It was for a good cause

Before

Before

Over a month ago, my co-worker Eric took up a bet with our manager Juan. If we could collect $1000 for PKD (a charity  for people suffering from kidney failures), Juan would shave off his hair and beard; $500 a feature. This was somewhat of a big deal because he’s only shaved off his beard twice in his entire life.

We succeeded and today Juan had to face the music as the pictures show. The lady who shaved his hair and beard off had a little fun with it. He had a bit of a Mr. T. look, then a mohawk followed by a Charlie Chaplin moustache. Now will come the hard part, trying to talk to Juan with a straight face for a couple weeks.

After now Im starting to itch

After, now I'm starting to itch.

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Keith Primeau retires

primeau

It was inevitable for Keith. The ongoing concussion injury was constantly bothering him and he could never get medical clearance. Better for him to retire now at 34 instead of forcing/faking a recovery only to get hit again with a horrible result. Maybe the Flyers will have a new gig for him coaching because the leadership gap left in his wake was very telling last season.

Originally, I was not a big fan of the guy for a very stupid reason. He wasn’t very impressive in EA’s NHL 2001 on my PS2. Primeau didn’t have much of a chance in that version of the game neither. When one has Eric Lindros, John LeClair and Mark Recchi on the Flyers, what more offensive punch did you need? He also got sent to the penalty box easily when I used him to get physical on opposing players. Then my growing interest in hockey led to me paying for the Center Ice package which resulted in me learning about the players better. Primeau was a tough guy, not a graceful skater (he is 6′ 5″ without skates) hence his nickname “Bambi” during his tenure with Detroit. Philly was the twilight of his career as Coach Ken Hitchcock shifted him from scoring center to defensive center on the third line. Most players bristle at the change but Primeau embraced it and he was quite good at it, another factor leading to the Flyers’ first-round exit last season.

The story about his nickname came from my friend Brian, a huge Detroit Red Wings fan and Primeau hater. When he was drafted as a first-round pick by the Red Wings in 1990, Primeau had a big ego and demanded to be on the scoring lines despite how much his legs bowed while he tried to skate quickly. Again, the nicknames Bambi and Primeau-donna were given to him for this. Eventually he was traded to the Hartford Whalers in a deal that entailed Brendan Shanahan. Brian feels Detroit definitely received the better end of the bargain. Recently, Brian had a reconciliation with Primeau when he saw how much the guy had matured and proved himself as the best Captain the Flyers have had in years.

Most Flyers fans will remember him for his real leadership after the Lindros debacle; his fantastic play in the 2004 Playoffs (he definitely forced Tampa to seven games in the Eastern Championship) which included a hat trick against New Jersey; his game-winning-goal in 2000 against Pittsburgh at 12:01 during the fifth overtime period (the longest game in modern NHL history); and him being brought to Philly in exchange for Rod Brind’amour because Brind’amour had some kind of altercation with Eric Lindros.

My personal favorite moment of Primeau was with Roenick. They had both been selected for the 2004 All-Star Game that season. For Roenick, it was expected, he’s JR! For Primeau, it was a thrill since it was only his second appearance. In a game before the All-Star Break, the Flyers were winning against some lousy team. With a minute to go, the opposing team pulled its goalie, took the man advantage but the puck got turned over. JR had it and tore off for the empty net but nstead of taking the easy goal, he dropped off the puck to Primeau to let him have the goal to the raves of the crowd. A classy play to the end.

Thus ends a pretty decent career for the 13th Captain of the Flyers. Now the next era of the Flyers truly begins.

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RIP Ann Richards

I heard the news last night while my friend Jeremy was checking the outcome of the Express-Sidewinders game. I know I promised no politics on this site but I violated that rule a couple times (recent cheap shot with Idiocracy), one more won’t hurt if it’s for the last Democrat governor of Texas.

Richards was up for re-election when I moved to Austin in 1994 and I managed to see her in person once at UT. Some rally where Bonnie Raitt dropped by to lend her support against Bush for governor. I also remember how complacent sounding the people in the Austin area were about her chances, “Oh she’ll win because she’s the incumbent and this Bush is a moron.” Most of those same naysayers forgot to vote too when I took them to task. Did I vote for her? Hell yeah! I held my nose a bit because her environmental record wasn’t very good. Richards’ strength was civil rights for women and minorities as well as her razor wit (a touch of Adlai Stevenson for the South). Didn’t do any good though. Pundits claimed she lost because of her “negative campaign” (Karl Rove’s doing) or she lost support for not backing the concealed-firearms law. No, the forces behind the Restoration wanted revenge for the 1990 election and this would become the stepping stone for the chimp who became the worst president in history since Warren G. Harding (personally, I would go with William McKinley).

Back to the positive. Richards moved on to other endeavors; some good, some bad, especially lobbying. It was still a treat to see her on television shows like Politically Incorrect and the infamous Doritos commercial she did with Mario Cuomo, bittersweet as it was. I also remember an important lesson from her on 60 Minutes, never make threats you can’t follow through on. Course it didn’t sink in until after my time with GDW. She will be missed around here because her uppity nature fit right in with Austin.

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Gagne & Flyers reach a deal, now on to a first-round elimination!

My team has finally come to an agreement with its current goal-scoring star Simon Gagne; gotta’ say in with a Frawnch accent, SEE-mon GONE-yay; so he can report to training camp on time. None of this Eric Lindros holdout nonsense.

However, I’m experiencing a little deja vu on this deal. Hmm, it lasts five years. He’s paid a bit over $5 million per season which is pretty close the maximum under the new CBA. He plays Left Wing. He just had his best season ever: 47 goals and 79 points. Oh wait, all GM Bobby Clarke needs is a no-trade clause and he has another John LeClair disaster in the making, if Gagne has as many injuries. At least the odds are against it because Gagne is a forward that scores through assists from Forsberg or Knuble’s passes, not putting a foot in the crease to score on rebounds, what some call garbage goals. So when Gagne misses half a season due a horrible injury, it won’t be from the other teams’ defenders checking him the back.

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Happy 13th Anniversary to the Silders

On this day in 1993, my friends Paul and Helen were married. Quite a party after the wedding too. I recall we ended up late for the ceremony because of someone’s future wife holding us up.

The reception is what really made it special. Although the priest presiding over the ceremony did give everyone an update on how badly the Bears were doing; the wedding was on the south side of Chicago. Anyway, the reception had great food and an open bar which can overcome any logistical nightmare. It was one of the perfect beer days I will always remember.

Now they’ve been married for 13 years. Other than someone to babysit their two sons for about a month, what do you give the couple? According to one site textiles or fur (sticking with the modern era). Fur? Unless I want my friend Paul to look like Huggy Bear and Helen a magnet for the ALF and PETA extremists (as in the extremists amongst them, not all PETA people are nuts), even if the fur were fake. This leaves textiles. So I guess they’ll be expecting a bunch of people to chip in to buy them a bolt of fabric.

Let us give a hearty “Congratulations!” to Paul and Helen Silder and their ten-year headstart they have on Somara and me.

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Must be a ghost haunting the abandoned bodega

mysterymachine

The wife and I caught a glimpse of this van last night on our way to dinner. Neither of us had a camera and we were too tired to see if it was still parked there when we returned. Fortunately, it remained in place this morning while en route to Kenny’s for a morning coffee before some emergency Mac assistance for my WWII Vet friend Charles.

No sign of the gang at the nearby strip mall businesses but I think it would be a smart bet Shaggy and Scooby were stuffing themselves at the Mexican restaurant before desert at the neighboring bakery. The others? I’ll have to lean toward Fred, Daphne and Velma practicing at the dojo because the only “shopping” opportunities is a Goodwill outlet. There’s noooooo way Daphne shops at a second-hand store. I just realized that maybe Scooby Doo could’ve been at my veterinarian’s getting his annual check up or his teeth cleaned since after all those Scooby Snacks…his breath would be all P-U!

Should the van still be parked around there, I’ll definitely try to get autographs of the gang from Mystery, Inc. for the kids.

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Ten years of Quicken obsession started today

Ten years ago today I started using Quicken. Big deal right? It used to be bundled with PCs and new Performas (Apple’s really disappointing consumer-friendly Macs). At PowerComputing it was bundled with every computer they sold amongst many other useful pieces of software, namely Now Up-to-Date which I still use (iCal may be free, but it’s far from impressive which is a story for another day).

I had already begun tracking my debts back at the beginning of 1995, mainly to pass the time of being underemployed. There’s only so much you can do with an Excel spreadsheet though. I also can’t recall why I had an aversion to Quicken during my year as a temp with Apple neither. Whatever it may have been, it was pushed aside since I just bought a car. It was the most expensive thing in my life I had ever borrowed money for then. Despite having a permanent job with PowerComputing, I still was nervous about paying off the loan successfully. Quicken appeared to be the remedy for what Excel couldn’t do and keeping track of the break down on where my money was going on this car (gas, maintenance, interest, etc.). Too bad I didn’t really seriously reconcile my checking account until 2000. The only downside I find with the software is it being bound to the calendar year (there may be a way to change this, but it doesn’t matter now) so I couldn’t analyze any complete, comparitive data until 1998. Still, I give it a piece of the credit in assisting me with paying off my car, paying off my Sallie Mae loan, finding out how much of an albatross my credit cards were and putting me on track to buying a house. I also got Somara into the partial habit of using it in 1999 while were dating since she shared my earlier problems of not knowing where the money exactly went.

Maybe Quicken just caters to my “typical American” obsession with numbers, projections and pretty, 3-D graphs. It does make me feel good when I see the red square showing my current value always on the rise every month despite being worth negative money (home ownership does that).

Sadly, it is no longer included with the new iMac and Minis Apple announced last week. Not sure why and now that the Y2K idiocy is well past us, I can’t find a compelling reason to pay for anything higher than the 2005 version I already received with my Mini. If you’re not using something electronic to help keep track of the money situation though, I have to recommend Quicken. I don’t recommend its online stuff in which it communicates to your financial institution to withdraw money, etc. Some things are best left in the “Dark Ages.” And until my friends Jeremy and Adam publish something better because I recall them muttering about how much they dislike Quicken, I have to give the product my personal endorsement.

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Round Rock Express Advance

Friday night I was invited by my friend Jeremy to the Round Rock Express baseball game. The Express is the local AAA baseball team affiliated with the Houston Astros and they are part of the Pacific Coast League (even though the Pacific Ocean is almost 2000 miles away).

I had a pretty good time despite all the annoying rain and then the inevitable rain delay the umpires declared after the game stopped at the end of the ninth inning with a 5-5 tie. Our persistence was rewarded. The game was resumed after 30 minutes, fireworks and rock music on the PA. Since most people went home, we all took the vacant seats behind home plate to watch a nail-biting victory for the Express, putting them ahead in the series 2-1 over the Nashville Sounds (the AAA team for the Milwaukee Brewers who happen to be few hundred more miles away from the Paficic Ocean than we are.

The Express won the entire best-of-five series today after losing Saturday’s game. Now they take on the Tuscon Sidewinders.

Oh, the name? The Express. The team is named after a train theme and an active rail line near the diamond. I recall two trains went by during the game Friday; an Amtrak and a freight one. Ten years ago, I was part of the Austin vote of “no” that won by a ratio of 2-1 against the city putting up a bond to build a stadium for the AA team the MLB was going to move here called The Swing (in honor of Bob Wills & the Texas Playboys, not the very visible gay culture). Trust me, The Express is a much better name. Now if they could do something about calling their ballpark the Dell Diamond. See, in order to stay consistent with Dell’s notorious tax-dodging strategies, they move the name to a nearby parking lot when there aren’t any games so the corporation doesn’t have to pay any taxes on it. Just like how they “hide” their inventory of manufacturing parts and unsold computers.

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The Austin Chronicle turns 25

auschron

Austin’s alternative weekly celebrates a decent landmark in an era when you still here the pundits chant “print is dead.” I’ve had my differences of opinion with the Chronicle over the years but I’d rather read it than the lame, developer-biased Austin American-Statesman, a small piece of the Cox Media empire. As long as this weekly doesn’t print the TV listings and comics, then Austin’s poor excuse for a daily paper will retain its smug, status quo position.

Since it is based in Austin and an “alternative” paper, the Chronicle is obviously part of the Green, Liberal (in Texan, “Librul”), Leftist, Birkenstock-wearing, soy-latté drinking, tax-and-spend, anti-growth, always angry, irrational Bush-hating, so on -conspiracy. You get the idea which direction the articles lean. Somewhere between Mother Jones and AdBusters yet it’s enough to constantly annoy my more conservative friends in the Austin area. They do a better job covering the City Council, local issues and state government than the commercial media too.

Beyond its political columnists or hard news, the rest of this weekly is pretty useful with its more in-depth reviews of books, films, music, concerts, theater and interviews. I have had some bones to pick with them at times; I don’t think everything made in Austin is always fantastic, especially Richard Linklater’s movies and half of the bands that made it nationally (Vallejo, Poi Dog Pondering and Retarded Elf, BOR-ING). Their story about the uneven sentences given to drug offenders in Williamson County (whites received probation, blacks received jail time) turned out to be sloppy too after quizzing my friend Mark about it when he was with the DA’s office. It wasn’t as egregious as the So-Called Liberal Media’s coverage on everything else and Mark’s explanation was very damning of Williamson County’s law enforcement (when the police make errors with warrants, probation is usually the best the DA can do). I also don’t follow their political endorsements to the letter either but I still feel they’re more sincere than the Statesman’s hypocritical pontificating.

It’s not like Madison, WI’s The Onion or NYC’s Village Voice but it definitely reflects the character of inner Austin. May it go on for another 100 years with its listings of upcoming concerts, Jim Hightower columns and being a continuous thorn in the side of the various complacent, political powers of Texas, aka the National Laboratories for Bad Ideas, to borrow a phrase from Molly Ivins.

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Weight loss update

The wife bought a new scale yesterday and this one’s pretty good for its price tag. I like it already because I’ve lost five pounds with it! Seriously though, since this scale is in the privacy of our home, I can weigh myself in my gym clothes because I discovered that my street clothes added five pounds. All this time I’ve been lamenting about weighing almost as much as Homer Simpson (239 in his underwear if you’ve seen enough episodes). Turns out I’m 225 which makes me only 45 pounds overweight.

Now to find a way to lose the 5-10 the camera adds.

Posted in Factoids | 1 Comment

New uniforms for the San Antonion Rampage

rampagejerseysI understand the change in colors somewhat. The Rampage has the same owner(s) as the Spurs and they’re only affiliated with the Phoenix Coyotes (this is a year-by-year situation) so going with the brick red would be unwise if the Rampage became the AHL team for another NHL franchise. However, they should’ve flipped a coin or made a better argument to have these colors exclusively in their division because it’s hard to tell them apart from Milwaukee. They did borrow a note from UT’s look with “just the head snorting out steam.” I guess in hockey, black, white, gray and silver are the new teal, turquoise and purple.

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New iMacs and speedbumped Minis

Now there’s a 24″ iMac. Impressive because that would mean its display is an inch “bigger” (they’re measured diagonally) than my 23″ Cinema Display. It’s tempting though. I could trade in my entire G4 with 23″ display for one iMac, killing two birds with one stone.

Then again, I’m a stickler for the Mac Pro’s expandability with four hard drive bays and all incarnations of it can run at least one 30″ display.

I better get Somara’s student loan balances down significantly before I even consider a new desktop.

Meanwhile, the Mac Mini did get a slight speedbump too. Now there’s a Universal version of the OS to run on Intel so I can upgrade Picayune‘s host and give away the G4 one to a worthy cause.

I’m getting ahead of myself. At least there’s an iMac that can give the big displays a run for the money.

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Idiocracy: Must See

idiocracy

Mike Judge’s latest film is a black comedy in the same vein as his legendary Office Space. It’s funny in a subtle yet very painful way as it “hurts” to watch at times because there are numerous real-life examples of human idiocy surrounding us every day.

Luke Wilson is Joe Bowers, the Army’s perfect guinea pig for its top-secret hibernation project. He’s completely average: his IQ, his stress levels, his age, etc. The plan is to have him in stasis for one year, then measure the results. Joe goes along with it because it puts him closer to his pension and he always has been the type who believes that going with the flow or getting out of the way makes his life easier. Unfortunately, circumstances cause him to be forgotten and one year becomes 500 (not 1000 as the taglines say).

Meanwhile, the human race as a whole has become collectively dumber as the stupid reproduced in droves while the intelligent died out. This is explained in a hilarious bit showing the tales of two families: A yuppie couple who put off having any children until it’s too late and a tribe of white trash headed by a patriarch who doesn’t have the brains to use birth control let alone have any fidelity; a trait passed on to his equally pathetic brood. Science also declines because all its energies are redirected toward curing baldness and sexual performance. The ‘dumbening’ cascades into the world’s infrastructure decaying from neglect: mountains of garbage, dust storms and English devolving into a hybrid of hillbilly- and ghetto-speak sprinkled with a level of vulgarity that would make Tarantino’s scripts high art. Fox News surviving in this ignorant dystopia is no surprise though.

Joe is accidentally awakened to this horrible future when his hibernation “coffin” is swept away in a tidal wave of trash. Disoriented at first, Joe and this society’s crumbling institutions quickly realize he is the smartest person in the world. However, being smarter than the dumb masses will always earn you their hatred, not their respect. See the biography of Adlai Stevenson.

I enjoyed this dark movie too much. Mike Judge did a great job showing what civilization would be like if the ruling clique of dumbass jocks and cheerleaders from high school were always in charge. It was all the little details that helped too; the food products, the furniture (practically every chair has a built-in toilet), the low-brow TV, etc. The actors and script were excellent at showing a bully’s logic involving force, threats, name calling, repeating the same slogans constantly or dismissing facts with “whatever.” Also known as the Republican Party’s Talking Points regurgitated on Fox, MSNBC, CNN and C-Span. Maybe Idiocracy is a cautionary documentary about the horrible path the US is on now.

I know it’s only a movie, a comedy and fiction but it definitely makes a strong argument for eugenics.

Final notes. There was some noise (namely on the Internet) about Judge ripping off Futurama while this movie was in production. Although both involve a Rip Van Winkle premise, their executions are entirely different which makes them both enjoyable. Other examples to buck this criticism; Dexter’s Lab and Jimmy Neutron or Superman and Captain Marvel. This movie was also completed last year but Fox shelved it until now. Why? No one really knows other than the Fox people and Mike Judge. It won’t matter anyway. Much like Office SpaceIdiocracy will zip through theaters, be a theatrical failure and live on as a cult favorite through cable and DVD rentals.

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Five years at 1423 Roxanne’s Run

On this day five years ago, I closed on my house and it was relatively painless despite signing a piece of paper stating I’d be paying this off for the next 30 years. Thanks to an extra payment a year for three years, we stopped that in 2005 when we planned on moving to Phoenix, I now only have 22 years remaining on the mortgage. Also by my math, I own 14.7 percent of the place. According to the property tax estimate I received this Spring, I have now lost seven thousand dollars in equity (potential profit in plain English) since then but I don’t really care, the plan is to stay put and it’s still cheaper, smarter and better than renting. I even receive a tax refund thanks to having this house.

Another odd factoid I realized is that my house is the longest residence I’ve ever had in my life, five years. It used to just be the record holder for Austin when it exceeded three years and a month, formerly held by my apartment in Hyde Park (a neighborhood north of UT). I also stupidly thought the apartment was the record holder. Nope. The house my family lived in from March 1979 to August 1982 way back in Springfield, IL was the champ to beat with three years and five months. I don’t know how I forgot that place. Maybe I was trying to block out the uglier memories of seeing it in 1983.

If I could do it over, would I still buy this place? Pretty much. I only regret I didn’t snag a house sooner. I may have been able to buy some place closer to Austin or have one built like this for under $100,000. Pflugerville (silent P) isn’t so bad too. It’s the first suburb on Austin’s northeast side, parts of it are just across I-35, less than two miles away making it a short drive to the more desirable northwest side. Depending upon the traffic, downtown can be reached within 30 minutes which you can’t say about Houston, Dallas, San Antonio or the bigger cities I’ve lived near. No matter how stressful home ownership can be, even when the Reign of Terror bugs me, aka the Homeowner’s Association, it will always beat moving every year or paying a pet deposit.

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Buy this comic, again!

athena2

Back in February I plugged my friend Steve’s comic book. Unfortunately, the publisher went under after the first issue hit the shelves.

If you missed the first issue, don’t fret. Athena Voltaire is back and with Ape Entertainment which has a great slogan, “Two opposable thumbs up!” Catchy. Once again, the great people at Dragon’s Lair have recommended the title. When I was there yesterday to pick up my usual stuff (a story for another day), I immediately called Steve to let him know DL gave their approval and his book was proudly displayed at the checkout counter. That’s prime retail real estate he’s sharing with the latest issue of Justice helmed by the famous Alex Ross (artist who paints the DC heroes) and something authored by Grant Morrison (one of the two key writers behind the creation of DC’s Vertigo line). How awesome. Shortly after his birthday, I think Steve is on his way to bigger and better things.

What’s it about again? It’s the Pulp adventures of a Athena Voltaire who is part Shadow, part Indiana Jones and a tad of AEon Flux. Since she has to fight the Nazis, let’s throw in a sprinkle of Hellboy too! It still has those great endorsements from legitimate peers and an Wil Eisner nomination, The Oscars® of comics but with credibility, I don’t recall a Marisa Tomei-equivalent winning a key award. Anyway, if you’ve seen the last first issue, half the material is repeated yet the other half is new, continuing the story while setting up the second issue which will happen.

I will also do this on behalf of my friend of 15 years. Should you buy this comic and I actually know you [(ikely, if you’re reading this site) but you hate it, I will refund your money or trade you something equivalent for it.

Meanwhile, check it out and let Steve know what you think. There’s probably a way to contact him directly or indirectly through Ape Entertainment.

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