Meet Bootsy, one recent stray ID’d

One of the cats my security camera caught “on tape,” decided to show her face when I left the house yesterday. I’ve dubbed her Bootsy due to her distinctive white hind legs. My neighbor Christina says Bootsy belongs to the house behind us and she has been spayed. I’m not thrilled about these people letting her wander around. There are many hazards which could harm or kill this kitty: cars, coyotes (they will wander into the ‘burbs if they’re hungry enough), the feral cats living in the storm drains and this being the South…mentally disturbed assholes who get their jollies torturing animals. Bootsy is on the fence with me. She approached me, sniffed me, rubbed her head on my hand (a good sign) yet went into hissing mode. I think she wants attention but has trust issues or the scent of all the cats I currently interact with gave her pause. This will be remedied via food, the one weakness all cats have.

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Cat-a-ccino

I worked part-time in a coffee shop for seven years and my foam-making skills were adequate: I could make enough for a customer who really wanted it. Sculpting it like this? Not a chance. However, giving how quickly foam dissolves (it’s similar to soap bubbles), I’m going to lean toward this being created with PhotoShop or another substance which will hold together longer. For example, milkshakes in commercials are made of mashed potatoes or shortening since ice cream can’t hold up to the hot, bright lights for the camera. If I’m wrong, then the artist must’ve had access to foam from multiple sources to whip this up. Either way, this is pretty cool and cute.

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But only if Texas is in play…which it is not

I still think Banking Biden alongside Harris is a terrible ticket given how poorly they did in the primaries and debates. Plus they represent the Establishment’s status quo so I know if they’re elected, come November 4, 2020; it’s back to all the shitty policies of Clinton-Obama: fracking, for-profit healthcare, never-ending wars, Wall Street will continue to rape the economy and letting the GOP run the legislative agenda because Pelosi (who will break her promise to step down) and Schumer will get rolled over despite a majority.

However, remember, I live in Texas which will drive off a cliff for the GOP regardless of the candidate. The angry, less educated Whitey vote may be the minority but they have all their dirty, Neo-Confederate tricks to stay in power for a while longer. Ergo, my vote doesn’t count and I will vote for who I would prefer over your GOP Lite preference. Until the Electoral College (Hamilton’s club on the steering wheel of Democracy) is abolished, the Biden Borgs can kiss my ass. I predict that Biden will just be four years of 90% Trump policies with manners.

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Today’s Mood (September 2020)

My interpretation of this picture is this. The “balloons” are keeping me going but I dare not let go since there’s a giant canyon ready to swallow me up.

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Dallas Stars heading to the Stanley Cup

Just my luck, the year the Dallas-based Stars, parent team to my Stars (my loyalty in the NHL remains with the Flyers) defeated the Las Vegas Knights. I think this is their first Cup run since 2000. I wish I could be 100-percent thrilled yet I just can’t. Why? I doubt many have been following the NHL playoffs as closely as the NBA playoffs but all the games have been taking place in Toronto for the Eastern Conference and Edmonton for the Western. Then the Stanley Cup Championship will be played entirely in Edmonton, once we know if it’s the Islanders or Lightning. So my one chance to actually attend a Stanley Cup game is nil and given how poorly the US is handling CV-19, I wouldn’t be surprised that the NHL’s next season may have to repeat the arrangement, possibly with two different Canadian cities; I vote Vancouver and Montreal. Let’s say everything shakes out with a delayed start. I remain doubtful because two-peats are uncommon in the NHL. However, I will be cheering for the Stars due to all those former Austin players who got tapped to help out Jamie Benn and Tyler Seguin. I’m also not fond of the Islanders nor Lightning. I will cheer for a Lightning victory so I can have a friendly wager with my cousin Dana.

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Creative vandalism for Walgreens

What an inventive way to entertain us all since Walgreens and CVS are frequent destinations in these trying times.

Quick aside. All through high school, I always thought “Take Me To The River” was a Talking Heads original because that was the only version I ever heard. Initially, it sounds funny and a tad pathetic but as an adult, I would throw in the adjective impressive. To this day the Talking Heads definitely put enough of their own sound into the cover, it could pass for an original tune despite the lyrics being rather spiritual. Besides…everybody has made an error in who did something originally.

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Crappy 2020 summed up, September 2020 addendum

Who in their right mind devised this? Yogurt lacks the viscosity to be a soda! Sure there’s Gogurt which I doubt exists or sells well anymore. However, this? Eww! What’s more puzzling is the flavor. Mint? It must be something for people who live in yogurt-heavier cultures because mint is only used for candy.

If anyone can explain the rationale of yogurt soda, please drop me a line.

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Ultimate Star Wars trivia test for DragonCon

Last week DragonCon was held last week and like anything that could be salvaged this year, it was virtual (blech!). Besides the mixed news like the latest Dune trailer (good) or the cancellation of The Venture Brothers (crappy), there was a Star Wars trivia championship. To enter the big contest, you had to take this quiz. The minimal qualifying score to proceed was 23/50 and don’t go thinking, phew! It’s just about a dozen movies. Nope. The questions encompass everything: the Marvel comics, the novels Disney said are canon and all TV shows…yet, I think the Lifeday Holiday Special is excluded. I only got a mere 19 but I have a friend/co-worker that nailed 24 and I know he’s a bigger diehard than I will ever be.

Give it a shot. Thanks to the Pandemic, what else have you got to do?

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AHL Teams have been busy during the Pandemic

Since the minor leagues don’t have that much money on the line, they didn’t bother to finish out their seasons. Kind of sucked! I think my Stars would’ve pulled through in the clutch to be playoff contenders for their fourth run at the Calder Cup in 11 years. Wasn’t meant to be. I have mixed feelings about the NHL/NBA solutions. I feel the champions will have asterisks by their titles like the 1995 New Jersey Devils’ Stanley Cup. My friend Jeremy says, no, they all had equal chances. I disagree. Injuries, Flow and Momentum over 80-82 games determine who really is the champ on top of those additional playoff matches.

Anyway, out of the blue, several affiliations have shifted to answer my questions regarding where would the Chicago Wolves go now that the Las Vegas Knights bought the San Antonio Rampage. Jeremy was on top of this as he alerted me to the three team shuffle.

  • Chicago Wolves signed with the Carolina Hurricanes.
  • Charlotte Checkers signed with the Florida Panthers.
  • Springfield Thunderbirds will likely sign with the St. Louis Blues (nothing announced on either teams’ sites yet).

Charlotte and Carolina parting ways is weird given how close together they are. Someday I hope Houston will return in some capacity. I miss the Aeros and their cheerleaders who wore these really cool go go boots.

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Vegas

The fourth installment (of seven) of Jennifer’s cats. We’re hoping it will stay at this number, or lower should anyone pass away in the interim because we’re now fostering an unwanted mama cat and her litter of five adorable kittens.

This is Vegas! He is a brown tabby, mostly muscle, approachable and super affectionate. He’s one of those cats who will nibble or paw you if he feels you haven’t given him enough petting or attention; no worries, it doesn’t hurt. Vegas has a downside though. He used to be the Alpha cat until he was dethroned by Totoro (he’s coming up). Poor guy is so emasculated that he spends most of his days hiding under the bed or in a bathroom cabinet. What has always puzzled me with domestic animals…how can one be an Alpha if there’s a wuss with a size advantage? Maybe the animal kingdom has some invisible element similar to humans. For example, how can some elderly guy be a Mob boss when all his underlings are younger and stronger? Sure the boss has bodyguards, but again, why aren’t the bodyguards taking over?

I digress about Vegas. He’s a great cat despite his sporadic appearances. There’s much about him which remind me of Molly. They’re the same type (brown tabby) and when they’re really happy, they drool.

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RIP Diana Rigg

Diana was one of my first boyhood crushes thanks to The Avengers reruns on CBS late night (long before they tried to compete with Johnny Carson). It was exciting and bewildering at the same time to see a lady kicking ass alongside Steed. Uma Thurman couldn’t fill those catsuits half as well with her fake accent sadly.

Besides being a femme fatale, I remember her as the wealthy target Charles Grodin tried to fleece in The Great Muppet Caper. Then I think in the Nineties she was the host of Masterpiece Theater on PBS.

Let’s also not forget she played the only woman sexy and strong enough to get James Bond to marry!

Farewell Diana! Thank you for everything and being a pioneer in showing that women were quite capable in a tight spot. You paved the way for Uma in Kill Bill, every deus ex machina solution Josh Whedon uses and Scarlett Johansson’s Black Widow.

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Austin casualties update: Cap City Comedy Club

Alongside I Love Video, another Eighties Institution and Survivor closed its doors for good. Originally Cap City was a Laff Stop franchise during the Eighties’ Comedy Boom, when places as tiny as Springfield, IL had a club! When the Comedy Bust came, I think in the early Nineties, Austin survived and in 1996 the name was changed alongside new ownership. From those days on, Cap City did much better as national acts were booked, the new talent was cultivated (the owners helped rookies get to the bigger festivals in Montreal and San Francisco) and the venue was key to the Moontower Fest; this was also canceled but will be back in 2021 (hopefully) as three weekends. Austin also received some fame through the place: Matha Kelly, Chris Cubas and Daniel Webb started here; Patton Oswalt’s album Werewolves and Lollipops was recorded here; and Matt Bearden’s Netflix special was taped here several years ago (it paid for the stage’s makeover). Other comedians often joke about how our club was part of a strip mall when they were guests on Marc Maron’s show; hey, maybe I can learn karate between sets!

For me, the list is very long of who I’ve seen since I started going around 2000. You can see them all via my Brushes with Greatness section. I’m a tad behind updating it since Jackie Kashian deserves her due, she’s great and originates from Milwaukee! The staff was always good to me. For a place with a two-item minimum, they had excellent cheeseburgers and they weren’t stingy on soda refills.

Given Austin’s size and the growth, all is not lost forever. When it comes to stand-up comedy, this is just a painful setback. We’re the 11th largest American city. We remain loved by creative types despite the Dallasification/Californication happening; I think Austin is like LA or Chicago with less bullshit. Moontower is likely to continue. Not every comedian wants to play the Paramount, State Theater or Bass Hall, they lack intimacy and I’ve seen how many stand-ups are energized by the audience. Plus SXSW has a comedy element and I’ve gotten hooked on J T Habersaat’s Altercation Fest after seeing Eddie Pepitone headline last year.

Cap City. Thank you. You brought in so many people who made me laugh until it hurt. Something TV and film doesn’t do very often. You introduced me to Austin’s local talent and I hope they keep on reaching for the stars. I know you will rise from the ashes. You may have another name. You may have another location. But you can count on me to be there whenever my faves or others I’m curious out come to your venue.

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The Burger Wars’ first casualty…Fuddruckers

Since they’re owned by the same people who threw in the towel on Luby’s and this chain has fewer than 200 restaurants, we shouldn’t be shocked to see Fuddrucker’s (or it’s future names in Idiocracy) go down. Before the 2020 Pandemic, other chains have been popping up like weeds to clog our already congested arteries. Personally, I hope In n Out is next, their crap is so overrated like most “California Cuisine” and anything boosted by a lame-ass Coen Brothers’ movie; take your pick yet you who know me, you know which flick of theirs I hate the most.

Losing Fuddruckers is a mixed matter. I don’t recall ever having a bad meal there but it wasn’t often a first choice when going out to dinner. Most days, a burger is something you eat when you’re pressed for time and/or you’re traveling. They did have good fries, a weakness for about half of the competition, and the staff did a great job keeping all the condiments/toppings in stock. The atmosphere wasn’t an attraction, especially when somebody brought in a small legion of bored children.

Farewell Fuddruckers and your name which made numerous ‘Tweeners snicker.

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Beloved institutional cafeteria chain Luby’s is done

Here’s another place whose demise I’m sure will be blamed on Millenials…Luby’s! For those of you who don’t live in Texas, it’s the equivalent MCL or Old Country Buffet. As you can guess, the food was made for the elderly’s pallet, aka too salty. To be fair, I don’t really recall having a bad meal there and I am biased to say favorable things about a place that offers all kinds of pie.

However, let’s face it, America’s tastes are changing alongside the demographics. The Pandemic just sped up what was inevitable. On the other hand, how are Golden Corral and Ci Ci’s Pizza surviving? I’m now wondering if Las Vegas casinos will be ditching their buffets? Only the two super great ones at Caesar’s Palace and the Bellagio are worth eating at, the rest serve pretty standard fare.

Farewell Luby’s. Thanks to your dining special, the Luanne Platter, you gave Mike Judge a great inside joke for King of the Hill.

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The Venture Brothers is cancelled, 2020 keeps on suckin’

Jackson Publick & Doc Hammer made it official at Dragon Con, the most innovative show Adult Swim had to offer is now over, loose ends and all. It was the bright spot of what for a long time was just a parade of other networks’ cancelled shows and anything Cartoon Network could make on the cheap.

All is not lost though. With the arrival of HBO Max, there’s a chance the show may live on through AT&T’s desperate attempt to unseat Netflix.

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