The QDRO was signed by a judge, the nightmare is over!

Posted on June 24, 2021 by Steve

Around lunchtime I received an e-mail from my lawyer’s office (yes, I still have to pay one) with the great news. We finally got a judge to sign off on my offer to Somara to get her completely out of my finances. Now all I have to do is wait for the $25,000 hit to my 401k that both political parties have guaranteed I won’t live long enough to use. The divorce has gone from 99.999% over to 100! I use those numbers because I have been free to see other women since November 2019 but any financial obligations are done. Should I choose to sell the house, I get to keep all the profit…not very much given the mortgage is only a year completed plus the new roof. This also includes any other monetary windfalls possibly coming my way, yeah, right.

This weekend though, we will meet to resolve the debacle involving the safety deposit box she got stuck paying for while I have both keys. I want to remove whatever is in there. My guess it’s just the deed to my timeshare, Somara refused it. I also get back two key things her sister accidentally packed, my autographed Crowded House poster and Mission Hill hand-painted cels. I don’t mind meeting Somara for what could be the last time in person, I have no idea what the future holds. I am still Uncle Steve to her nephews.

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LEGO® recycling!

Posted on June 24, 2021 by Steve

Great news! A while back LEGO made plans to start making their famous bricks from plants which is a mixed bag; its sugar cane and it only works with softer parts like tree branches, leaves, etc. No success in making the core pieces such as their trademarked 2×4 brick. Better than ethanol but it was a start.

This plan to repurpose used plastic (probably bottles mainly) is much, much better. The short version if you don’t want to click on the link; they can make on average 10 2×4 bricks from a one-liter bottle with the proper amount of clutch power to be LEGO. So in the US, we prefer the two-liter bottle so 20 standard bricks would be awesome.

I’m hoping those innovative Danes get cracking on this and deploy these recycled pieces ASAP. Then the next order of business, the West and China should give LEGO a contract or dibs on the disgusting plastic continent between California and Hawaii. Anything created from it should be a limited series like their exclusives for Friends or Big Bang Theory. Just don’t make it a recreation of what it used to be.

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RIP Frank Bonner

Posted on June 23, 2021 by Steve

I know Frank passed away last week but I finally worked in the time to give him his proper due instead of rushing it.

Like many in Gen X, I knew Frank mostly for his role as Herb Tarlek, the inept sales guy from WKRP in Cincinnati whose outrageous wardrobe would make Don Cherry blush. We can blame that SitCom for my initially poor choice of careers too. After the show was cancelled despite being loved by all the people struggling to survive as FM radio would be destroyed by Lee Abrams. Then he popped up as a money-grubbing priest in a SitCom called Just the Ten of Us. How I managed to see at least a couple episodes while I was in college is beyond me. It was also memorable because I remember Dr. Thorn (one of my Journalism professors) complaining in class about how it was a show propping up Catholic stereotypes, aka, large families. Personally, I think he was a generation behind. Where I grew up seeing the Baptists, Mormons and Hispanics as being the groups raising small armies or personal softball teams.

There was more to Frank though. He started out get one-shot parts in the early Seventies, rather typical for many actors. WKRP was his first cast member role. This made him more recognizable and in the decade of ugly appliances, he got guest shots on game shows, Fantasy Island, The Love Boat and made-for-TV movies. After WKRP‘s cancellation, he still had enough clout to carry on through Prime Time in bit roles in which you’d go, “Hey! Isn’t that Herb?”

He also got into directing thanks to WKRP. When he wasn’t being a cop, doctor, whatever, Frank helmed the actors on numerous SitComs you may have heard of: Family Ties, Who’s the Boss?, Head of the Class, Evening Shade and Saved by the Bell: The New Class.

Thanks for everything Frank! I apologize for typecasting you as Herb, but dammit, you played the bumbling, sleazy guy who was really a coward so well. Believe me, it was a great turn when your Herb chickened out when Jennifer (Lonnie Anderson) pushed him to put up or shut up. I also loved hearing from your wife on a game show that you stored Herb’s wardrobe at your house. You became an inspiration for dressing tacky and loud without being ironic.

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Holy Crap! I got my Tax Refund already!

Posted on June 22, 2021 by Steve

It’s amazing due to how quickly the government wants the money you owe them but they never seem to be in a hurry to pay you back. Ever since I got married, I stopped doing my taxes in a hurry since we often came out in the red. Why? I don’t know really. Then divorce managed to punch me in the throat one more time since that was a grand I wasn’t getting back and I made an error in 2018, another $3000 I received no help with despite filing jointly; the excuse I got was, she didn’t get her first $1200 stimulus, as if I could do anything about this!

Anyway, I really kept kicking it down the road as I’m tackling other jazz in my life. Thanks to the Winterpocalypse caused by GOP incompetence, Texans were given a one-time filing deadline of June 15. Yes, everything is BIGGER in Texas, including the procrastinating and delaying…see ERCOT and its stupid decision to be its own electrical grid.

This morning I got to see the humongous refund in my checking account. A whopping 261 smackers! Just in time to stimulate the economy for a second as it is destroyed by inflation. Nah. I used part of it to pay off the tax software since the douchenozzles at Intuit will eat another $40 if you want to use part of your refund to cover it. TurboTax is nowhere close to being worth $100, hell, the $600 it costs is questionable. The remainder goes back into my Rainy Day/Vegas fund.

Fingers crossed there isn’t another rude letter in late Summer.

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Austin is testing pizza-delivery ‘bots

Posted on June 21, 2021 by Steve

The robot mostly made the news because it would be using the bike lanes in downtown Austin which might stir up our vocal cyclist community. I think the robots resemble a miniature Zamboni®. I couldn’t find out who the robots are delivering for. It’s obviously not Domino’s, they’d have their logo all over the chassis. Maybe it’s a conglomeration of all the local spots testing this out. One big advantage this system has…it’s not large enough to kill a pedestrian unlike big jerk companies. If it bumps into you, maybe the robot is programmed to offer you a free slice as compensation?

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Made it to the Solstice 2021

Posted on June 20, 2021 by Steve

The Netherlands at midnight on the Summer Solstice

Jennifer isn’t a fan of the Sun since she prefers to hit the sack around the same time old people prefer to. It’s mostly due to her job as a nurse; she wakes around 3:30 AM and shows up by 4:30 AM. This isn’t all bad. Jennifer gets to punch out by 1 PM followed by a nap. Her situation reminds me of how morning-show DJs live, especially when they have to make personal appearances in the evening.

I told her, today her national nightmare is over. After this evening, the sun will go back to setting sooner and sooner every day. With Austin, sunset on this day tends to be 8:35 PM, much too later for Jennifer! Good thing we don’t live  in Alaska or Europe. On the latter, it’s hard to believe that the major population centers where many American ancestors originated from lived with such extremes in “lighting.” It makes me grateful to living closer to the Equator. As much as I would enjoy the Sun being out late, it would get countered by longer, dreary, dark days. I can’t handle the latter very well.

On to the Fall Equinox!

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Happy Juneteenth Day

Posted on June 19, 2021 by Steve

It’s nice to see what was often a Texas-based holiday finally become a National Holiday in the US. The more amazing thing was how many Republicans voted with the Democrats on this. Currently, they can’t even have a compromise on what to eat for lunch. The shitbags who voted against weren’t a shock.

Personally, I think the Republicans who did agree will use this as their ’22 smokescreen over how they’re making it nearly impossible for anyone who isn’t White, to vote.

Meanwhile, here’s a synopsis of the holiday…

On June 19, 1865; General Granger of the US Army with his forces landed in Galveston (the largest city in Texas until 1900, when a hurricane ended this designation). He then announced to all the people that the Civil War was over and how the Emancipation Proclamation of 1863 was now the law; therefore all the slaves were free.

Being a Yankee from Central IL, I was often puzzled. The war ended on April 9, 1865 with Lee’s surrender to Grant at Appomattox, didn’t Texas get the memo? Obviously not. I’m willing to give Texas the benefit of the doubt in being cut off by US forces being pretty successful at isolating the Lone Star State via the destruction of telegraph lines, train tracks and the Navy’s blockade after Farragut took New Orleans.

Today, Juneteenth is celebrated by all Texans. There are parades, barbecues, dancing, music and its special drink…strawberry soda. This probably came years later since carbonated beverages don’t start to appear until a generation later. Then again, one may never know because many great things aren’t always documented accurately for posterity.

My employer already decided to make it a work holiday this year regardless of the Federal Government. I’m just happy Congress got this done in time for POTUS to sign it into law for my friends who have Federal gigs to have a three-day weekend. I’m confident the rest of America will get on board next year. What’s not to like? It’s a step forward and any movement in this direction is good given how much farther we really need to be. To me, when we get to Star Trek, then we can take a deep breath and ponder how far we’ve come.

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Rest in Peace Scarface the Lion

Posted on June 18, 2021 by Steve

This lion dying of old age (14) is a big deal because it’s a rare event. If you didn’t read the article, the short version is that most males are only in charge of a pride for several years before they’re killed or exiled by younger, stronger dude lion. If they survive, they either are too injured or weak to fend of hyenas. Let’s also face the other problem, humans, namely tiny-dick people who need to prove their hot shit by killing one of these majestic creatures.

What’s more amazing is how Scarface travelled all the way back to the area where he was born to die.

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A demonstration of Jennifer’s Texan-ess or -any?

Posted on June 17, 2021 by Steve

This is a recent addition Jennifer picked up during her recent vacation to Padre but it’s a bummer she bought this in Mexico. You’d think a belt buckle as impressive as this could be found through Texas! Namely at the beloved Mega Truck/Gas Stop Bucee’s. It’s where I got my most recent, US-made belt for my jeans.

Jennifer hasn’t decided when or with what she’ll be wearing this accessory. My money is on our next trip to Coupland Dance Hall.

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Sneaky Mama Cat

Posted on June 16, 2021 by Steve

If you don’t have the patience watch the entire five-to-six minutes of this, you can fast forward to the part when the mama has an “all clear” and a “run and hide” meow. This cat and her offspring were pretty clever. Personally, I can’t tell the difference in her voice but her kittens are very smart. They’re also very patient in being squeezed into one really tight hiding space.

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My weight is under 260 for the first time in over year!

Posted on June 16, 2021 by Steve

Today required a double take with the scale but since I can’t get to the gym and scheduling bike time on a week day is a nuisance, I’ve had to cut back on eating; one of my favorite activities! Well, I’ve been doing it in small steps after I was 273 after New Year’s Day. I avoid seconds, I avoid having a large amount on my firsts and I have to resist finishing Jennifer’s meals. On the latter, she doesn’t eat much for reasons I will let her explain. How many of us envy her situation!

I fear that this progress will be short lived. The sudden “burst” to get into the upper 250s was caused more by the current stress in my life which I don’t feel like discussing beyond it’s disgusting.

I’ll keep plugging away. I want to be in the 250s at worst this year, 240s at best. Anything lower would be miraculous.

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A Goldbergian contraption making meh pizza

Posted on June 15, 2021 by Steve

Well, it lays out the sauce and toppings as poorly as a machine since we’ve all had those frozen pizzas that are lopsided with the pepperoni or mushrooms. Human pizza makers will always remain the best.

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RIP: Clarence Williams III & Ned Beatty

Posted on June 14, 2021 by Steve

These gentlemen were staples on both screens in the Seventies.

Clarence got his start in the Sixties with the groundbreaking cop show The Mod Squad on ABC. Three undercover officers who were young enough looking to infiltrate evil gangs of Hippies was my guess. I often saw in him bit parts. The two which come to mind are the undertaker in Tales from the Hood and the aging Black Panther who lost his followers in I’m Gonna’ Get You Sucka’.

Ned was a constant presence too. He did it all. Burt Reynolds flicks, sadly it was Deliverance most remember; the good news, they did the infamous scene in one take. The scary truth teller in Network, the easily cajoled Dean Martin in Back to School and his last big presence as the bitter teddy bear in Toy Story 3. My favorite part was his bumbling Otis, personal henchman to Gene Hackman’s Lex Luthor in the only good Superman flicks by Richard Donner; I prefer Donner’s cut of Superman II. Ned’s defense of Otisburg is burned into my memory, better than any foreign language.

Thanks guys for everything! Your performances were fantastic and convincing. You made the stories you were in the best.

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The actual reality was a better show

Posted on June 13, 2021 by Steve

As the legacy broadcast networks continue to sink into oblivion, they’ve all been pursuing cheap-ass programming to fill time. Fox’s favorite is moronic, celebrity game shows: the Masked Something with Bimbo Judges! NBC, not to be outdone by Murdoch’s vulgarity used some Japanese inventiveness to make something called Ultimate Slip n’ Slide. With just five days until the show wrapped up, there was an outbreak of giardia on the set and as the loop GIF illustrates, explosive diarrhea resulted.

Given how weak game shows often are, televising what happened on the set would be way more entertaining. With all the kids watching (practically voyeurism) through TikTok, I’d say this could be a hit through the new medium!

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Shooting on Sixth Street, obviously I’m OK

Posted on June 12, 2021 by Steve

We found out this morning since it was all over the local news via our devices. Hell, it made the front page of The Guardian. Thankfully nobody of the 13 victims have died and the suspected shooter remains at large. Of course this is yet another incident in which there was no good guy with a gun to save the day. Then again, it’s Texas, it could’ve been a wannabe good guy who decided to shoot what he believed were 13 Antifa suspects celebrating their recent victory of helping the Democrats flee out of the Capital a couple weeks ago.

As a resident of 27 years, this wasn’t a huge surprise. You mix the state’s moronic gun policy of “more guns!” with a stretch of bars patronized by mostly drunk, sexually frustrated young men (many are frat boys or other types)…you get this.

The rather infamous drinking neighborhood has been on the decline for years anyway. If you ever come to visit me in Austin, I’ll take you to the classier, cleaner Rainey Street.

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