{"id":13102,"date":"2013-08-30T19:44:58","date_gmt":"2013-08-31T00:44:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/smaggi.us-east-1.derr.space\/?p=13102"},"modified":"2013-09-03T13:34:52","modified_gmt":"2013-09-03T18:34:52","slug":"anushka-for-the-21st-century","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/maggipicayune.derr.io\/wp\/2013\/08\/30\/anushka-for-the-21st-century\/","title":{"rendered":"Anushka for the 21st Century!"},"content":{"rendered":"<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/maggipicayune.net\/\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/08\/anushka2013.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-13103\" alt=\"anushka2013\" src=\"https:\/\/maggipicayune.net\/\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/08\/anushka2013.jpg\" width=\"400\" height=\"285\" srcset=\"https:\/\/maggipicayune.derr.io\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/08\/anushka2013.jpg 400w, https:\/\/maggipicayune.derr.io\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/08\/anushka2013-300x213.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\" \/><\/a><span style=\"color: #000000;\">While\u00a0<em>The Onion<\/em> celebrated its 25th birthday yesterday, this brought up memories of a hilarious infomercial my ex-roommate and I watched a couple times on late-night TV; yeah, we should&#8217;ve been sleeping or studying.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\">This fraudulent product was called <strong><span style=\"color: #008000;\"><a href=\"http:\/\/anushkaspa.com\/cellulite-clinic\/cellulite-modalities-wraps2.php\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"color: #008000;\">anushka<\/span><\/a><\/span><\/strong>. Allegedly it reduced\u00a0cellulite on women&#8217;s legs by wrapping wet bandages over the affected area. News flash. Your body shrivels up a tad when soaked in water: Pruney fingers\u00a0and\u00a0<\/span><span style=\"color: #008000;\"><strong><a href=\"www.youtube.com\/watch?v=8DoARSlv-HU\" target=\"_blank\"><span style=\"color: #008000;\"><em>shrinkage<\/em><\/span><\/a><\/strong><\/span><span style=\"color: #000000;\">.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\">However, the production quality was terrible, the acting cheesy and the science awful. The 800 number shown on the screen meant they were asking for trouble.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\">I recall making the first call. Mine was lame. I think I asked if I could get the number of the cute woman swallowing the seaweed pills.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Paul was a comic genius with his turn. He asked if it would work on his beer gut. Even the operator was giggling.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Well played Paul. Well played. Maybe Paul can send a well-written inquiry to prank the Austin-based number here through a text\u00a0message.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: justify;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\">I did alright today. His oldest son TJ complained about the Geometry teacher (on FaceBook of course). Said the instructor was the worst ever. I asked if the teacher is really the worst ever or was he just obtuse? One day the kid will laugh. I&#8217;m probably getting a virtual stinkeye.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>While\u00a0The Onion celebrated its 25th birthday yesterday, this brought up memories of a hilarious infomercial my ex-roommate and I watched a couple times on late-night TV; yeah, we should&#8217;ve been sleeping or studying. This fraudulent product was called anushka. Allegedly &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/maggipicayune.derr.io\/wp\/2013\/08\/30\/anushka-for-the-21st-century\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[21],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-13102","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-pictures"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/maggipicayune.derr.io\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13102","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/maggipicayune.derr.io\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/maggipicayune.derr.io\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/maggipicayune.derr.io\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/6"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/maggipicayune.derr.io\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=13102"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/maggipicayune.derr.io\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13102\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":13134,"href":"https:\/\/maggipicayune.derr.io\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13102\/revisions\/13134"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/maggipicayune.derr.io\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=13102"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/maggipicayune.derr.io\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=13102"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/maggipicayune.derr.io\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=13102"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}