![\"stbeyond\"](\"https:\/\/maggipicayune.net\/\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/08\/stbeyond.jpg\")
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I lifted my boycott on the “new”\u00a0Star Trek<\/em> after a good friend top me I didn’t need to see the previous turd\u2026Star Trek Into Explosions<\/em> to understand\u00a0Beyond<\/em>. This shouldn’t be a surprise, the franchise has gone with shallowness and characters that no one really gives a crap about. However, I wanted to show my support for Simon Pegg being the co-writer. I think all his contributions were paved over by director Justin Lin whose past work is primarily those awful\u00a0Fast and Furious<\/em> flicks. Thus, it was one of his movies with space stuff on it.<\/span><\/p>\n Beyond\u00a0<\/em>proves that\u00a0Star Trek<\/em> works best as a TV show with episodic adventures and not a movie franchise like\u00a0Star Wars<\/em>. Pine remains blah as Captain Kirk, Quinto’s Spock and Urban’s McCoy\u00a0continue to be great yet their screen time is cut back as the story is divided into four sets of characters trying to solve the ho hum crisis.<\/span><\/p>\n The crisis? The\u00a0Enterprise\u00a0<\/em>has to go check out some unknown nebula which is oddly full of asteroids to investigate what’s beyond the stellar landmark. As the trailers show and I’m not spoiling anything, the ship is destroyed in the process and the crew scattered as the escape pods land on the\u00a0habitable world below. I guess they went this way because the famous starship was also destroyed in\u00a0Star Trek III<\/em>. Since Lin’s background is car-chase movies, the solution entails punching, motorcycle stunts and overused Beastie Boys “music.” I thought JJ Abrams’ vision of the 23rd Century was already awful due to the crew drinking Budweiser, Lin makes it even worse. Seeing Chinese investors (Alibaba) being one of a few production companies also shows how far Paramount has sunk.<\/span><\/p>\n Alamo Extras:\u00a0<\/strong>Some guys playing an online\u00a0Star Trek\u00a0<\/em>game; people thinking their shower is a transporter (an ad for the French subway); ads plugging the communicator pin, the show’s encyclopedia and an overpriced pen; commercial selling the original Mego dolls; clips from the\u00a0ST:NG\u00a0<\/em>VCR game; painfully awful fan films; clip from\u00a0Muppet Babies<\/em>; clip from the\u00a0Star Trek\u00a0<\/em>cartoon; James Doohan plugging collector plates; Shatner doing a commercial for a grocery store; Nimoy shilling for a beeper company; ad for the Mego\u00a0Star Trek\u00a0<\/em>communicator station; the awful “Star Trekkin” song; commercial for\u00a0ST:NG\u00a0<\/em>action figures; Patrick Stewart promoting his one-man\u00a0A Christmas Carol<\/em> stage performance; George Takei promoting Milwaukee’s bus system; Pizza Hut ad with Klingons dining there;\u00a0Hick Trek<\/em>; Mego ad for the superphaser\u00a0game.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I lifted my boycott on the “new”\u00a0Star Trek after a good friend top me I didn’t need to see the previous turd\u2026Star Trek Into Explosions to understand\u00a0Beyond. This shouldn’t be a surprise, the franchise has gone with shallowness and characters … Continue reading