The side that came with the main course

So my friend Jeremy ordered fast food recently in the Netherlands. Nevermind the sandwich/burger/hot dog thing he ordered, he said it was a letdown; instead of fries, potato chips or a full serving of onion rings, he got this. Spring rolls? Now America has its flaws and sure, we impose our culture upon others but I think we got sides down to an art. This restaurant needs to send its owner to Austin…when the CV-19 jazz dies down to safe levels of course…be an intern at a Sonic for a couple weeks, then return and give Jeremy a do-over. I’m not even gonna’ discuss what the red gunk in the container is. Based upon what I can see, it’s probably their funky ketchup/catsup or worse, cocktail sauce which is for fried shrimp. What should I expect from a continent of people who iron their jeans.

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NBA & NHL plans will always have an asterisk next to 2020

The NBA owners approved their plan to have a big tournament in Orlando and I can’t remember if the NHL was going to do theirs. Let’s face it though, there’s never going to be a solution to please everybody because these two leagues got interrupted in their last halves. With hockey, the end of March usually shores up which 16 are going to the playoffs and when the other 15 schedule tee times. Basketball I think has it figured out by mid-April…it’s been a while since I cared about the Spurs or Bucks.

It’s ridiculous how much money conquered sense and the leagues are being tone deaf to the public not really giving a shit. Sure we’re bored but most people just want to get the curve flattened so they can go back outside, hit the pool, concerts, etc. Many are heroically participating in protests against police brutality, I can get behind that and I need to shake loose some money to cover other people’s bail, namely in Milwaukee, I know from multiple encounters, those pigs suck. Maybe the leagues must push forward, declare champions because the insurance policies don’t cover pandemics like how your home owner’s policy says you’re screwed over nuclear fallout. The owners have the pay the coaches, the athletes, the trainers and some support people. Meanwhile, the secondary people (ushers, ticket sellers, vendors, etc) get buckwheats.

I think I will let my PS4 decide who raises the Stanley Cup.

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First full-day of work with painful elbow

It went pretty well. Still hurt like the dickens whenever I stretched or did any activity involving my left arm straightening out. The key thing I needed which I put into the success category was typing! Ergo, my fingers and hands are A-OK! What made it even better? My new 27″ ViewSonic LED-backed display arrived. So many things go smoothly when you have 27″ of workspace over ~14″. It dovetails over to my personal crap too, namely GarageBand which really craves the virtual real estate to finish my old mix tapes. I think this puppy will also bring me home on time more often. Quicken stuff is easier to juggle with two displays.

Meanwhile, I got a confirmed appointment with Austin Regional Clinic this upcoming Monday to make sure my elbow is healing correctly. I would’ve preferred the clinic at my job but they’re only doing remote stuff. I need an expert to feel the wounded area and make my tear up as they bend the elbow and go, “Does this hurt much?” Then I know I’ve earned any possible painkillers from Walgreen’s.

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Space X must’ve docked

The news has been riddled with more riots over the unnecessary murder of George Floyd and since American Media goes with if it bleeds, it leads…everything went according to plan with Space X docking at ISS. At least one funny thing was brought up over the two astronauts, Kate Mulgrew brought up their names: Bob & Dog. Take off you hoser! Indeed.

Next up, let’s see how well this private rocket and/or capsule lands when it’s time to come back to Earth.

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Good Boys

Hollywood dips into the Superbad/Booksmart well one more time with Tweeners and the results are predictable. All the best jokes were wasted in the trailer. Did I mention these are the morons who gave us the unfunny Sausage Party? Well, I warned you.

As I mentioned earlier we have three Tweeners dealing with the transition to middle school or junior high or however it works for Pubbies (what we Parochials call the public-school kids). This trio of Max, Lucas and Thor have been best friends since Kindergarten and two weeks in, sixth grade is straining their bond. Max likes a girl, Lucas’ parents are divorcing and Thor is trying to avoid a lifetime, derogatory nickname.

Their unremarkable journey is initiated by a cool kid inviting them to a party in which there will be kissing; allegedly, today’s Tweeners still play Spin-the-Bottle…according to the writers. I for one have no idea, I’m amazed some even pull their faces away from their phones long enough to avoid starvation. These pre-party jitters lead them to skipping school, going to a mall, stealing some teenagers’ drugs, blah blah blah. Then comes the predictable tropes. Lucas is a stickler for rules which makes him the square-ass. Thor thinks he’s cool but he isn’t, especially for having a great singing voice and really wanting to audition for the Fall musical, the equally uninteresting School of Rock. Max is now at the girl-crazy age and this makes him the de facto leader driving their quest.

So if you’ve sat through Superbad (not funny) or Booksmart (actually clever, not all its jokes were spent in the trailer)…you don’t need to watch Good Boys. You saw it unless you have to see the same crap play out with three instead of two kids and Will Forte is still there again as the over-understanding Dad with poor boundaries.

Did anything funny happen? Honestly? The cheap shots taken with Thor’s parents’ sex toys were about it. Otherwise, there are much, much better movies to see to on HBO Max to get through the Pandemic with.

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The month’s header

Twenty-five years ago, my first great Summer in Austin got rolling. The year before sucked for my new home and as for the other years, I would say I hadn’t had a really decent Summer since 1991. To be fair to 1992-1994, there were moments but their overall vibes put them in the crappy column: GDW Hell, Boredom Hell and Austin-may-be-an-error Hell. This time matters were off to a great start (my brother’s wedding, seeing Chicago friends), I had adequate employment and thanks to employment, I could actually enjoy Austin and its surroundings. Here in early June I had my friend Doc take my picture this city limit sign as a nod to the show. What’d I give for that sign to be correct today, starting with all the Republicans and Libertarians being forced out first. The wiser thing to ask for is getting back to the weight I must’ve been then for I am much wider today.

Despite the pandemic, I’m not going to let it be the reason why 2020 blows, yet it’s good to have it at the ready if my own actions ruin the fun.

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June/Summer off to a great start

I’ve been out of commission for several days thanks to tennis. Now I’m confident a bunch of you will go with the cliché, oh you got tennis elbow. How I wish! I did injure my elbow but it was from tripping over a bench, then tumbling over and landing the incorrect way on my left elbow, which sucked. It hurt like a mother!

The damned elbow continued to throb so much for next couple days as the pain ruined my plans for Sunday (chores) and Monday, starting a new perfect streak on my Watch via the bike. I’m 99% sure nothing is broken, it’s one helluva’ bruise I’m feeling. Today I’m posting the event because it’s the first time I can actually type without my fingers sending burning pain up my forearm into the elbow and sometimes shoulder.

Will I give up tennis though? No. I just need to get better painkillers and catch up on all the affection my cats have been deprived of instead.

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Space X was successful, part one

The rocket is on its way to put the two astronauts into orbit, this only takes less than 20 minutes. Now will come the tense 19 hours for the capsule to sync up with the ISS and succeed at docking. Still hoping Ego Musk’s expensive toys work according to plan, accidents make the public skittish.

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A LEGO execution

This execution method is only possible if the minifigure hasn’t been modified by the  infamous kragl!

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Picard: one season

It took JJ Abrams’ cabal of mediocrity to get Patrick Stewart to play one Jean-Luc Picard again. They surprisingly pulled it off too by utilizing the power of streaming as per Discovery: more violence and swearing than allowed on the broadcast networks. What was really refreshing to see was that not everything within the Federation is sunny and rosy, especially when it’s made clear why Picard is a retired Starfleet admiral.

The whole premise goes like so. The year is 2399 and about a decade earlier, the Romulan homeworld was destroyed by its sun going nova. This was the crux of the horrible, alternate timeline universe for the three shitty movies starring Chris Pine. Admiral Picard led the effort to evacuate as many Romulans as possible and get them resettled on new worlds. Obviously there was resistance because these aliens have been enemies of the Federation long before the founding and they were unreliable allies in the Dominion War. In the end it didn’t matter, a huge malfunction involving Artificial Intelligence happened on Mars scrapping the effort and banning all further attempts at researching or creating artificial beings like Data.

Now Picard is returning to action due to a recurring nightmare involving Mars and Commander Data. Somehow the Romulans are also involved. What follows? You have to watch and if you’re into Star Trek like me, you already did unless paying for CBS Online is a barrier.

Picard exceeded my expectations. I was already a fan of Patrick Stewart. The man is funny, engaging and will be missed a million times more than William Shatner. One factor in making the show better than Discovery‘s first, rough season (I will get to it) was the involvement of a real author helping with the plot, Michael Chabon. I haven’t read any of his work but I know he’s respected. It’s about time the Star Trek showrunners recruited people who know how to tell an effective story instead of falling back on what Hollywood knows best: cop procedurals/murder mysteries, soap operas and bland sitcoms. What I loved were all the cameos. Not just beloved characters (Seven of Nine, Riker, Troi, Hugh, etc.), it were the details which make Star Trek…Star Trek: seeing Vulcans, Trils, Borg, Andorians, so on. Plus they show how the non-Terran races have diversity in their appearance too: a Black Tril, an Asian Vulcan, etc. I hadn’t nerded out this much since Rogue One‘s Battle of Scarif when Red and Gold Leader made appearances! There’s finally an explanation regarding why some Vulcans/Romulans have those annoying foreheads Next Generation implemented. I’m incredibly thrilled the Romulans have finally stopped forcing everybody into having the Pete Rose/Moe Howard haircut too.

Can’t wait for the next season in 2021.

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An important message from LEGO® Star Wars

Luke Skywalker and Artoo came in from a Galaxy Far, Far Away to remind you that during this time of crisis, social distancing is vital to defeating the virus.

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The Ultimate Cartoon Shirt!

Check it out! A shirt featuring practically every new show Nickelodeon and Cartoon Network produced in the Nineties and Aughts! The only missing shows I can immediately call out are My Gym Partner’s a MonkeyAll Grown Up, Evil con Carne and Catscratch. Sad I know that. What’s even scarier? I could name all the shows and/or characters but one. I had to use Google to find the answer and I also needed to confirm one to make sure.

I’m not going challenge anyone to name everybody because it’s too easy to cheat with the help of the Internet. However, if you want the answer key, ask me. I know it by heart.

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Space X launch delayed

With minutes to go, Florida’s infamous weather scrubbed the launch of America’s first attempt to put people into space in a decade. The Libertarian hard-on will have to wait as they celebrate the privatization of space travel. Even if Ego Musk’s rocket succeeded, the Randroids are being hasty. NASA remains in charge of anything beyond low-earth orbital missions. Ergo, the government runs the missions to return to the Moon and Mars.

I don’t have a problem with NASA handing over the routine stuff. Private companies launching satellites has been happening for years. My beef is over safety. NASA has had their failures (two shuttles, the Apollo fire) but Corporations will have more casualties since they play faster and looser with probability. Remember, Ego and Jeff Bozo are hellbent on making a profit FIRST. Also, don’t expect them wanting the contracts to operate probes to the outer solar system. There’s no way to monetize knowing more about Jupiter in their petty minds.

I won’t end on a bitter note. I’m excited about America no longer needing the Russians to hitch rides to the ISS. If Space X has found ways to make launches cheaper and more frequent, something the space shuttle never delivered on (when I was a tweener in 1981, NASA hoped to have a shuttle launch about every 7-10 days).

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HBO Max starts today

A new opponent enters the Streaming Wars and I have to admit HBO Max is a heavy hitter. It costs almost three times as much as Disney+ (solo) but WarnerMedia is a deeper catalog in range, quality and let’s face it, HBO alone makes more new stuff than Disney. The New York Times went with the lazy headline of HBO Max trying to knock out Netflix. What if HBO Max is just trying be up there with Netflix? When broadcast TV got rolling in after WWII, I highly doubt ABC had any plans to knock NBC or CBS out. The people behind ABC knew they were often going to be in third place but I bet they said, we’re always going to be around as an alternative…since NBC and CBS were staid, conservative entertainment operations.

Meanwhile, I have queued up Aqua Teen Hunger Force to bingewatch!

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Another timeshare doohickey to sit through

Normally when I get those pesky phone calls regarding an “owner’s meeting,” I tend to ignore them unless there’s a free meal and then quickly say no thanks to whatever they’re promoting. It turned out to be an hour well spent to get the free three-night vacation thingy I hope to give my friend who really needs a vacation. Allegedly there was some kind of class-action settlement I wasn’t aware of but it didn’t really apply to my stuff. I generally like to keep my situation very simple…I have a place in Las Vegas that allows me to crash there for a week every year.

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