’s aftermath makes the premise unravel and CSA‘s production values are on par with syndicated television circa the Eighties (see Charles in Charge or Small Wonder), this is barely better than most SyFy-exclusive productions. It’s a nice attempt but I can think of a dozen more productive things I could’ve done with the 90 minutes I wasted, namely reading a credible book about the Civil War.

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Quite the new jersey I have

Most Thursday nights Jeremy and I go skating at Northcross Mall. Hard to believe that it’s quite a workout going around in circles…well, more like ovals. Then afterwards, we usually hit the nearby  Starbucks for coffee to warm up.

Earlier this week, my new Stars jersey arrived. It’s the white version with my name and number (68). Pretty sweet. Besides looking great, the jersey is appropriate for staying warm while skating.

A young lady working there asked if I played for the Stars. We laughed and I wondered why she thought such a thing, given that my nose isn’t broken in several places. Her response was based upon my name being on the jersey.

Certainly makes it worth the $300 price tag. Maybe I should’ve taken this tactic when I was younger and single.

The funny incident for sure but is it better than being told my playoff beard looked good by Ice Girl Sarah?

Tonight the Stars play what could be their last home game for 2010-11. I’m hoping we can beat the Milwaukee Admirals to ratchet up the pressure before they face each other Monday in the Bradley Center.

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RIP Elisabeth Sladen aka Sarah Jane Smith

It was sad to catch the news from a diehard Dr. Who fan at work. I had no idea she was ill, I only knew she starred in a spinoff show which tied together with some crossover involving Torchwood.

Many SciFi fans may have recognized Sladen if they casually watched episodes of Dr. Who on PBS since the Tom Baker years were the most commonly distributed shows when I was a kid. According to The Guardian, she was also the first Companion to have any level of celebrity.

She will be missed, especially in light of the ongoing Dr. Who renaissance happening this weekend: the BBC is debuting the new season in as many nations as soon as possible. No more multi-week or month delay before it’s shown in America.

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And I always blamed Jenny

Contrary to a popular myth, the song “867-5309/Jenny” didn’t cause TV shows and movies to start using the “555” prefix. It was a tradition begun in the Fifties since they often said “KLondike 5” for phone numbers. I’ve never understood the need for a word because I usually could remember over a dozen seven-digit numbers until my first cell phone made this ability pointless. Trust me, when I’m asked to give a contact number, I have to scramble through my iPhone to check.

Twenty years ago, I remember Details magazine publishing an article about the results they got calling all those famous pop-song numbers in their area code (probably NYC or LA). A couple of the answerers were pretty funny. I was amazed they dialed “PEnnsylvannia 65000.” Only my grandparents knew that joke.

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CD Collection version 1 posted

While I was perusing the various goodies at Waterloo Records for Record Store Day, I saw these various Roxy Music and Blondie remasters on sale. Awesome! Too bad I can’t remember which titles I already own or would want to replace. I could run back to my car, pull out my portable, fire it up and then find out via the FileMaker database. There is a solution for the iPad but I have yet to try it.

However, FileMaker does have the ability to export the information into a quick n’ dirty Web page. I plan to clean it up from time to time because it has some glitches (alphabetical errors, spelling, style and the format is undesirable). Check it out and let me know what you think.

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Somara is due for surgery at month’s end

Firstly, nobody panic or worry. Somara is going in for this really easy outpatient thing on a Friday. The doctor make a small incision, does his thing and she goes home. Afterwards Somara just kicks back for a long weekend until she returns to work the following Tuesday.

What is it? I will leave it to her to discuss. It’s nothing horrible like cancer but Somara’s quality of live should improve.

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The Confederate and Neo-Confederate Reader: The “Great Truth” about the “Lost Cause” edited by James Loewen & Edward Sebesta

I finally finished a book on my iPad! Thus this review will be in two parts. The first will cover this collection’s content co-edited by a name I trust with History, Dr. James W. Loewen of Lies My Teacher Told Me fame. The second will be my reading experience through the Kindle software for iPad.

This year is the Sesquicentennial of the American Civil War’s beginning. Most experts agree that the Confederate attack against Fort Sumter (April 12, 1861) was the “opening kick off” to the nation’s most devastating war; 600,000-plus died (50 percent more than WWII). But shortly after Johnston surrendered to Sherman, the never-ending Neo-Confederate campaign to re-write the war’s origins, outcomes and events got underway. As a Yankee (by birth and conviction), I have grown tired of their revisionism, especially when they start talking shit about Abraham Lincoln, wearing sic semper tyrannus T-shirts and brandishing the “Confederate” flag which was the battle flag for the Army of North Virginia, the real one caused confusion for both armies. The current myth du jour making the rounds now is the Confederate Army having hundreds to thousands of Black soldiers. I guess this lie is more palatable than the fallacious “Heritage Not Hate” campaign.

Not only did the South lose, they were on the wrong side of History from the beginning. It can be very hard to find such a perspective amongst the American people today thanks to the Neo-Confederates and their allies: modern Republicans, Dixiecrats, most Libertarians and Fundamentalist Christians. For generations they’ve been “working the refs” (nod to Eric Alterman) to whitewash the sick socio-economic regime. Sadly, they’ve been winning. On Lincoln’s 200th birthday, I heard many of the Neo-Confederate talking points being re-hashed from some reasonably educated and intelligent people. Having spent part of my childhood in Springfield, IL (1979-82); it turned my stomach listening to these Neo-Confederate dupes.

There is hope through this compilation. Loewen and Sebesta provide the best rebuttal to combat the falsehoods, key excerpts of the South’s own words before, during and after the Civil War. They preface the collection with a little quiz Loewen gave to history buffs in North Carolina and college students in Minnesota; something similar to what he did earlier in the Washington Post this year. The primary question he asked was why did the South secede? There are four commonly agreed upon answers: slavery; states’ rights; tariffs and taxes; and Lincoln’s election. Both audiences’ majorities voted for states’ rights (around 50 percent) which is dead wrong; misinformation isn’t a regional problem. Only a quarter chose slavery, the actual reason and this is verified throughout the first three chapters.

I myself have been guilty on swallowing some of the errors too. How? When I was a kid in the Seventies, I thought and believed the war was over slavery, it’s what the teachers and textbooks said. As I grew older, “slavery” seemed too simplistic. Why? In high school and college I learned more about the conflict’s nuances so my wrong answer was more of a cop out…several things caused, slavery was just one factor. The other influence to my stock answer would be my encounters with other White Northerners whose attitudes towards Blacks were equally racist, especially when they were from cities: Chicago, Milwaukee, St. Louis, Philadelphia, Peoria and Springfield. If these fellow Yankees thought Blacks were lazy, dumb, violent, promiscuous and/or dishonest, I really doubt their ancestors fought the Confederacy to liberate a group they considered inferior.

My overall opinion never changed though: the North under Lincoln did the right thing because the South wanted to perpetuate an unrealistic civilization by any means necessary. (They even wanted to expand slavery to Latin America and the Caribbean by having America’s military conquer those neighbors.) Southerners often conveniently forget they attacked the Union first and left Lincoln no other option but to respond in kind with force. I would like to hope we’ve advanced since then…all signs point toward “not really.”

The book is divided into these sections:

  1. Pre-Civil War 1787-1860
  2. Secession 1860
  3. Civil War 1861-65
  4. Reconstruction 1866-90
  5. The Nadir 1890-1940
  6. Civil Rights 1940-Present

Every period and most pieces are introduced by the editors with some vital context: what’s the state of the nation; who are these authors/speakers; so on. I always wondered what the aberration between Reconstruction and Civil Rights was called, The Nadir is very fitting. Many school textbooks never reconcile this ugly period in American history. They make the Civil Rights movement after WWII seem like something suddenly spontaneous.

Reading about the police state the Confederacy ran was worth the price tag on this book alone. Lincoln’s critics constantly bring up how he suspended habeas corpus and exceeded his Constitutional war-time authority. Lincoln is guilty on all charges but he did them out of necessity and desperation. He was still wrong for doing them in my opinion so it does stain his legacy. However, the Confederacy was more autocratic under Davis: the government owned key industries (Gasp! Socialism in Dixie!); prices were regulated; passes were required for rail travel; people were frequently arrested and sometimes executed for any Union sympathies; martial law was imposed on multiple Southern cities; and the Confederate Army had a more far-reaching draft than the Union. Here’s a fun fact to turn the states’ rights argument on its head; Davis frequently complained about the lack of cooperation he received as states exercised their individual powers against the wishes of the larger body. Nice to see it haunt the Confederacy since they were originally against this legal argument. It was also a contributing factor to them losing the war as states held back some manpower to prevent slave uprisings.

Many excerpts can be a chore to read unless you’re into the verbose 19th Century style. They still drive the point home on what motivated the secession before the war, slavery. There’s nothing regarding tariffs or Federal overreach. With the latter, the South complains more often about how weak the Federal government is on enforcing fugitive slave laws, opening the territories to slavery and arresting abolitionists for inflammatory activities.

Obviously the rhetoric changes during the Reconstruction and beyond because the South had come to accept (grudgingly) slavery as at least a distasteful matter. The White supremacist element remains thanks to it being a shared disease in the North: sundown towns, “understood” policies (what I call the Yankee segregation I saw in Milwaukee and Chicago bars) and economic infighting amongst the immigrant populations.

The scariest excerpt is dated 2003. It’s from some crank named Frank Conner claiming “how we got here.” Here being the usual claptrap of the South being under siege from Jews with their allies: Blacks and Liberals. He’s probably involved with the Teabaggers now since they share his ongoing distrust/paranoia.

Reader is mandatory for any Civil War buff’s collection. I think key sections should be given to high school students but I live in Texas so I know I will be overruled there; if it doesn’t promote blind patriotism, it’s considered wrong with the hyper-partisan SBOE. Lastly, I recommend it to my fellow Yankees. We have nothing to be ashamed of. We never did. The South’s lost cause is just their sick rationalization they need to get over.

Part Two: How was it on Kindle software via the iPad?

Overall, good but imperfect. Reading was better than I anticipated. Amazon makes claims about their hardware being superior due to the display emulating paper. My iPad’s LCD wasn’t any serious hindrance. I often liked having the portability and instantaneous the iPad provided when I felt like reading: during intermissions at Stars’ games, my lunch hour and before bed (my doctor says not to do this though, it puts your mind “on the hunt”). The downside was navigating. If I needed to scroll back to look up something for this review, it was just easier to start from the cover and use the Table of Contents’ links to jump to the chapters I wanted to re-read. A traditional book would’ve been more efficient. My biggest peeve was Kindle’s formatting. There weren’t any clear breaks to tell you when the editors were done commenting and the author/speaker began. I had to pay attention to the shift in language to know when it happened.

Will I continue reading via Kindle? Sure. I have several more books I received through a gift card and many are published through this over iBooks.

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Villain Supply, now Source…rediscovered!

This comedy site disappeared a few years ago because its founder lost interest. The only way to see most of it was through some other guy’s archive project. Unfortunately, it didn’t have all the graphics namely the painfully truthful dig at Ayn Rand’s hypocrisy. In celebration of her “opus” arriving at theaters today (it will be as successful as the Christian Porn Left Behind and Battlefield Earth franchises), I stumbled upon the successor site yesterday. Seems it’s the same person or someone else who took up the baton.

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Why I shouldn’t gargle at my desk

Currently, I am still trying shake off a sore throat I have had for about a week. It’s probably the side effect of yet another sinus infection or what I like to call the Austin malaise. Paradise always comes with a price.

Besides the usual regimen entailing Mucinex, throat-comfort tea, cough drops, lozenges and plenty of fluids, I gave in this morning to do the one thing I hate…gargling with warm salt water. Blech! Having the soup at some cafeteria chain my grandmother loved would get you the same effect; salt with some water in it. However, I want this to go away and finally gave in this morning.

New condition, don’t do it at my cubicle any more. On the third round, I gagged and did a spit-take Danny Thomas would’ve been proud of…all over my 24″ LED/LCD. I cleaned it up pretty easily. At least it gave Somara a chuckle, maybe it will for the three readers I may have.

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Shortened AHL season 2011-12

The Board of Governors voting to shorten the season from 80 to 76 games was a surprise to me. As the league finally reached 30 teams I figured they wanted the AHL to be close to parity with its NHL parent. Then again, this is a development league.

Shortening the first round of the playoffs to a best-of-five series is fine with me. Personally I think both leagues should do this. Best of three in the first round, best of five in the second and best of seven for the remaining contests.

Seems the decision also took our team’s organization by surprise since they sent an e-mail on telling us season-ticket holders to sit tight because this may change the price.

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1981: Columbia launch

I remember this Sunday morning pretty well. The launch went off before my brother and I had to report to our altar boy duties at the nearby convent. It was exciting to see the first space shuttle finally operate. American efforts in Space had been shelved after the mid Seventies and all NASA had ever done since was demonstrate Enterprise gliding in for a landing in live TV. The Moon landings were hard acts to follow.

Now we’re going back to rockets as the remaining three vehicles will be donated to museums. Maybe I’ll get to see one up close since I figure the Smithsonian will receive either Endeavor, Atlantis or Discovery. I favor the latter because it was the name of the ship in 2001.

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1961: Yuri Gagarin orbits the Earth

I’m glad the traditional Cold War is over. Celebrating this achievement used to get you branded a traitor by idiots. Regardless of which nation succeeded in getting a person into Space first, the world should rejoice at the accomplishment. It only sucks when Gagarin’s flight is put into context with the larger picture: the Soviet Union and the US only kept sending people into Space for military advantages. This continues today, there’s just more participants in the contest.

Yuri Gagarin was a brave guy. The whole flight was on autopilot and he was the Soviets’ third attempt. Number one died sometime along the flight and number two crashed in China which held him as a “guest” for about a year.

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The NHL/AHL playoffs are upon us

Both of my teams practically petered out over the big finale weekend, namely the (Austin) Stars who couldn’t seal the deal by losing their last two games. What a bummer to get smoked 2-0 in the final home appearance before a sell-out crowd. The insult on top of the injury was losing to OKC, the Capital of the Flat-Earth Society. The back-to-back defeats knocked out our chances for the second spot in the West Division and we’re settling for fourth, therefore, we will never have home ice unless the OKC Barons upset the Hamilton Bulldogs and the Hartford Whale or Norfolk Admirals do the same out east. How do the Stars look against the Milwaukee Admirals? They did alright against them in the regular season. Dallas sent Vincour and Lukowich back so these guys will really help. My bigger concern is hoping our offensive punch from Rallo, Morin, Wathier and Spang won’t get snakebit. I don’t think our luck will hold out like last year.

Since we don’t see any team from the Eastern Conference besides Syracuse, I will only go on a limb regarding the outcome of the Western.

  • Hamilton Bulldogs v. OKC Barons > Hamilton Bulldogs easily, they’re really good and the town is nuts about them.
  • Cleveland Monsters v. Winnipeg Moose > Winnipeg Moose. Monsters only got it together near the end, the Moose are more consistent.
  • Houston Aeros v. Peoria Rivermen > Peoria Rivermen. Here I’m probably guilty of wishful thinking since the Aeros had our number in regular play.

What is my prediction with the Stars? I think the advantage goes to the Admirals but we have a chance to beat them under a couple conditions.

  1. The Stars can win at least one of the first two games in Milwaukee, very tough in the Bradley Center. It’ll stun them, make them doubt their chances here.
  2. Fewer turnovers in the neutral zone, especially during power plays.
  3. Scoring on power plays because the Admirals won’t give up their opportunities.

In the end, the Stars really work best when their backs are against the wall and they’re facing elimination. Stars in seven games.

On to the NHL which might get me incorrectly labeled as bitter since I pointed out how the Chicago Blackhawks weren’t built to last in light of their first, non-rigged Cup in 40-plus years. My Broad Street Bullies once again limped across the finish line but this time they cinched the Atlantic Division. Expectations remain high just like the Stars as they weren’t expected to get past Boston. Currently I have a sub on my iPad to The Hockey News which can’t help show its Canadian prejudice. They predict the Cup battle will be between the Vancouver Canucks and Philly Flyers with the Canucks winning and the Western Conference championship being more challenging; their experts say the Detroit Red Wings are better than the Flyers. I will concede the Red Wings part. Detroit has an organization which wants to build a dynasty more than Philly, only the salary cap keeps them in check. However, the recent cover asks a rhetorical question most hockey fans know the answer to when it comes to the Canucks’ chances. It asks “Can anyone stop Luongo and the Canucks?” Yeah, it’s called the Playoffs due to the history of choking.

Onward with the outcomes:

  • Vancouver Canucks v. Chicago Blackhawks > as I said a while back, Chicago will be playing golf in April. Vancouver will choke in the next round to build suspense.
  • San Jose Sharks v. LA Kings > Sharks but I wouldn’t be surprised to see the Kings given the Sharks’ post-season history.
  • Detroit Red Wings v. Phoenix Coyotes > Red Wings.
  • Anaheim Ducks v. Nashville Predators > Ducks yet who cares.
  • Washington Capitals v. NY Rangers > Capitals, Rangers suck more.
  • Philadelphia Flyers v. Buffalo Sabres > Flyers while a number one goalie will finally surface.
  • Boston Bruins v. Montreal Canadiens > Canadiens, they’re more aggressive and out to avenge Chara’s nasty hit.
  • Pittsburgh Penguins v. Tampa Bay Lightning > Pens or else Bettman will have to enlist Dr. Brown to reverse time to get the outcome he wants.

Let us see how it pans out. I myself am looking forward to collecting my 150 big ones in Las Vegas while Captain Mike Richards hoists the Cup.

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Twelve years with Apple

Today has been off to a rough start for what could’ve been a nice, introspective vacation day I usually take: reflect on where I’ve been, think about where I may be going and whether or not it’s time to move on. Obviously with the economy in the crapper for anyone making less than a million bucks, the options are pretty limited. Cursed addiction to food and shelter.

My point…

April 12, 2011 has been behind the eight ball for matters outside of Apple which is why this post is pretty late. I’ve been fighting off a sore throat thanks to the pollen and temperature shifts around Central Texas. When you’re a phone agent, your voice is your livelihood. It’s like being a Heavy Metal singer without the sex, drugs and rock n’ roll. I spent Sunday lying around to aid my recuperation. It was only partially successful. I got through Monday in a foggy state, grabbed the time-off hours for today on an impulse, hit Waterloo Records on the way home and then hunkered down to relax, figuring my anniversary would be a peaceful catching up/writing episode. Instead there was a personal emergency involving a trip downtown and back around 11 PM. (If I didn’t take Tuesday off, everyone involved would’ve been screwed.) Then Somara and I were going to take separate cars this morning: Somara with the Honda, me with my VW which decided to eat another battery. We’ve been managing via one functional car pretty well though, I think getting mine jumped or a new battery can wait a week. (How I can’t wait to buy a new car for myself and I promise you, it will never be another VW; mine required at least two major repairs before it turned five.)

The car thing wasn’t the end of the world. I originally planned on hoofing it to the local Starbucks all along until Somara got home, afterwards we’d go out for steak to discuss the Q4 budget of the Maggi Republic. Due to being up very late, I stayed in bed as long as the cats would allow. After getting cleaned up and a couple key chores, I make it to the shop’s front door…there’s a sign saying the place will be closed from noon to 3 PM due to the water being shut off. Of all days!

Therefore, I’m piecing this together outside. The battery life on my MacBook Pro has been very impressive. The weather? Even more spectacular. I got that element to go my way for a change. How’s my throat? The soreness is very minor. I’m keeping it pacified through sugar-free cough drops and water. Avoiding moderate or more physical activity helps too…how I miss running on my treadmill.

What about Apple? Today in 1999 I went through my orientation with six other people. Sadly, none of them remain. I think the next-to-last person quit and moved to Brazil about five years ago. Scott was pretty nice and I was bummed to see him leave. I figured he’d outlast me since my tenure got pretty rocky under some incompetent management my team had for a couple years. Matters definitely improved since then. Currently I’m closing in on my second year as a Senior Specialist while all the predecessors got plucked for other things within a year. Did they go to better gigs? Those are a matter of opinion to me. I know they went to places where their talents are put to better use. I also gained a greater appreciation for the work they did now that I’ve walked a mile in their shoes (quick nod to a fave quote Elvis often borrowed)…the job involves much my peers can’t see directly so it’s easy to labeled as extraneous by the rank ‘n file team members.

The most important thing to ask myself though is this…am I still enjoying it? My immediate answer is yes because I said I wouldn’t accept the promotion unless I felt I was making a difference for the team. The recent performance reviews I have received tend to agree which is also reassuring especially when one is battling an evil twin. I’m also in the lead by the numbers since I still consider myself a phone agent, especially when the queues get tight and/or I’m handling an important customer.

A while back I mentioned some news I was holding off until today. I figured by my anniversary it would either be great or the usual…it ended up being the usual. There was an opening in the Training department for a curriculum developer. It entailed mainly writing materials to assist my team on all the upcoming products. How did I do despite not landing it? I got an interview with the hiring manager which was a victory in itself. (Many people get weeded out sans interview and most are often looking for anything to get them off the phone regardless of their qualifications.) I thought my qualifications were solid, especially when my contributions toward Snow Leopard Server preparedness were taken into consideration. The biggest boost I received came from two wonderful ladies and a nice gentleman who is often my political-economic nemesis. The latter was Peter whose advice I took on researching the job to avoid coming off like an amateur in the interview. This led to me talking to Sheree (lady one). She was CD for 10 years before joining the more elite tech support group which I always enjoy interacting with. The biggest favor Sheree did was making sure I didn’t inflate my cover letter; I wanted to be accurate and avoid exaggeration on the assistance I provided her in 2009. Nobody likes a liar. Lady number two was my friend Christina, a recruiter up in Nashville. How I completely spaced on contacting her sooner is beyond me. Christina gave me numerous pointers which made me kick myself for not doing them before; I recently was on the other side of some interviews and witnessed the perspective of what the hiring person is looking for. Christina filled in the gaps I have been missing. I think it also explains why my career has been behind where I probably should be on paper given my age, experience and skill set. The greatest thing Christina told me I will always remember and employ. It was like a Jedi-mind trick in its effectiveness.

Alas, I didn’t go on to round two. A couple days later, I received a rather neutral e-mail from HR saying “thanks for playing.” As I said, the usual happened. Well, it won’t be the usual unless Apple follows the pattern I’ve witnessed since I hit the glass ceiling back in 2000 regardless of my hard work. Will I stick around? It depends on what the near future holds. This unfortunately is always uncertain while the only certain thing will be people asking for support by phone, e-mail or chat services. Computers have come a long way yet they continue to be complicated devices. Look at modern cars. Auto mechanics haven’t gone the way of the dinosaur.

Long ago on this date (2007 or 2008, I can’t remember exactly), I gave myself and Apple a year to improve for I was rather frustrated with my lot in the organization. It worked out eventually by the Spring of 2009 plus there was the great news around the end of 2008…I’m not evil. I probably need to do the same thing again. Really push myself since it’s me holding things back more often than I probably realize. Sometimes it can be hard when you generally enjoy what you’re doing on most days.

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